Life in a Day Page #3

for women to kneel down.

For example, a woman is supposed

to kneel down for a man.

Do you want to show us

how you do it?

So you greet Moses

like traditionally.

Wow! Wow!

Moses, how do you feel about it?

She comes in

and she kneels down every day.

Yes. Because I'm a man

she has to respect.

It's the culture.

Hi, grandma.

It's David. How are you?

I'm good. I'm still in New York.

It's, yeah, it's been really hot here.

Erm, but I'm having fun.

Er, anyway, I wanted to call you

because, erm...

...you know my friend, er, Nick

that you've met a lot?

Yeah. Yeah, I know,

he's a very, he's a very nice boy.

Well, I wanted to tell you that

he's, erm, not... not just my friend,

he's, he's my boyfriend.

Er, and it's something that I've wanted

to tell you for a while but, erm...

I wasn't really sure

how you would react.

So I was a little nervous

to tell you. Erm...

I, I love, I love you, too. Yeah.

I love you, too.

And I'm hoping that,

that maybe you can love Nick too.

Erm... because he's really

important to me

and so I'm hoping he can be

really important to you too.

Yeah.

Well, that, that means a lot to me.

Yeah.

Thank you.

I... Yeah, I love, I love you, too.

And you, yeah.

No, my parents know, yes.

Well, grandma,

they call it being gay now.

You don't have to say homosexual.

It's not... Yeah, it's...

Yes, it's not, it's not a disease.

Thank you!

Here, throw some cheese

to those ducks.

Get closer to 'em,

I'm taking a video, Sarah.

- They might bite me.

- No, they won't bite. Ducks don't bite.

Come on, I'm making a video.

Walk on out into 'em,

it'll be a good video.

Would you like me

to take a picture of you?

- Thank you.

- Just tell me what do you want me to do.

Just go like this.

Love is a battlefield.'

Listen, you two are going to fight

like hooded roosters.

But just get it out there.

It's science.

You know, place any two animals

in a contained area together,

you know,

there will be awesome tenderness

but also there will be blood.

That is my pocket, Walt Whitman.

Please.

He was surely one

of the greatest poets that ever lived.

If my babies can read

Walt Whitman day and night

and learn from him,

I'll be very happy.

After all, babies, he did say...

"I am august

"I do not trouble my soul

to vindicate itself"

No, he didn't say soul,

he said "I do not...

That's enough,

you'll use up all the memory!

This is self-indulgent

and please stop.

They need winding.

Please stop, Tristram.

- "...trouble my spirit to vindicate..."

- Stop being so selfish!

I've been looking after them all day.

Just stop it.

"I do not trouble my soul to...

I do not trouble my spirit...

- For Christ's sake, Tristram, stop it.

- "...to vindicate itself or be understood."

OK, fine.

Ann and John are today

renewing their vows

in the light of their 50 years'

experience of marriage.

Rather unusually,

each of this special couple

has agreed to write the vows

of the other.

That is, Ann has written John's vows

and John has written Ann's.

John, it is necessary to address

one or two shortcomings

in... ahem!

...the physical side of marriage.

Surely no one would argue that

there are certain physical demands

a wife can request of her husband.

And, Ann, I ask you that

you address these issues right now.

Do you agree to wash the windows

inside and out?

John asks if you will agree

to let him do that thing

you once told him you would let him

do on his 40th birthday

but still not have yet done.

So, Ann, in anticipation

of your previous answer,

John says, "I suppose

an occasional blow-job

"is completely out of the question?"

Finally, in spite of men obviously being

from Mars and women from Venus,

do you both promise to love

and treasure each other

and enjoy your lovely family life

together here at Appletree Cottage,

for as long as you both shall live?

We do.

Do the jerk.

Please do the jerk.

By the end, I'm gonna get

the Commander to do the jerk.

Why you gotta stick your tongue out?

Punch Easton in the face.

Oh, my God!

That's the Rebel Alliance.

And there is the Empire.

Hi. This is my room.

And this is our garden.

So my name is Masoud Hossaini.

I live in Afghanistan, Kabul,

and I'm a news photographer.

Here is my house.

And he's my father, drinking tea.

My mother is praying.

Farid, my brother, is just again

staring in the refrigerator as always.

Right now, I'm in my car

going to Kabul's old city

to take some pictures.

Sometimes I like to just

walk around there

looking for a good shot.

These are like my two babies.

I carry them everywhere.

- Salaam.

- Salaam alaikum.

'Here I am. By myself.'

'Because my husband is

a half a world away,

'going to work, fighting for us.'

What shirt should I wear? Which one

do you think will Phil like better?

Hmm? Which one do you think?

That one? Is that one the best?

Here is the market

in the old city.

Most foreigners think it is dangerous

to walk around the streets of Kabul,

but, as you can see,

there is no danger for us anyway.

# Waiting game

# Waiting game

So this is a street that's normally

selling birds like this.

They call them love birds

because they are always

kissing each other.

Where are you?

'Hi, Sharon.'

Hi.

- 'Hi.'

- How's it going?

Can you see me?

Of course, it's our date night.

Afghanistan,

the name of my country,

comes with the conflict,

war, suicide attack,

and all the negative points that

we hear and listen in the news.

But there is another side of Afghanistan

that you don't normally see.

These girls make me feel optimistic

about the future of my country.

'I love you.'

I love you, too. Stay safe.

'I will, honey. You too, OK?

OK.

- 'Bye.'

- Bye.

Daddy, you seen my war?

Oh, and the red is bad,

the white is good of the helmets.

Oh, it's not so bad.

No?

Is there something that's

bleeding under my arm?

Let's see if I can just get this.

Oh, oh what, what is it?

What is it?

Did that come out of your hair?

No, it was on my back.

It's a ladybug.

Any kind of monster.

Or ghosts.

Or a witch.

What do zombies do?

OK, you do a great zombie.

I have a fear of dogs.

Wasps.

Spiders.

I fear... robbers.

Rapers.

I fear growing up.

I'm afraid of losing this place.

I am afraid of homosexuality.

Homosexuality is like... is like disease,

and I am afraid of disease.

I stay in my room and

all I can think about is whether,

in a couple of years,

someone else is gonna live here,

someone who is not Israeli,

maybe someone Palestinian.

I guess politics scares me

more than anything.

I wonder if we're gonna get

in another war.

One of the things I fear more

than anything right now

is that my hair has started

to fall out.

This is me.

This is what I'm afraid of.

That my husband will leave me

for another wife,

because of our lack

of "you know what".

I fear loneliness.

Not waking up one morning,

and nobody finding you for a week.

That'd be interesting.

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