Life Is Sweet Page #9

Yeah speaking yeah

Oh hello

how're you?

Oh blimey you're

joking me? he hasn't?

Aw how did

he do it?

Oh no sorry Brian I'm sorry

I know you shouldn't laugh, but

Aw is he

alright though?

Yeah, no it's alright no I can

come over, yeah straight away

Alright thanks

for phoning me

Aw yeah and

you alright then

Yeah

ta ta bye

Nicola

Oh Christ

Hello Nat

Look at the state of him

Here you are

take the bag

Take these Wend

Go on

How're you going to do it? -

I don't know

Oh blimey

Hang on hang on -

Take it steady

Don't let that door slam -

Don't worry I've got it

Do you want a hand? -

No no I'll do it myself

Ok? -

Yeah yeah

Right

There you go -

Give us those

That's it

that's it

Right come on

take it easy

I've got you -

Alright

It's alright

Open the gate Nat -

Yeah hold on

Go on

Now don't rush

Andy, right?

It's alright -

Just take it steady

Andy what're

you doing?

Blimey you're not a

greyhound in a race

Well take

it Wend

I'm trying Andy -

Well get rid of it

Alright?

Yeah

He needs a little

thingy doesn't he

Hold on I'll

get this table

Oh that's

it Nat

Here we are

Right

That's the job -

Careful careful careful

Looks like the

Royal leg

Aw look at his little face

aw poor Andy

He's been through

alot y'know

Hey listen how're you going

to get your trousers off?

Cut them

Well I tell you what I'll get

me little scissors right?

and I'll come up

the inside leg

Don't make me

laugh Wendy

How long you got to

have this on for then?

I don't know, six or eight weeks

something like that

Cushy number

Yeah I wouldn't mind

six weeks holiday

Well it's a damn nuisance

as a matter of fact

I was going to get started on the caravan

when I got back from work this evening, it's a pisser

Oh blimey what

about Aubrey?

Oh yeah

What about

Aubrey?

Oh lets

leave it

Let him stew in his own juice

I've got enough on me plate

Ain't you going

in tonight then?

No -

Why?

Because -

Where's Nicola?

Upstairs

Does she know I

had an accident?

Well she

told me

Nicola

Here I'll run these

things up Andy

Oh hang on, give us that

give us it here

I know what

you want

You want your little

souvenir don't you?

Yeah that's the bastard

that's the culprit

What?

Yeah trying to kid us

he slipped on a spoon

He was still blooming

drunk from last night

Never

I've never known

pain like it Nat

Ain't you?

Searing pain

Did you hear

it snap?

No I didn't

actually

Oh yeah

I did

Yeah I did

Did you?

Yeah

It's like when you break a

dry stick across your knee

Know what

I mean?

Nicola

What?

Can I

come in?

Look at that

An ordinary

spoon

I never noticed

it before

Here you are

Nineteen seventy five

This spoon was born when

you were seven years old

Oh yeah

Just sits in

a drawer

Out of the

drawer

Into the

peas

Stir the

custard

Into the wash

out of the wash

Up on the hooks with

all the other spoons

and all the time just

waiting for the fatal day

When it would drastically alter

the course of a mans life

It doesn't look

dangerous does it?

Nah you take my word for it

that is an evil spoon

Here you are look put it

in a place of honour

Keep an

eye on it

Yeah I don't

trust it

Get us some

chocolate

Tell you what

Go and give your face a little wash

make you feel a bit better eh?

Nah

You don't want your Dad to know

you've been sitting here crying do you?

He don't want

to see me

He does

I'll make him

feel worse

Don't be

so daft

I'm a burden

to you

Listen

We got to turn over

a new leaf yeah?

Both of us

All of us

Come on have

a little cup of tea

Nah I don't

want one

Come on do it

for your Dad

He's been

asking for you

Has he?

Yeah

Sitting there with his

tongue hanging out

You know what he's like

he wants a bit of tea and sympathy

I just want

to talk to you

Do you?

Do you want a hand Nat? -

Nah it's alright

Here you are Andy give us a

little bit of chocolate don't hog it all

It's alright there's

plenty for everyone

Ta

Here you are Nic

Want a bit? -

Nah

Go on

have a bit

Nah it's alright

Have a little bit

cheer yourself up

It's alright

don't force her

Here you

are Nic

Thanks

Did you go to

the travel agent?

Yeah

I'm going to

New York

Chicago

and New Orleans

Ain't you

going Disney?

No I want to go

interesting places

Oh blimey fancy going to the States

and not going to Disney land

Why don't

you go Nic?

Nah

It's too big

Well she can

go next year

Get yourself

sorted

Save up eh?

How's the leg?

Oh not too bad

throbbing a bit

Only one

problem

I got to go to the

toilet in a minute

Eh

Go and get your

Dad a bucket

Hey look at

that spoon

Just take the weight

just take the weight

That's it

that's it

Blimey it's

heavy isn't it

Alright? -

Yeah

Put the pillow

behind me

There you go

That's it

Tell you

what Andy

Good job you're

not a horse

Why?

They'd of

shot you

Here you

are then

There you go

It's good you had that

chat with Mum isn't it

Get things

cleared up

Eh?

Did you

tell her?

Tell her

what?

Everything

What do

you mean?

You know

what I mean

No?

I'm not

deaf

I never said

you was

I've got the room next

to yours, remember

I can

hear you

What? playing

my music?

You know what

I'm talking about

At nights

Getting sick

and everything

I'm not

sick

Oh come on

I'm not

It's hot

isn't it

I can't

help it

I know

I think we should

do something about it

Who's we?

You and me

Have you told

them about it

No

Why not?

Well don't know

Suppose I

should of

Don't know

why I didn't

Yeah I do

know why

'cause I think

you should

I know what I

do is disgusting

I am disgusting

Yeah it is

disgusting

Mind you I do some pretty

disgusting things myself

Do you?

Yeah

What?

Oh I can't

tell you

What is it?

I put my hands

down toilets

and on a good day

I might get bitten by a rat

Do you want

any money?

Yeah

Alright

Cheers

Nah it's ok

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