Life Tracker

We've been in Utah

for a couple of weeks now,

but it's just a stopover.

But it sure is beautiful

up here.

I don't know if this

probably doesn't do it justice,

but there's 11 of us now,

which is good.

We broke down the campsite

this morning

and we're about to

hike off the Mountain.

It's taken me a lot longer

to get this done

than I ever expected,

but here it is.

Enjoy.

Excuse me, sir, ma'am.

I was wondering if by any

chance you heard of a company

called life tracker limited?

It's okay if you haven't.

I read about them

on the Internet.

I'm just out asking people

what they might think about...

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Sorry, no English.

Hi, I was wondering

if I could ask your opinions

about a news story

I read today?

When in Rome, right?

Absolutely.

On the news.

Excuse me, ladies.

Have you by any chance

heard of a company

called life tracker limited?

Have you heard that

a company called life tracker

thinks they can use DNA

to predict the future?

This is the palm reading

of the 21st century.

I mean it could be possible.

Wait, am I supposed to look

at you or the camera?

Wait, what are you asking?

Oh, sure.

They've been looking at

people's DNA for years

to try to stay ahead of anyone

that poses a threat

to the political machine.

They say they can analyze

a strain of DNA sort of like

a timeline.

I'm not really comfortable

with the...

What if knowing your future

could change it?

Like in back to the future?

You know how easy it is

to get DNA nowadays?

I mean from like

a discarded cup

from a fast food joint

or hair or...

Period blood.

Good one, honey.

Dad.

You're implying

that someone is doing tests

on used hygiene products?

Not just someone.

The president.

But if your DNA knows

your future then it would have

already factored in

that you found out you future.

Is it hard to make a movie?

Now, son,

what did I say about

talking to strangers?

Not after you learn how.

How can I learn how?

If you know you know

and you can't change it.

If all of a sudden aliens

came out of the sky

it would change how people

thought about things,

which would lead to change.

Do you have a camera at home?

Yeah, I've got a camera.

Uh-uh.

No, you know what?

I think we've had just about

enough of this interview.

Is this going to be

on TV somewhere?

I came across

a news story I thought

was pretty interesting.

So, I decided to go down to

Hollywood boulevard

and shoot a little,

just play around.

I thought maybe I'd get a

reaction from somebody who...

Hey, Dillon.

Hey, dil.

What are you shooting?

Just an intro

for some interviews I did.

It's going to look like crap

with you shooting it

all by yourself.

Ohh, hello beautiful.

Get that out of here.

Just take my help.

I'm here.

I'm already framed up.

All right?

Action.

I'm Dillon Smith

and this morning

I read an article

about a company

that says they can use DNA

to predict the future.

So, I'm headed down

to Hollywood boulevard

to see what people think.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Dillon,

we're so proud of you, honey.

It was good, buddy.

But if you want someone

with a little charisma

to host your documentary ideas

there's always me,

Scott orenhauser.

'Cause you have charisma

pouring out of your veins.

You know it, you know it.

Bye, Dillon.

Catch you later, dil.

We're proud of you, honey.

Later, guys.

so, Scott is always

talking about this grant

that they give

to documentary filmmakers.

It's called the clemens grant

and it's a big cash prize

and tons of sponsored equipment

to use as finishing funds

for your feature length

documentary.

I don't know if it's jealousy

that's getting my ass in gear

or if I'm just sick of

listening to opportunity knock

and not answering.

So, I went back

to the footage that I shot

a couple of weeks ago

and it's bad,

but I looked up the story

and there's more news.

What I'm about to show you

is the video

of Richard 'rocko' hutchensen.

He's the coo

of life tracker limited.

Interesting character,

to say the least.

Regular Howard Hughes.

Video already has

over 300,000 views.

If you're watching this

video it's probably because

you heard something

just crazy enough

to make you Google it.

We can predict the future.

Ooh, magic.

No, it's not.

Don't be a jackass.

This is science.

Everyone told Galileo

he was a whack job

when he suggested

the sun stars didn't revolve

around the earth.

But he had science on his side

and now we know that

we're un-special cosmic dust

at the edge

of a puny galaxy far, far away

from the center

of the universe.

What we're talking about here

is a scientific way

to look at DNA

as a biological timeline

of a human's life.

I could explain it

in more detail,

but you're not going

to understand it.

Put it this way,

your body knows

and documents things

that we're never

consciously aware of.

Until now.

We made these discoveries

over seven years ago,

but we were shuffled

into the depths

of the legal system

and our tongues were tied.

Now, freedom of speech

has prevailed.

Kind of.

Powers that be still say

you're too stupid

and irresponsible to know

about all of our discoveries.

They're probably right,

but who made them the bosses?

Would...

Mako garden apartments,

can I help you?

Even the press secretary

made a statement about him.

All right, check this out.

Says, "not enough information

"exists to prove the accuracy

"of such a tool.

"Foods, drugs,

"medical processes,

"and new technologies all

"have to be rigorously tested

"before public use.

"It is a government's

"responsibility

to protect its citizens."

Uh-huh.

Wait.

Wait a minute.

You see that?

Wait a minute.

So, this information

is in my own blood

and I'm not allowed

to know about it?

Anything more

than a glorified hotel room,

you know, as an apartment.

No offense, dil.

None taken.

And I drive 1987 Nissan

pickup truck

with 290,000 Miles on it, okay?

I rely on you guys for weed.

I don't own squat.

And now I don't even

own my DNA?

Pretty much.

Where are you going?

Welcome to America, buddy.

My wonderful boyfriend

didn't get me a beer.

You didn't say

you wanted one.

Why they would

want this stopped.

Here we go.

No, I'm serious.

Okay.

What if Mr. walk the walk,

talk the talk.

Me?

You.

Mr. schmooze over here

found out that

all of his ass kissing

and networking functions

were completely pointless

because he found out

from his print

that he was going

to get cancer

and he was going to die

in a year?

What then?

Why not just give up?

Why not just,

bam, end it early?

Oh, now,

that's some deep sh*t

we're talking

about Scott here.

It's not that deep.

Oh, cheers.

Ouch.

Oh, dang, baby.

You are sexy

when you're feisty.

Careful though.

You might confuse

Drake's sexuality.

Just let me suck it once

and I promise you'll like it,

buddy.

It's not going to suck itself.

Let's go.

Okay, change the subject.

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