Life with Mikey Page #7

COME ON!

[Cheering, Whistling]

HEY! WHO INVITED YOU

DOWN HERE, PUNK?

HERE, COME HERE!

YOU WANNA BE IN THE RING?

WELL, NOW YOU'RE IN HERE.

[Laughing]

[Screaming]

[Angie]

STOP! PUT HIM DOWN!

NO! PUT HIM DOWN!

[Screaming Continues]

I'LL PUT HIM DOWN, LITTLE

GIRL. HERE, YOU TAKE HIM.

OH MY GOD!

WHOA, WHERE ARE YOU GOIN',

LITTLE LADY?

COME ON, EVERYBODY!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR ANGIE

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

[Applause]

WRESTLERS ARE NOT REALLY

THAT MEAN, YOU KNOW.

THEY'RE JUST LIKE HAMMY

TV ACTORS, WHICH IS WHY

THEY DIDN'T HURT ME.

IT'S LIKE A

PROFESSIONAL COURTESY.

THOSE TICKETS MUST'VE

COST YOU A LOT OF MONEY.

THEY COST $237, BUT THEY

DIDN'T COST ME ANYTHING.

IT'S COMING OUT OF YOUR CUT.

I THINK JUDY WASSERMAN

WOULD MAKE A GREAT WRESTLER.

THEY COULD CALL HER

THE MERMANATOR.

[Laughing]

HEY, IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA WEAR

THAT STOLE THAT BARRY

GAVE YOU, DO YOU MIND

IF I BORROW IT?

BE MY GUEST.

YOU AND EVAN:

SET A DATE YET?

SHUT UP!

YOU REALLY ARE 11, ANG.

ENJOY IT.

I KNOW IT WAS THE

HIGH POINT OF MY LIFE.

I WAS THINKING ABOUT...

HEY! WHAT HAPPENED?

THE CORPORATE SECRETARY CALLED.

SHE SAID IT WAS IMPORTAN HE SEE BOTH OF US RIGHT AWAY.

YOU THINK?

HE'S MAKING ANGIE

THE OFFICIAL SPOKESGIRL.

[Cheering]

[Whistles]

OH, LOOK AT THIS!

HELLO, MR. C.

MR. CORCORAN,

GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

SIT DOWN, GENTLEMEN!

WHOOPS!

JUST GONNA...

THIS IS MY ATTORNEY,

MR. NORMAN FELLER.

HEY, NORMAN.

OH, PLEASURE

TO MEET YOU, NORMAN.

I'VE ALWAYS LOVED

THAT NAME, "NORMAN."

THAT'S NICE.

MR. FELLER, WOULD YOU

TELL THESE GENTLEMEN...

WHAT YOU'VE JUST TOLD ME?

YES, SIR.

OUR LEGAL DEPARTMENT DOES THE

CHECK INTO ALL THE CONTRACTUAL

ASPECTS OF THE COMMERCIALS.

WE DISCOVERED THAT THE SIGNATURE

ON ANGIE'S CONTRACT...

BELONGS TO A JANICE VEGA,

WHO IS NOT HER LEGAL GUARDIAN.

ANGIE'S ACTUAL GUARDIAN

IS HER FATHER, A RICHARD VEGA.

NO, THAT'S, THAT'S NOT,

THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE.

YOU TOLD ME:

HER FATHER WAS DEAD.

HE'S DEAD. HE'S DEAD!

ANGIE'S FATHER,

WHO IS VERY MUCH ALIVE,

IS AT A REHAB CENTER UPSTATE.

THESE COMMERCIALS COST ME

ONE-HALF MILLION DOLLARS.

AND NOW I MAY NO BE ABLE TO AIR THEM!

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY, SIR.

WE HAD NO IDEA...

WHAT DO YOU DO?

PICK UP KIDS:

FROM OFF THE STREETS?

NOW LISTEN CAREFULLY!

IF THESE CONTRACTS...

ARE NOT ON MY DESK BY

TOMORROW MORNING, SIGNED

BY ANGIE'S FATHER,

YOU WILL PAY FOR

THESE COMMERCIALS,

AND THEN I WILL SUE YOU...

FOR BREACH OF CONTRACT,

FRAUD AND GROSS NEGLIGENCE!

NOW BELIEVE ME,

IF YOU DO NOT COMPLY,

I WILL HAVE YOUR HEADS.

NOW GET OUT OF MY OFFICE!

OHHH!

[Groaning]

THIS IS MY FAULT.

I SHOULD NEVER HAVE

LISTENED TO YOU.

ANYONE WHO'S STUPID ENOUGH

TO LISTEN TO YOU...

DESERVES TO WIND UP

IN THIS SITUATION.

DO ME A FAVOR, ED.

DON'T MAKE IT SOUND LIKE

I'M A COMPLETE MORON.

SHE TOLD ME THAT HER

FATHER WAS DEAD!

SO WHAT?

CORCORAN'S RIGHT.

IT WAS OUR JOB TO KNOW

SHE HAS A FATHER!

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHA WE'RE DOING REPRESENTING

HER IN THE FIRST PLACE.

YOU ARE UNBELIEVABLE!

TWENTY MINUTES AGO...

YOU WERE THRILLED

WHEN YOU THOUGHT THE MONEY

WAS GONNA COME ROLLING IN.

NOW DON'T BE SUCH A HYPOCRITE,

ALL RIGHT, ED?

DON'T TELL ME ABOUT THE MONEY!

YOU THINK BECAUSE YOU

GO OUT AND FIND ONE CLIEN IN THE PAST TWO YEARS...

I SHOULD GET DOWN

ON MY KNEES AND THANK YOU?

I HAVE KEPT THIS AGENCY

OPEN FOR THE PAST TEN YEARS!

IF IT WASN'T FOR ME, ED,

THERE WOULDN'T BE AN AGENCY.

WELL, THAT'S OLD NEWS, MICHAEL.

THAT WAS 15 YEARS AGO!

THAT EXCUSE DOESN' HOLD UP ANYMORE.

[Elevator Bell Rings]

ALL RIGHT, FINE. FINE.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO?

I'M GONNA GO UP TO ELMIRA.

I'M GONNA GE THE SIGNATURE MYSELF.

I'M GONNA DO I ALL BY MYSELF!

I'M GONNA NEED YOUR CAR

AND SOME MONEY FOR GAS.

[Starter Grinding]

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME

YOU WERE BEHIND THE WHEEL?

I'M DOING THIS. WHY DON'T YOU

GO BACK TO THE OFFICE

AND CALL OUR LAWYER?

WHAT LAWYER?

ERIC THE MAGICIAN'S FATHER,

HE'S A LAWYER, RIGHT?

CALL HIM.

ERIC THE MAGICIAN...

[Tires Screeching]

OH, OH! LET ME IN.

ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.

I'M OKAY.

LET ME IN,

I'LL DRIVE!

I'M OKAY,

I'M OKAY! I'M OKAY!

WHO CARES ABOUT YOU?

I STILL HAVE PAYMENTS

ON THIS CAR!

[Tires Screeching]

[Horn Honking]

[Man Shouting Indistinctly]

MICHAEL, GET OUT OF THE...

[Tires Screeching]

SO THAT'S WHEN I DECIDED THA THE BEST THING TO DO WOULD BE...

JUST TO GET IN THE CAR

AND DRIVE UP HERE.

I... I APPRECIATE WHA YOU'RE DOING FOR ANGIE.

BUT I'M HER FATHER.

WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL ME?

WELL, ANGIE NEVER

TOLD ME ABOUT YOU.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

WELL... SHE SAID YOU WERE DEAD.

OH.

I MEAN, I THINK SHE MEANT I IN THE BEST SENSE OF THE WORD.

YOU KNOW, LIKE TIRED DEAD.

DEAD TIRED. POOPED.

WHEN MY WIFE DIED,

I LOST IT. OKAY?

I SNAPPED, AND THIS IS SOMETHING

VERY DIFFICULT FOR ME TO ADMIT,

BUT I WAS NOT THERE

FOR MY DAUGHTERS

THE WAY I SHOULD HAVE BEEN.

I... YOU DON'T HAVE TO

EXPLAIN TO ME. LISTEN.

MY LIFE HAS BEEN GOING

DOWNHILL FOR ABOUT 15 YEARS.

I MEAN, AT LEAST YOU

HAVE DAUGHTERS.

I HAVE NO KIDS.

I HAVE NO MONEY.

I HAVE NO... LIFE.

I'M SORRY, DID I INTERRUPT YOU?

NO, GO ON.

I'M STARTING TO FEEL BETTER.

I'M STARTING TO FEEL WORSE.

WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULD

COME HERE AND STAY FOR A WHILE.

[Sighing]

ACTUALLY THIS IS A PRETTY GOOD

PLACE, AND I'M FEELING GREAT.

WHEN I GET MY FAMILY BACK,

I'LL BE ALL RIGHT.

[Angie Singing]

ZIP-A-DEE-DOO-DAH

ZIP-A-DEE-AY

MY, OH, MY

WHAT A WONDERFUL DAY

PLENTY OF SUNSHINE

COMIN' MY WAY ZIP...

HEY, CHAPMAN!

HOW'RE YA DOIN'?

I HOPE YOU'RE HUNGRY

'CAUSE WE'RE HAVING SPAGHETTI.

THAT IS, IF I CAN GET I OFF THE SIDE OF THE POT.

HEY, ANG?

OH, AND ANNA CALLED.

SHE SAID YOU WERE SUPPOSED

TO CALL HER BACK FRIDAY.

ANGIE?

YOU REALLY GET AROUND.

YOU A CONDOM TESTER

OR SOMETHING?

ANGIE!

I MET YOUR FATHER TODAY.

WHAT DID YOU SAY?

I SAID, I SAW YOUR DAD TODAY.

I WENT UP TO ELMIRA.

HOW COME YOU DIDN' TELL ME ABOUT HIM?

I HATE MY FATHER.

I LIKE HIM.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WENT UP TO

SEE HIM WITHOUT ASKING ME FIRST.

YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO DO THAT!

IT WASN'T EXACTLY

A PLEASURE TRIP!

YOU KNOW CORCORAN THREATENED

TO SUE ME AND ED IF WE DIDN' GET YOUR FATHER'S SIGNATURE?

YOU COULD'VE TOLD ME FIRST!

IF YOU HAD BEEN HONEST WITH ME,

WE WOULDN'T EVEN BE HAVING

THIS CONVERSATION RIGHT NOW.

YOU GOTTA STOP LYING, ANG.

DON'T GIVE ME THAT.

YOU LIE ALL THE TIME.

I DO NOT.

NO?

YOU LIED TO ED ABOUT ME

WHEN WE FIRST WEN UP TO THE OFFICE. RIGHT?

[Sighs]

AND THEN YOU MADE UP

SOME FAKE RESUM FOR ME.

AND THEN... YOU LIE

TO YOUR GIRLFRIENDS.

THAT'S DIFFERENT.

YEAH, RIGHT.

IT'S OKAY FOR YOU TO LIE.

LOOK, THE POINT IS YOUR

DAD'S WORRIED ABOUT YOU...

AND HE WANTS TO TALK TO YOU.

AND HE THINKS YOU SHOULD

GO BACK TO YOUR HOUSE.

HE SAID HE WOULD MAKE

SURE LENNY MOVES OUT.

HE'S YOUR FATHER, ANG.

I THINK YOU SHOULD

DO WHAT HE SAYS.

FINE. I'LL LEAVE NOW.

I'M NOT SAYING YOU

SHOULD LEAVE NOW.

NO, I WANT TO.

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