Life with Mikey Page #9

SO, HOW WAS YOUR RIDE UP?

OKAY.

GOOD. WHY DON'T WE ALL

GO INTO THE LOUNGE?

HO, HO, HO!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

LISTEN. YOU GUYS...

WHY DON'T YOU GO AHEAD?

I'VE GOT SOME REALLY IMPORTAN PHONE CALLS TO MAKE.

YOU KNOW HOW SHOW BUSINESS IS.

HIGH STAKES, BIG DEALS

HAPPENING EVERY MINUTE.

ON CHRISTMAS EVE?

YEAH, WE REPRESEN A LOT OF ELVES.

GO AHEAD. IT'S OKAY.

LET'S GO.

THERE'S A SEA OVER THERE IN THE CORNER.

HI. HOW ARE YOU, MARY?

IT'S MY DAUGHTER,

ANGIE.

HI.

MY DAUGHTER, ANGIE.

SIT DOWN.

LOOK, I WANT YOU

TO HAVE THIS BOOK.

IT'S A GIFT.

IT'S VERY, VERY

IMPORTANT TO ME.

I WANT YOU TO READ IT.

I WROTE ALL THE THINGS I

WANNA CHANGE ABOUT MYSELF.

AND NO DRINKS.

WELL, ARE YOU GONNA STAR DRINKING WHEN WE GET HOME?

NO, I WON'T. I PROMISE.

READ, READ THE BOOK.

SEE THIS? THESE ARE ALL OF THE

THINGS THAT I'VE BEEN THINKING

WHILE I'VE BEEN IN HERE.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU, BABY.

OH, SORRY.

THAT'S OKAY.

YOU KNOW, ACTUALLY...

SHE'S BEEN REALLY

GOOD THIS YEAR.

[Telephone Ringing]

[Crying]

CHAPMAN AND CHAPMAN.

BUT NOT FOR LONG.

HOW MAY I HELP YOU?

GEENA?

IT'S ANGIE.

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

[Crying Continues]

IT'S OVER.

THE AGENCY'S CLOSING.

IT'S ALL OVER.

WHAT HAPPENED?

OHHH!

THAT LITTLE SHRUNKEN CRETIN,

BARRY CORMAN,

HE FINALLY GOT HIS WAY.

[Crying Continues]

BARRY, SO NICE TO SEE YOU!

YOU LOOK GORGEOUS.

AND I'M SO GLAD YOU

FINALLY CAME AROUND.

WHAT WAS IT?

MY SMILE?

MY PERSONALITY?

MY FINANCIAL STATUS?

ALL OF THE ABOVE.

SOMETHING'S GOING ON.

WHY ARE YOU SUDDENLY

SO NICE TO ME, MY LADY IN RED?

WELL, THERE WAS SOMETHING

I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT.

I JUST HEARD:

CHAPMAN AND CHAPMAN

WAS CLOSING.

YEAH. I'M ALL BROKEN UP.

WHAT'S YOUR POINT?

I THINK YOU SHOULD

GO BACK WITH THEM.

HEY, TOOTS, MY COLOGNE

MAKIN' YOU DIZZY?

LISTEN TO ME, DREAM BOAT.

THOSE GUYS ARE BUMS,

THEY'RE LOSERS.

THEY COULDN'T GE CASTRO A JOB IN CUBA.

COME HERE, BARRY.

I WANNA WHISPER:

SOMETHING IN YOUR EAR.

[Grunts]

YOU LISTEN TO ME!

YOU THINK YOU'RE

GONNA BE 12 FOREVER?

YOU'RE NOT. YOU'RE GONNA GE BIGGER AND UGLIER AND HAIRIER.

AND IN A FEW YEARS WHEN

NOBODY'LL HIRE YOU, SPIRO'LL

DROP YOU LIKE A HOT POTATO.

BUT MICHAEL AND ED WILL

ALWAYS BE THERE FOR YOU.

OKAY, OKAY!

WHAT A SHE-DEVIL!

GEENA DIDN'T SAY

WHAT THE PROBLEM WAS?

SHE JUST SAID IT WAS SOME

KIND OF EMERGENCY, AND WE

SHOULD GET HERE RIGHT AWAY.

SHE PROBABLY:

BROKE ANOTHER NAIL.

SURPRISE!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

FOR ME?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

YOU KNOW IT'S NOT MY

BIRTHDAY, RIGHT?

I KNOW.

BUT I THOUGHT YOU NEEDED A PARTY

AND WE GOT THE PERFECT PRESENT.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR MICHAEL

ACTUALLY IT'S FOR BOTH OF YOU.

JUST AS LONG AS:

YOU DIDN'T STEAL IT.

I DON'T THINK SO. IT'S HARD

TO PUT A CAKE IN YOUR POCKET.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

WELL, COME ON, BLOW

OUT THE CANDLES.

[Cheering, Applause]

TA-DA!

WHOA, THIS IS A BIG CAKE!

I'M GONNA NEED SOME HELP

HERE WITH THESE CANDLES.

[Blowing]

HEY, IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAY!

I'M BACK!

[Laughing]

SEE?

NOW THE AGENCY CAN STAY OPEN.

YEAH!

ANG, THIS IS GREAT.

HOW'D YOU PULL THIS OFF?

WELL, ANGIE AND I HAD A LITTLE

TALK, AND SHE CONVINCED ME

TO BE LOYAL AND NICE AND...

WHAT WAS THAT OTHER THING?

A HUMAN BEING.

YEAH, WHATEVER.

[Michael]

WELL, BARRY,

I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SAY THIS,

BUT IT IS GREAT TO SEE YOU

AGAIN, AND THANKS FOR NO JUMPING OUT OF THE CAKE NAKED.

[Laughing]

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

SOME GIFT, HUH?

ACTUALLY I WAS HOPING

FOR POWER TOOLS.

TSK!

ED, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

WE'RE BACK IN BUSINESS HERE.

LASSIE HAS COME HOME!

[Crowd]

YEAH!

MICHAEL, PLEASE!

HE'LL LEAVE AGAIN IN A MONTH...

WHEN YOU CALL HIM

AN OVERGROWN MUNCHKIN,

AND I'LL BE STUCK

HERE ALONE WITH THE

CHILDREN THAT TIME FORGOT.

[Moans, Groans]

YOU'LL BE SWELL

YOU'LL BE GREAT

JUDY, SWITCH TO DECAF.

I DON'T BELIEVE IT!

YOU JUST CAN'T SAVE SOME PEOPLE.

COME ON, MR. CHAPMAN,

IT'LL BE JUST LIKE OLD TIMES.

[Crowd]

YEAH!

YEAH. WHY DO YOU THINK

I'M LEAVING?

ED!

REMEMBER YOU SAID I SHOULD

DECIDE WHETHER I WANNA

DO THIS JOB OR NOT?

WELL, I DECIDED, ED.

I WANNA DO IT!

I'M READY TO DO IT!

LISTEN TO HIM, ED!

HE'S GREAT WITH KIDS!

LOOK WHAT HE DID FOR ME!

THAT'S RIGHT. ED, ED!

I TURNED HER FROM A PICKPOCKE INTO A STAR INTO A SHOPLIFTER.

YOU THINK THAT'S EASY?

[Crowd]

YEAH!

[Woman Knocking]

HI, WE'RE HERE

FOR THE OPEN AUDITIONS.

I'M SORRY, MA'AM,

BUT THE AGENCY IS CLOSED...

FOREVER.

LISTEN, MY DAUGHTER

HAS A WONDERFUL VOICE.

AND I'VE BEEN

PRACTICIN' AND PRACTICIN'.

PRACTICIN' AND PRACTICIN'.

ED, COME ON.

LISTEN TO ME,

ALL RIGHT?

I WANNA TELL YOU SOMETHING

THAT I'VE NEVER TOLD YOU BEFORE.

ALL RIGHT?

WHEN THEY HAD THE LIFE OF MIKEY

AUDITIONS AND DAD TOOK ME DOWN,

AND THEY SAID, "WE'RE NO SEEING ANY MORE KIDS,"

AND DAD SAID... DAD SAID, "I'M NO LEAVING UNTIL YOU SEE MY KID."

AND WE STAYED THERE

UNTIL THEY SAW ME.

MOM TOOK YOU:

TO THOSE AUDITIONS.

ALL RIGHT,

SO DO IT FOR MOM.

DO IT FOR MOM,

RIGHT? COME ON!

[Cheering]

DO IT FOR MOM.

COME ON ALONG AND LISTEN TO

THE LULLABY OF BROADWAY

THE HIT PARADE AND BALLYHOO

THE LULLABY OF BROADWAY

THE RUMBLE OF THE SUBWAY...

GEENA! GEENA, HOLD...

HOLD ON FOR A SECOND.

WHAT DID YOU SAY

YOUR NAME WAS AGAIN?

KIMBERLY DENISE JACKSON.

KIMBERLY.

YOU GOT A REAL PRETTY

VOICE, KIMBERLY.

THANK YOU.

DO YOU THINK THAT YOU

COULD SING ANY LOUDER?

MM-HMM.

OH, AND ONE OTHER THING.

CAN YOU TRY AND PRETEND

THAT, UM, SOMEWHERE

OUTSIDE OF THIS ROOM...

MM-HMM.

OUTSIDE THIS BUILD...

ACROSS THE STREET...

UH-HUH.

ACROSS THE OCEAN...

IN, IN RUSSIA, KIMBERLY,

THERE'S AN OLD GUY

WITH A CUP OF YOGURT,

AND HE'S SAYING,

ALL I WANT IS TO HEAR

KIMBERLY DENISE JACKSON

SING BEFORE I DIE."

CAN YOU DO THAT FOR

HIM, KIMBERLY?

CAN YOU SING FOR

HIM, KIMBERLY?

CAN YOU DO IT?

UH-HUH.

LET'S GIVE IT A TRY.

OKAY, GEENA. COME ON.

THROW YOURSELF INTO IT!

GET CRAZY!

GET LOUD!

A RUMBLE OF:

THE SUBWAY TRAIN

GOOD. A LITTLE BIT LOUDER.

THE RATTLE OF THE TAXIS

SING AS IF YOUR LIFE

DEPENDED ON IT.

THE DAFFODILS:

THAT ENTERTAIN:

SING AS IF MY LIFE

DEPENDED ON IT.

AT ANGELO AND MAXIE'S

WHEN THE BROADWAY BABY

SAYS GOOD NIGHT:

GOOD.

GREAT!

AND IT'S EARLY

IN THE MORNING:

MANHATTAN BABY:

DON'T SLEEP TIGHT

KIMBERLY, JUST LET IT GO.

UNTIL THE DAWN:

YES!

AND I HATE THIS SONG.

YES!

GOOD NIGHT OH, MY BABY

GOOD NIGHT:

ANG, WHAT A GREA BIRTHDAY PRESENT!

GIVE ME FIVE PERCENT,

AND WE'LL CALL IT EVEN.

GET A LIFE!

OH, LISTEN TO

ALL RIGHT, ALREADY.

LET'S SIGN THIS GIRL.

HE COMES CRAWLIN' BACK.

OHHH:

OF BROADWAY:

THE LULLABY OF BROADWAY

[cheering]

OH, SURE, SHE CAN CARRY A TUNE,

BUT LET'S NOT FORGET WHO PAYS

THE BILLS AROUND HERE, HUH.

DEATH!

YEAH!

GOTCHA!

["Life With Mikey Theme"]

[Shouting, Groaning]

IT'S LIFE WITH MIKEY

LIFE WITH MIKEY:

THROW ANOTHER ONE, ANGIE.

HE'S COMING, LOOK OU THERE'S TROUBLE IN STORE

NO DOUBT:

THAT'S LIFE WITH MIKEY

BATTEN DOWN THE HATCHES PU AWAY THE MATCHES

THE CAT'S IN THE DRYER

THE CAR'S SHORT A TIRE

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