Lifeboat Page #3

get a bit sunburned.

Then, of course, we had a good sound boat,

plenty of food and water. Everything intact.

- Well, haven't we plenty too?

- A good deal of our food's been ruined.

Three out of the four water breakers

have been smashed.

A lot of water leaked out of

the fourth one before it was taped.

What worries me is the compass.

Knocked to pieces.

That's a bit awkward.

And, of course, there's Jerry.

Ah, good morning, Mrs. Porter.

What's good about it?

How soon do we get picked up?

Good morning, Connie. We were discussing

that. It seems there's no way of telling.

- Did you sleep well?

- Not a wink.

Not only that, I froze.

Only had my fur coat to keep me... warm.

Where's Miss Higley?

I'm sorry, folks.

I'm terribly sorry.

It was pitch black

when I relieved you, Kovac.

I couldn't see a thing.

For all I know, it might have happened

during your watch.

- Eight biscuits.

- Minus eight biscuits.

Oh, thanks. Kovac.

How's the sail coming along?

- Coming along.

- Light, sir?

Uh, no, thanks. I think I'll hoard

this heater till we get someplace.

Well, folks, I've been taking inventory,

and we're in the black.

A going concern. It's no use

lying around waiting to be picked up.

As we might have to wait as long as,

uh... as 43 days.

So we might as well get organized. The first

order of business is department heads.

- Uh, Sparks?

- Yes, Mr. Rittenhouse.

- Call me Ritt. We're all in the same boat.

- Yes, sir. Ritt.

Sparks, you are, uh,

in charge of navigation.

- Aye, aye, sir.

- Uh, George?

Call meJoe.

- s your nameJoe?

- Yes, sir.

Very well. Joe it is.

You are head of the commissary.

- Yes, sir.

- Connie, will you keep the ship's log, please?

Righto, Ritto, providing I control

the copyright and all publication rights.

Including the Scandinavian.

Yes. Miss MacKenzie.

You are in charge of sick bay.

Don't look now, but

I think we have a skipper.

- Who elected Mr. Rittenhouse?

- Mr. Rittenhouse.

- Ritt, to you.

- You think he's capable?

Sure. Till the sail goes up.

We never should've

let him stay on board.

He'll eat our food, drink our water,

and double-cross us, first chance he gets.

What are you afraid of?

He's one against seven.

It was eight yesterday.

Or have you forgotten?

There's a piece in here...

about some people who were adrift

in a lifeboat for 80 days.

Say, maybe

we can beat that record.

Heaven forbid.

We might even get in the newsreels.

Rosie'd get a bang outta that.

It'd remind her of the first cup we won

at the Garden for marathon dancing.

- We danced 80 consecutive hours.

- Consecutive?

Well, 10 minutes off every four hours

for coffee, cake, stuff like that.

So how'd you feel

after 80 hours of dancing?

I had a slight headache,

but Rosie, she was just gettin' wound up.

She grabbed a cab,

went right over to Roseland.

- Does she work there?

- She lives there.

- How does the leg feel now?

- t don't feel at all.

I wish I could walk around. I sure hope

that thing don't leave me gimpy.

- Al'd love that.

- Who's Al?

Al Magaroulian.

He's an Armenian rug-cutter.

He knew Rosie before I did.

He's got fallen arches.

Keeps him outta the draft,

but not outta Roseland.

Kovac, you know something

about machinery, don't you?

- A little.

- See if you can fix this clasp.

Mrs. Porter, I've read a lot of your stuff.

You wanna know what's the matter with it?

No, do tell me.

You've been all over the world.

You've met all kinds of people.

But you never write about them,

you only write about yourself.

You think this whole war's a show put on

for you to cover, like a Broadway play.

And if enough people die before the last

act, maybe you might give it four stars.

- Come on, Sparks.

- All right, tovarich. Now, listen to me.

Heads up.! Joe, man the tiller

till we're squared away.!

Well, folks, we're under way.

- Where to?

- Huh?

- Where are we going?

- First operator said we were headed for Bermuda.

Well, good. Uh, Sparks,

you better take the tiller.

Yes, sir. Uh, what about the course?

Does anybody here know

the course to Bermuda?

I was at the wheel when we got punctured.

The course was 115 east-southeast.

Fine, then,

east-southeast it is.

Yes, sir. But, uh,

what is east-southeast?

- Without a compass...

- What's the matter with the sun?

With the sun this high, it's pretty hard

to tell the points of the compass.

I think it's out that way.

- You think?

- Doesn't anybody know?

He says east-southeast

is that direction.

- How's he know?

- Well, he ought to know.

His U-boat was operating

around here, wasn't it?

Do you suppose he'd lead us

to Bermuda, British territory?

He says he'd rather be a prisoner of war

in Bermuda than here.

At least he'd have

good food and a bed.

I wouldn't trust anything he says.

Kovac, you're so prejudiced

you can't think straight.

If anybody's in the position to know where

we are and where Bermuda is, he's the one.

- Who says so?

- We'll follow the German's course.

Who elected you skipper?

Well, l... Course, if there's anybody

else you'd prefer...

What do you

know about a ship?

He just happens to own

a shipyard, that's all.

- Has he ever been in it?

- He has thousands of employees.

Of course he knows

how to handle men.

Not in a lifeboat. What we need is

an able seaman, and we've got one.

Who, me?

I'm a disabled seaman.

Anyhow, I never did have

no executive ability.

- think maybe Sparks there...

- No, not me.

I know a bit about navigation, but when it

comes to taking charge of a boat, well...

What about Kovac?

That clunk run this boat?

With what? An oil can?

If you're talking about a skipper,

we have a skipper right on this boat.

- He wasn't the captain.

- Wasn't he?

- Herr Kapitn?

- Ja?

Well, I'm a monkey's uncle!

There. You have a man who's

familiar with these waters.

He knows seamanship and navigation.

What about it?

You want to turn the boat over to the man

who sunk our ship and shelled our lifeboats?

I want you to turn the boat over to the man

obviously best qualified to run it.

- You're crazy.

- Now, wait a minute.

There are two sides to everything.

Let's look at this calmly and reasonably.

The gentleman is just as anxious

to get to safety as we are.

If he's a trained skipper,

why shouldn't he take charge?

- Because I'm taking charge!

- Since when?

As of now, I'm skipper. Anybody who don't

like it can get out and swim to Bermuda.

I'll buy it.

Suits me.

What about you, miss?

I'm for it.

- Yes, sir.

- Well, if the rest agree...

All right, Commissar,

what's the course?

Well, we...

- Which way'd you say, Sparks?

- Out there.

Nein, nein.

He says if you go your way,

you'll only head further out to sea.

He insists the course

to Bermuda is that way.

- We'll head this way. Take the tiller, Sparks.

- Aye, aye, sir.

Careful.

Including the Scandinavian.

- How do you feel now, Connie?

- Awful.

It isn't the sea that makes me sick,

it's the loss of my typewriter.

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