Lisa

( tape rewinding )

( beep )

Woman:

Mary? Marsha.

Private sale at Maxfield's

on Saturday.

Doors open at nine.

Bring plastic. Bye.

( beep )

Man:

Hi, beautiful, it's Andy.

Don't worry,

I'm not canceling.

I just, uh,

want to ask you something.

Actually, I just want

to talk to you.

As a matter of fact,

I love talking to you

and seeing you and...

call me.

( beep )

Man:

Hi, Mary.

This is Richard.

I'm in your apartment...

and I'm going to kill you.

I LOVE YOU.

( gasping )

( bell rings )

READY?

I'M READY.

THE QUESTION IS --

IS MR. WONDERFUL READY?

LOOK WHAT I DID -- TOM AND ME

ON OUR DATE LAST NIGHT.

SO YOU LET HIM:

GET TO FIRST BASE, HUH?

DID HE USE HIS TONGUE?

C'MON. WE GOTTA

MOVE OUR BUTTS.

I GOTTA BABY-SIT.

Girl:
HURRY UP

AND CLOSE THE DOOR,

SOMEBODY.

WHY?

WHOA! RAD SHOES!

THEY'RE MY MOM'S.

I CAN'T BELIEVE

SHE LETS YOU:

BORROW HER STUFF.

WHY NOT? SHE ALWAYS

BORROWS MY CLOTHES.

CAN YOU IMAGINE MY MOTHER

BORROWING MY STUFF?

YOUR MOM LOOKS LIKE WHAT A MOM

IS SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE.

Girl:

GOD, HOW CAN YOU GUYS EVEN READ

ABOUT THE CANDLELIGHT KILLER?

DID YOU BRING THE FILM

THIS TIME?

YEAH, BUT ARE YOU SURE

HE'LL BE THERE?

I GOTTA BE HOME BY FOUR.

YOU'LL GET HOME IN TIME.

WE WERE TOO LATE YESTERDAY.

THAT'S WHY WE MISSED HIM.

WEND, YOU'RE LOPSIDED.

( engine roars )

Woman:
STOP!!!

( tires screech )

LOOK!

I GOT IT! COME ON!

WHA--

WHAT, ARE YOU GUYS CRAZY?

HEY!

( phone rings )

GOOD AFTERNOON,

DESIGNS BY KATHERINE.

HI, SARAH.

OH, HI, LIS'!

YOUR MOM:

JUST STEPPED OUT.

HOW'D YOUR DATE

GO LAST NIGHT?

( mirthless chuckle )

NOT MY TYPE.

NICE, THOUGH.

A HANDSOME HUNK OF A MAN, TOO.

IT JUST DIDN'T CLICK.

YOU SHOULD PASS HIM ON

TO MY MOM.

YEAH, THAT'LL BE THE DAY.

SO WHO ARE YOU:

IN LOVE WITH THIS WEEK?

OH, I DON'T KNOW.

MAYBE GEORGE MICHAEL.

BEYOND CUTE, HUH?

( giggling:
)

YEAH, YOU BETTER WATCH OU FOR THOSE GUYS

WHO BLEACH THEIR HAIR

AND WEAR EARRINGS.

HE DOES NOT BLEACH HIS HAIR.

HA HA HA!

I WISH YOU TWO MY BEST.

LOOK, I'D BETTER GO.

COULD YOU TELL MY MOM

THAT I WAS HOME,

I PICKED UP THE DRY CLEANING,

AND I'M GOING OVER TO WENDY'S?

MMM, CHECK-IN NOTED.

I'LL TALK TO YOU

TOMORROW, KIDDO.

OKAY? BYE-BYE.

HI, GUY,

WHAT'S UP?

OH, YOU JUS MISSED LISA.

I SWEAR, THAT LITTLE GIRL

IS GONNA BREAK SOME HEARTS.

WHAT'D SHE SAY?

OH, SHE'S GOT A NEW GUY.

A BOY AT SCHOOL?

HA HA! NO.

GEORGE MICHAEL.

HA HA HA!

OH, STOP LOOKING SO WORRIED.

SHE'S JUST A KID.

( buzzer )

( door opens )

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

RALPH, TELL WENDY I'M HERE.

WENDY'S NOT HERE.

SHE'S DEAD.

I KILLED HER.

( scary voice:
)

I'M THE CANDLELIGHT KILLER.

WENDY!

Wendy:
RALPH,

GET OUT OF HERE!

COME ON! I JUST GOT THE NUMBER

OF THE DMV IN CULVER CITY.

WE HAVEN'T USED THEM YET.

( both giggle )

( intercom buzzes )

ADAMS. VEHICLE I.D.

( sexy voice :
)

HELLO, IS THIS THE SUPERVISOR?

YES, MA'AM.

WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?

I'VE SPOKEN

TO SEVERAL PEOPLE

WHO WORK UNDER YOU,

AND THEY'VE ALL SAID

THAT THEY DIDN' HAVE THE AUTHORITY

TO HELP ME OUT.

THAT'S WHY I'VE ASKED TO SPEAK

TO SOMEONE OF YOUR STATURE.

THAT'S USUALLY

THE CASE, MA'AM.

WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?

WELL, YOU SEE,

SOMEBODY HIT MY CAR

WHILE IT WAS PARKED.

HIT AND RUN'S

A POLICE MATTER,

DOESN'T COME UNDER

THIS DEPARTMENT.

OH, NO, NO.

IT WASN'T HIT AND RUN.

THE GENTLEMEN WHO DID I WAS VERY CONSIDERATE,

AND HE LEFT ME A NOTE

WITH HIS NAME,

TELEPHONE NUMBER,

AND A SWEET APOLOGY.

BUT GUESS WHAT?

I LOST THE NOTE.

I, UH, I DON'T SEE HOW

I CAN HELP YOU.

WELL, THE ONE THING I DO --

EXCUSE ME?

YOU LITTLE BRAT!

GET OUT OF HERE!

ARE YOU STILL THERE?

GET OUTTA HERE!

UH, YES, YES.

THAT WAS --

THAT WAS MY SECRETARY.

UM, AS I WAS SAYING,

THE ONE THING:

I DO REMEMBER FROM THE NOTE

WAS THE LICENSE PLATE NUMBER.

IT WAS ONE OF THOSE

PERSONALIZED PLATES.

IT WAS "WANT MORE."

COULD YOU PLEASE

RUN THAT FOR ME?

"W-N-T M-O-R-E."

( whispers:
)

Does he have it?

( taps keyboard )

I'M SORRY, I CAN'T DO THAT.

I SUGGEST YOU:

CALL THE POLICE.

OKAY. MR. ADAMS,

LET ME BE:

REALLY HONEST WITH YOU --

I HAVEN'T TOLD YOU

THE WHOLE STORY.

IT WASN'T MY CAR.

IT WAS MY FRIEND'S CAR.

I BORROWED IT,

AND WHEN SHE SEES HER CAR

AND SHE SEES THIS DENT,

IT'LL BE LIKE...

LIKE A DEATH IN THE FAMILY.

HA HA HA HA!

OHH, YOU KNOW, I WOULD REALLY

LIKE TO HELP YOU OUT, BUT --

MR. ADAMS,

I UNDERSTAND THE PRESSURES

ON A MAN IN YOUR POSITION,

BUT NO ONE WILL:

EVER HAVE TO KNOW.

IF I HADN'T LOST THE NOTE,

I NEVER WOULD HAVE

HAD TO CALL YOU.

UH...

( tapping keyboard )

ALL RIGHT.

THANK YOU, MR. ADAMS.

YOU REALLY:

MADE MY DAY.

( both shriek with delight )

THANK YOU, MAGNUM P.I.

AND MY PARENTS SAY

WE DON'T LEARN ANYTHING FROM TV.

YOU KNOW, LISA,

WE COULD TOTALLY

BE PRIVATE EYES:

IF WE WANTED TO.

SO WHAT'S

MY STUD MUFFIN'S NAME?

ROBERT TRAVIS.

CALL HIM.

NO. YOU CALL HIM.

NO WAY, LISA.

I MEAN, YOU SOUND

JUST LIKE YOUR MOM.

I SOUND LIKE A KID.

( phone rings )

HELLO?

OH, HI.

UM, HOW'D YOU GET MY NUMBER?

( whispers )

FRIDAY NIGHT?

YEAH.

YEAH, SURE,

THAT SOUNDS FUN.

LISA?

ERIC WANTS TO:

GO OUT WITH LISA?

( whispering )

UM, WELL...

I'LL-I'LL TALK TO HER.

OKAY?

OKAY.

CALL ME BACK. BYE.

OH, MY GOD, LISA!

THIS IS SO UNBELIEVABLE!

I CANNOT BELIEVE IT.

THAT WAS NICK RIVALDI CALLING.

HE CALLED TO ASK ME OUT!

HE ASKED ME OUT,

I HAVE MY FIRST DATE!

AND ERIC WANTS TO

GO OUT WITH YOU, TOO,

WHICH MEANS WE CAN DOUBLE!

THIS IS SO EXCITING!

YEAH,

JUST MAKE THE PLANS

FOR TWO YEARS:

FROM FRIDAY NIGHT.

YOU DON'T HAVE

TO TELL YOUR MOM.

YOU COULD JUST TELL HER

YOU WERE COMING OVER HERE

TO SPEND THE NIGHT.

YEAH, AND THEN

SHE TALKS TO YOUR MOM

AND I'M DEAD.

BESIDES,

I CAN'T LIE TO HER.

WE TELL EACH OTHER EVERYTHING.

YOU DON'T TELL HER

ABOUT THE SCRAPBOOK

AND FOLLOWING GUYS.

SHE DOESN'T HAVE

TO KNOW ABOUT THAT.

THAT'S NOT FOR REAL.

LISA, COME ON.

I CANNOT BELIEVE

YOUR MOTHER'S REALLY SERIOUS

ABOUT THE SIXTEEN THING.

SHE'S SO COOL

ABOUT EVERYTHING ELSE.

SHE LETS YOU SWEAR,

WEAR HER CLOTHES --

SHE TREATS YOU:

LIKE A BEST FRIEND.

LISA, YOU REALLY

GOTTA DEAL WITH HER.

BECAUSE IF YOU HAVE TO WAI TILL YOUR SIXTEEN TO DATE,

EVERYBODY'S GONNA

THINK YOU'RE WEIRD.

( crying softly )

( dog barks in distance )

HI, GUY, I'M HOME!

UH-OH, A LOCKED DOOR.

LET'S SEE,

IT'S NOT REPORT CARD TIME...

GEORGE MICHAEL:

DIDN'T GET MARRIED, DID HE?

HONEY?

UH-OH.

SERIOUS, HUH?

WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT?

NO?

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.

WHY DON'T YOU AND I

MAKE SOME DINNER?

AND I'LL LET YOU

PEEL THE ONIONS:

SINCE YOUR EYES:

ARE ALREADY RED.

OKAY?

( sighs )

( onions sizzle )

Katherine:

...ONLY I DON'T KNOW

WHO THE HELL:

I'M TALKIN' TO, RIGHT?

SO HE SAID, "YOU DON' REMEMBER ME, DO YA?"

WHAT'D YOU SAY?

I SAID, "UH, WELL,

"I'M NOT SURE."

AND HE SAID, "WHAT,

THERE'S SO MANY MEN

"IN YOUR LIFE

YOU CAN'T REMEMBER ME?"

NOW I'M GETTING ANGRY.

BUT I DON'T WANT TO INSULT HIM

IN CASE HE'S A CUSTOMER.

SO HE SAYS, "WELL,

IF YOU DON'T REMEMBER ME,

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