Little Man Tate Page #5

- You need a belt, kid. - No, I don't. I just need to tuck in my shirt.

You need a belt.

Hey, how about if we just say "See ya tomorrow" instead of "goodbye"?

If you send me the chequebook, I'll balance it for you.

I think I can take care of that, Freddie.

Who's gonna water the plants?

Hey, forget about the plants, OK?

Forget about the chequebook.

You're gonna have a great time.

So are you.

Every day that I know you, I...

I admire you a little bit more every day.

Every day I say to myself...

...this little kid is exactly the kind of person I wanna be.

I mean, let's face it.

You're the best thing that ever happened to me.

So don't worry so much. OK?

Hey, love you big.

Go get your bag.

Dede, I know this must be difficult for you.

You might wanna keep an extra telephone around.

- Excuse me? - He likes to take 'em apart, you know.

Sometimes, uh... sometimes...

I understand.

Listen to me, Jane.

If anything happens to him, anything at all...

...l'll kill you.

Now, I don't mean that I'll just hurt you.

I mean that I'll kill you.

Hey. Give you a call from Orlando, OK? Hear all about your first day.

Bye, sweetie.

Hands on noses, guys.

See you tomorrow.

See you tomorrow.

Now, Fred. These chores are your responsibilities.

And for every week that you do them correctly...

...we'll do something fun like go to the symphony, or rent a nice documentary.

These are soup bowls. These are not.

These are my glasses and these are your glasses.

These are your pens and your pencils.

And, Fred, these are my pens and my pencils.

It's not your mother's fault.

Most parents are ignorant to the benefits of macrobiotics.

If your mother had put you on a diet like this sooner...

...you might never have gotten an ulcer.

- Can I have a Coke? - Absolutely not.

- Sorry. - That's all right.

Everything that comes from the body is natural.

- Now can I have a Coke? - In the fridge.

Fred, I'll meet you outside on the steps right after class.

- All right? - Mm.

Good luck.

Come on. Let's sit you down in the front.

Would you mind sitting over there, please?

All right. Let's all calm down and shut up...

...so we can start getting Dad's money's worth.

Now, for those of you who may be lost...

...the name of this class is Phys .

Quantum physics. Not physical education.

All right. Everybody in the right place?

Goddamn college kids.

Morning.

Used to be young people respected other people's property. You could trust 'em.

Now, they come down here on vacation and they trash the place.

What do they care? It's not their house. Damn brats.

Then on top of that I got five undercover ABC guys circulating.

- The network? - Alcoholic Beverage Control, Gina.

Half my clientele on this particular evening is underage.

How am I supposed to know this?

Anyway... my liquor licence is now toilet paper.

Wait a second. You sayin' you're not gonna do the show?

Don't tell me we came all the way down here for nothin'.

Oh, boy.

You two got any waitressing experience?

- Come on! - Don't dive in the shallow end!

- At least they got water in the pool. - I could murder you.

- He said it's temporary. - He said his lawyers were working on it.

We can still make a vacation of it.

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade.

Hey, this ain't lemons, Gina. This is dog sh*t.

I mean, if I wanted to wait tables, I coulda stayed in the city.

Did you lose your mommy, sweetie?

Yo, kid! A little help with the Frisbee, huh?

- Whoa! Watch it, kid. - Sorry.

I have . Now, come on, people. Do I hear ?

- Come on, people. This is for charity. - .

All right, I have . Do I hear ?

I said you racist frat-head.

Come on, mister. This is for charity.

What charity's that? The Inter-Geek Recreation Center?

That should change a few lives. Get outta my face, you jughead.

Hey, wait a minute.

Heads!

Excuse me, fellas.

- Eddie, you killed him. - I wasn't even aimin' for him.

- Besides, what's a kid doin' out here? - He's not a kid!

Get away from him.

Oh, God. Not again.

Fred! Fred?

Oh, Fred.

- This is called a sphygmomanometer. - It is?

- Hello. - Hey, Jane. Let me talk to Fred.

Dede. How are you?

Just peachy. Now where's Fred, huh?

- How many fingers? - Two.

- He can't talk right now. - How come?

- He's taking a nap. - So wake him up.

- I wanna hear about his first day. - He's very tired, Dede.

Cut the sh*t, Jane. Put the kid on the goddamn phone.

Here he is.

Now, Fred. You don't wanna get your mother all upset over nothing. Hm?

OK.

Hi, Dede.

Jane was late picking me up and I got hit on the head with a globe.

How's Florida?

Bicycle! Ohh!

The spin angular momentum of the beta particle of one half...

...must be balanced by a particle having a spin angular...

He's studying real hard.

He must be all of ten.

Yo, Muffy! What the hell you lookin' at? Get outta here, you punk.

Hey, how's your head?

Remember me?

I'm the guy that took your lights out the other day.

Well, look. I brought you a present.

Ta-da! Remember this? It's got a little blood on it, right there on El Salvador.

I think that's pretty cool.

- It's for you. I brought it for you. - Thanks.

You're welcome. My name's Eddie.

- Fred. - Nice to meet you, Fred.

- What's your major? - What's my major?

Damn! Who you been hanging out with?

Jane. What's your major?

Well, let's see. Russian Lit. Afro-Am. Poly Sci.

French. Swahili. Ooglie booglie.

Toilet trainin'. Eatin' dirt. Nose-pickin'. One of those. I dunno.

- So who's Jane? That your girlfriend? - The lady I live with.

Say, what are you doing this afternoon?

Just bringing in the mail.

Ooo-wee! That was swingin'! Was that swingin' or what?

We're gonna go on the road together.

But I can't play the classical stuff. You have to handle that.

You know what the funniest thing about Mozart was? His hair.

I'd say to Mozart "That's the ugliest hairdo I've seen".

I think Mozart should have a big Afro or a Mohawk, or a something.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Swing along!

Yeah, man.

Swing it.

Well?

Looks good.

It's funny, Garth.

I'm experiencing a whole new side of me I've never felt before.

It's just a meat loaf, Jane.

Rate this script:3.0 / 2 votes