Little Saigon Page #2

---

you in my conference room.

Get this a**hole.

What is this, Mackie, some kinda joke?

Hey, don't act like you've never been

in one of these before.

Okay, out with it!

Okay, look, last night

I was with an employee.

The sidekick?

Who says cops can't be funny?

No, Mindy.

The receptionist?

Yeah.

Well, she's not just a receptionist.

She's also heading my

immigration division as well.

But listen, I don't want people

to know about this, okay.

It's a little office romance.

So that's, uh, I don't want it to get out.

Well, then, we need to

talk to her, then, Mackie.

Fine.

Mindy, can you come in

here a second please?

Now, when she gets here,

you let us do all the talking.

Got it.

Hi, Mindy.

[Mindy] Hi.

Um, listen, these, uh, detectives

would like to ask you a

couple of questions, okay?

- Okay.

- 'Kay.

You mind tellin' us your whereabouts

between about midnight and 4:00 a.m.?

I was at my home, at my

apartment in Garden Grove.

Did you have any company?

Yes.

Who?

Jack.

I don't get it.

Why did you need Mindy to

give you a phony alibi?

Because I didn't want the

cops to know where I really was.

And where were you?

I was home alone.

But if those cops thought

I couldn't back up my alibi

they could make my life a livin' hell.

You know I've been down that road before.

I was involved in a real

estate con once in Miami.

I lost my license.

I mean, I was innocent,

of course, you know,

but I lost it anyway.

It was just a real unjust thing.

That's what I like about you, Jack.

You're always one step ahead.

Yeah, that's what I like

about myself too, you know?

Can we, can we, ma'am?

Excuse me, can we get a little service?

Please, please.

Thank you.

You know, you got a good

head on your shoulders, Tuan.

Thanks, Jack.

I think it's time that maybe you took on

even greater responsibilities

at Jack Mackie Real Estate.

Really?

Man, that, that's great.

What do you have in mind for me?

Well, lately I've been

checking out obituaries

of prominent people and

going to their funerals.

I pretend I knew the dead guy.

It's a great way to network.

I don't get it.

If the guy's already dead,

isn't it already too late to network?

No, no, no, no, on.

It's the best possible time.

See, chances are the guy's old lady

is thinkin' about sellin'

the big empty house

and movin' to some retirement community.

And who better to get the listing

than the dead guy's

old buddy, Jack Mackie?

(chuckles) That's like scary good.

Oh, yeah.

Has it paid off yet?

Sure, I got a listing this morning.

You got a listing the

same day as the funeral?

Sure.

Well, I mean I had to

do a little extra, uh,

shall we say, schmoozin'. (laughs)

- Brilliant.

- But, yeah, yeah.

[Woman] Drop your pants.

What?

Grief makes a person very horny.

It's a medical fact.

Now do you want that listing

or don't you?

You know at my real estate

office I advertise free donuts.

Well, somebody's gotta

pay for those damn donuts.

And now I think it's time

to start doing Vietnamese funerals.

I guess this is where I come in.

Bingo.

You still speak Vietnamese, right?

I mean I've heard you speak some of it.

Yeah, sure, well, conversational.

Yeah, what are you, like, what, half?

Yeah.

Yeah, but the half that

you are can speak it?

Sure.

Really?

Well, good, now order

us some food, will ya?

So now what do we do?

Well, we just follow the

procession, see where they go.

Hey, give me that guy's

background information again, will ya?

Dr. Quan Le, military doctor,

captain in the South Vietnamese Army.

Left Saigon when it fell in '75.

And how did he die?

He was murdered in his hair salon.

Oh, yeah, I heard about that guy.

It was in our building on the first floor,

that real expensive-lookin' salon.

That's why I never went in there.

Probably got killed by

an angry customer, man.

Probably charged too much.

Man, that sucks.

The guy's a doctor and an officer,

survives a war, and

winds up getting killed

in a hair salon that's 10,000 miles away.

(chuckles) Well, you know what, Tuan,

life is full of ironics.

(somber music)

(speaking Vietnamese)

Um.

Hey, well, hey, hey, excuse me, everybody.

Hello, hello, excuse me, excuse me.

Hi, I'm Jack Mackie.

I know most of you don't know me,

but I'm from Jack Mackie Real Estate.

I wanna tell a story

about Dr. Le, if I may.

When I was over in Vietnam

for my tour of duty in '73,

I was out at an outdoor cafe one day,

drinking some beer with

some friends of mine, right?

And just then a little

kid comes by on a bicycle,

throws a hand grenade at us.

Well, sad to say, my buddies got killed.

Me, I took a hunk o' shrapnel

right here in the gut.

I was bleeding real, real heavy.

I was gonna die.

But, luckily a doctor came by.

He stopped the bleeding

and took me to a hospital.

Guess who the doctor was.

Anybody?

You don't know?

It was Dr. Quan Le.

How about that, huh?

Hmm.

And I always wondered

what happened to him

and little did I know that not only

did we wind up living in the same town,

but we were working in the same building

over at Bolsa and Magnolia.

He has his hair salon on the first floor,

I got Jack Mackie Real Estate

and Immigration Services

on the third floor.

Free donuts, by the way.

But anyway the point is I

lost two buddies that day,

but I gained a new buddy.

He was the, the kind of buddy

that can save your life,

and to me that's the best

buddy of all, right? (crying)

Come on.

Oh, god, Dr. Le.

He saved my life, man, I mean,

how do you repay something like that?

Can ya?

I don't think ya can.

I was very touched by what

you had to say about my father.

Oh, you know what, well,

I was very touched that he saved my life.

I would like to get to know you better.

But I have had a difficult time

finding someone I can trust.

Well, you can trust me.

But now is not a proper

time to talk business.

Well, no, of course not.

We're at a funeral, right?

So, listen, I'll tell you what,

I have some cards here.

Here, this one, oh, this one's a good one.

It's magnetic.

All right?

Come by my office tomorrow

and we'll talk then.

All right?

(chuckling) Uh-huh.

Hey, Tuan, I'm sorry, excuse me.

Tuan, you ready to go?

Oh, uh, Jack, this is General Luc Do.

Hi, General, hey, listen,

I love that uniform.

Mr. Mackie.

Yeah.

I'm fascinated by your story.

I would welcome the

opportunity to hear more

about your experiences in Vietnam.

Oh, oh, yeah, listen,

about that, you know,

I try not to relive the past, General.

I mean it brings back a lot

of painful memories, you know?

Nightmare stuff.

I'm sure you understand right?

- Nevertheless.

- Uh-huh.

I would like to extend an invitation

to you and Tuan as

guests at my restaurant.

Okay, well, Tuan, huh...

Tomorrow night.

Tomorrow night, okay.

Uh, Tuan, uh, you, you wanna go?

Uh, I would be honored.

He never turns down free food.

- Wonderful.

- Yeah.

Trippy dude.

Hm, maybe so, but

you're in luck, though.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes