Little Saigon Page #5

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stupid stuff about private detectives for?

I thought it would impress them.

Ah, it just sounds phony.

Yeah, they were real impressed.

They couldn't wait to get outta here.

Well, we're probably better off.

I think they're in a gang.

Jade had a BLB tattooed on her ankle.

Oh, what's BLB?

I'm not sure, but I think it's a gang.

Everybody's got tattoos nowadays.

Let's go.

Gentlemen, you must not leave just yet.

(upbeat music)

Miss Le have a surprise for you.

That guy's startin' to freak me out.

(singing in Vietnamese)

Hey, Jack Mackie Real Estate.

No money down, no money down.

Buy cheap real estate, no money down.

Bring relatives over,

I do immigration, too.

Bring all your relatives over.

Thank you, no money down, no money down.

(applauding)

Oh, beautiful.

- That was amazing, amazing.

- Hello.

Tuan, would you and Jack like

to come over for dessert?

I have mooncake.

Mooncakes?

I love mooncakes, sure, we'd love to.

Yeah, are you kidding?

- Yes.

- Yes?

Yes, I love mooncakes.

I hate mooncakes.

Hey, this mooncake is delicious.

I mean, I don't know how you get

those little shark fins inside,

but it really, it really works.

- I agree.

- Mm.

Thank you, gentlemen.

Excuse me, but I made them.

Oh, okay.

Oh, I'm sorry, Thi.

Uh, yes, that was excellent, thank you.

Listen, I hate to interrupt

but our new commercial's gonna

air in about two minutes.

[Kinh] Oh, how excited!

You're gonna be very impressed.

Come on, let's go watch it, all right?

- Awesome.

- Okay?

- Let's go, Thi.

- Come on, Thi.

Hey, Thi, bring the wine, will ya?

Thi, you comin' or not?

Hey, Thi, where's the wine?

Never mind, never mind.

Here we go, here we go, here we go.

Here we go.

Everybody shh, shh, shh.

Hi, I'm Jack Mackie,

owner of Jack Mackie Real

Estate and Immigration Services.

No credit, no job, no

money, no down payment?

Who cares?

It's not a problem.

Give my staff and myself the opportunity

to put you into a lovely home.

Now what do you think about that?

That makes me very happy.

I just wish I knew how to get

my parents here from Vietnam

to live with me in my new home

that I will buy with no money.

Tuan, you wanna tell her, or should I?

I'll handle this one, Jack.

We're also an immigration service.

We can help get your

parents to this country.

Wow, that makes me very glad.

[Jack And Tuan] We're glad, too.

Huh, what do you think?

Do you want to know what I think?

Not really, no.

I think it's kinda cheesy.

Do you mind telling me

why you dislike me so much?

Same reason I don't

like your commercial.

You're cheesy.

[Kinh] Thi, (speaking Vietnamese).

(Thi speaking Vietnamese)

You told her off,

that's good, good for you.

I mean I, I don't know

what you said to her,

but, uh, you know, it's all

gibberish to me, you know that.

But it sounds like you really

told her off, so thank you.

I apologize, Jack.

No, it's okay, that's all right.

But you know what, it just drives me nuts,

I mean, what her problem is.

I mean, what, I don't know what I'm doing

to make her hate me so much.

It's not your fault.

She just doesn't like white people.

(chuckles) Really?

Well, why not?

She was raised in a

number of foster home

and most of her foster parent was white.

They only wanted her as long as

they was gettin' paid by the state.

Oh, wow.

Well, I can see why she's so pissed off.

You know, I think if she

would just take the time

to get to know me, I mean,

I, I think she'd like me.

I don't think so.

Don't underestimate me.

I try not to.

(Thi chuckles)

I liked Kinh's song.

Really, you did?

You know, she's my cousin,

and of course I love her,

but sometimes I think she tries too hard

to draw attention to herself.

It always has to be about

her, you know what I mean?

Oh, that's okay, uh,

that doesn't bother me.

I work with a guy like that.

Why do you waste your time with him?

Waste my time?

Look, Thi, when I met Jack,

I was working in a sandwich shop.

He's done okay by me.

He uses you.

You're his inroad into

the Vietnamese community.

So what?

It's all about business.

Do you know what people

are calling you guys?

People, what people?

[Thi] Vietnamese people.

What?

Egg and banana.

Egg and banana, I don't get it.

He's egg, white on the

outside, yellow on the inside.

(sighs) I guess that

makes me the banana?

I'm not saying it to hurt your feelings.

I just thought you should know.

(scoffs) It doesn't hurt my feelings.

Really?

'Cause I know something like that

would bug the sh*t outta me.

Is that what you think of me?

That I'm a banana?

No, I'm just telling you

what other people are saying.

I think you're kind of cool and cute.

What's wrong?

It's nothing.

Well...

Well, what?

Do you like Kinh?

Well, you don't.

She's boring and conservative

and I'm just the opposite.

Jack, I want to ask you something

that is very difficult for me.

Well, sure, what is it?

Does Tuan have a girlfriend?

Oh, you like Tuan, huh?

No, no, he doesn't have a girlfriend.

Oh.

You should tell him how you feel.

Oh, no, I'm much too shy.

You want me to tell him for you?

No, please don't, I

would be too embarrassed.

Well, I wouldn't wait

around for too long.

I think, uh, Thi likes him, too.

(suspenseful music)

Excuse me, Jack.

(grunts)

Oh!

(upbeat instrumental music)

(speaking Vietnamese)

(grunting)

Oh, man.

You guys okay?

You all right?

[Tuan] Oh.

Tuan, man, get up, get up, get up.

- Ah.

- We gotta call the police.

No, no police!

We don't trust the police.

Oh, yeah, right, I

forgot all about that.

Vietnamese don't trust the police

or keep their money in banks.

Well you see where that got ya.

Kinh, Jack's right, we

really should call the police.

No, they will come back and seek revenge

if we call the police!

So we do nothing?

You untie 'em.

- Huh?

- Oh.

(speaking Vietnamese)

(dramatic music)

Now we should get the gun.

- Oh.

- Mm-hmm.

Find out who to murder.

I'm sure ready.

What is she doing here?

Oh, that's right, you two haven't met.

I would've introduced you last night

but that would have been a little awkward.

So why is she part of

the family all of a sudden?

Just so we're clear, she's BLB.

I recruited her from that TV judge job.

[Thi] What?

She was on a show and

wound up going home with him.

I found her in the bathroom

after I wasted the judge.

So instead of killing her,

you offered her the

chance to join the family?

Enough, Thi.

Like Kim said, she is BLB.

Is she even Vietnamese?

I'm as Vietnamese as you are, b*tch.

Enough!

(speaking Vietnamese)

Anyway, I didn't like what

all went down at Kinh's house.

What are you talking about?

It went smooth.

Clockwork, baby.

What didn't you like, Thi?

They came in, went

straight to the bedroom

where the safe was.

Obviously they had inside information

and that could put pressure on me.

Is that right, Kim?

We didn't want to use our voices

because we didn't want to let

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