Little Sister

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1

Lettuce, tomato, onion.

Uh, pickles.

And tzatziki sauce.

Oh, and, uh,

a little hot sauce, too.

Hot sauce, okay.

Hi.

Thank you, ma'am.

You're welcome. God bless.

Hi!

Hey, lady.

"O god, why do you

cast us off forever?

Why does your anger smoke

against

the sheep of your pasture?

Remember your congregation,

which you acquired long ago,

which you redeemed to be

the tribe of your heritage."

Can I just...

Sisters of mercy.

Who? Colleen?

No, we don't have

any sisters named that.

No, ma'am, I don't know.

Do you know which order?

Oh, yeah, then I

definitely don't know.

There are so many.

I'm sorry.

Oh, that's okay.

Hope you find her.

God bless.

I think the people understand.

I'm a war president.

I hear the voices,

and I read the front page,

and I know the speculation,

but I'm the decider.

But I'm the decider.

And I ask you whether you

recall the title of that PDB.

I believe the title was

bin laden determined to attack

inside the United States.

You know that, that old

beach boys song Barbara Ann?

We're going to do

what we have to do

to protect

the United States of America.

The message

of these brave men and women

who are serving over there

is "let us win."

And night fell

on a different world,

on a world where freedom itself

is under attack.

Sorry.

You're Debbie's friend.

Yeah.

You're the nun.

Um, yeah...

So, you, like, devoted your life

to Christ and everything?

You did.

I thought the show

was really creative.

Thank you. That's all right.

I don't want to mess with you.

It's just I've never

seen one before.

I've never seen

a real live nun before.

It's okay.

Sorry.

Do you wanna do

some blow with us?

Oh, I can't.

Sorry. Thanks.

I have no idea

how you would get, like,

I don't know, like a record deal

or a record company

or any of that, but...

I just think like,

you're so talented,

and, and if you can,

then, and if you'd like to,

then you should,

you should share

your gift with the world.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Just that's what my parents

always told me.

The next

Manhattan-bound l train

will depart

in approximately 37 minutes.

Sorry.

Do you remember

what I said to you

when you first joined our order,

Joan of arc?

Mm-hmm.

Do you think I was right?

No.

You think I was wrong.

I'm sorry.

You're very close

to your first vows,

and I'm having trouble believing

that you're really devoted...

I am devoted.

Sorry.

I don't want you

to not have fun.

You're young.

You should have fun.

But if this community

isn't offering you

enough fun already...

What's wrong?

Hey.

I like your sunglasses.

Thanks.

You want to borrow my car,

don't you?

For how long?

Um, I don't know.

Three or four days.

You must tell me a number

and stick with it.

It took god six days

to create the universe.

You should be able to get

your act together in five.

Okay.

Okay, five days.

Use the time wisely, sister.

Hello?

Jacob?

Hello?

Starlings are

medium-sized passerines.

The shortest-bodied species

is Kenrick's starling,

but the lightest-weight species

is Abbott's starling

holy cow.

Hi, dad.

You look great.

You smell a little weird.

You smell like always.

Oh, Chiclet!

The more things change, huh?

Hi!

Joani!

I'm getting the bags!

Joani, get in here, now!

Hi, mom.

Oh!

Oh, sweet pea.

Oh, you're home.

Oh, you're home!

Sweet pea!

- Mmm!

- Oh!

Look what the cat dragged in.

Hey, Colleen.

Hey, Tricia.

Did you, did you get my emails?

Uh, yeah.

Yeah?

Um, I'm on, um, medicine now.

Did you know that?

That's good, mom.

Yeah.

I'm so happy you're home.

Did you see your brother?

Did you say hi?

I didn't know

he was home until...

Oh, I'm going to go,

I'm going to go get him.

No, you don't have to do that.

Yes, I'm going to go get him.

Mom!

Mom!

Hey, want to see something cool?

Hey, come on.

Are you looking for a band

for your wedding, birthday,

or corporate event?

Pro-star entertainment

has a wide variety of musicians

for your every need.

From smooth jazz

to classic rock,

country, calypso, and beyond.

Our professional attitude...

Oh, wow.

What?

Pretty neat, right?

Give pro-star entertainment

a call today at pro-star.

That was really something.

I hope you're still hungry

for dinner.

The latest polls

show a majority of Americans

think Democratic senator

Joe Biden

won last night's

vice presidential debate.

So, you really stuck

with that vegetarian thing, huh?

Yep.

When you were little,

all you wanted were nuggets.

Chicken nuggets.

"Papa" nuggets, remember?

Big ol' papa nugget.

Oh, man, this

really hits the spot.

Is anybody going to get that?

They wanna put your brother

on CNN.

Colleen?

Colleen.

Yeah?

Your mom and I

are dropping Tricia off

and heading into the office.

Are you going to be okay here

by yourself?

Uh, yeah.

Hey, give your brother

some space, okay?

Okay.

We love you, mama and papa!

We think that you're

the bee's knees!

We're happy you got married

and gave birth

to Colleen and me.

You help us with our homework.

You take us to the zoo.

And that's why

on this special day,

we're saying

happy anniversary to you!

We know you'll never leave us,

and we swear

on the stars above...

To be good for you forever

and give you all our love!

Welcome wagon!

Happy anniversary!

Uh, hey, there.

Is Jacob home?

Uh, I don't think he's taking

any visitors right now.

Wait a second.

Shoot. Colleen?

Yeah.

Look at you, girl, all grown up!

Like a, like a librarian

or something.

I barely recognized you

without all the, uh, the,

you know, the Marilyn Manson

stuff on your face.

It's like the ugly duckling has

turned into a beautiful swan.

So, uh, we should come back

a little later, then?

Jacob?

Who is it?

Uh...

It's your sister.

Welcome home.

Thanks.

You look different.

Is it okay to hug you?

Sure.

I'm sorry.

Don't worry about it.

I love you.

Do you wanna hang out?

Not really.

Emily.

Oh, my god. Colleen!

You should tell me

when you're back in town!

Well, it's an unexpected visit.

Oh, my god!

You're, like, a real nun now.

Almost.

Everybody's talking

about your brother.

His whole face, huh?

Mm-hmm.

I'm so sorry.

I had such a crush on him

in high school.

I was at my parents'

vacation house,

but they didn't actually say

I could be there,

so technically I was squatting.

Oh, wow.

Yeah, remember this place?

It looks exactly the same.

I'm gonna go take a shower,

wash off the granola.

Make yourself at home.

Okay.

I came into work,

and he was like,

"you're ugly,

and you have a bad personality,"

and so I hit him in the eyes.

And then he had to get surgery,

but that was his fault because...

Yeah, yeah,

and I had to listen to them

talk about how great they are

and, like, how they're

doing this artist residency

in Barcelona

and all these things.

And that's annoying,

but then I realized...

Wow.

I hope this is okay.

Whatever, dude.

You sure you don't want one?

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