Little Sister Page #2

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Is that like a nun thing?

It's still a Colleen thing.

Wow.

Do you still have your v-card?

Lifetime member.

How were we friends

in high school?

No one else liked us.

Oh, yeah.

So, why did you move home?

We are here inside

the Findlay corp chicken farm.

Findlay slaughters thousands

of innocent birds every day.

That's awful.

Yeah, so, I had to get out

of Michigan pretty fast.

Do Rick and Sherry know?

No, they just think

I'm a screw-up.

Whatever, it's fine.

We hardly even talk.

Did you get arrested?

Uh-uh.

Thank god.

You know the government

considers us terrorists?

You know what a terrorist is?

It's somebody who

actually does something.

People want to vote for change,

but they don't actually

want to do the changing.

I worked for Peta.

I went to the marches.

Nothing happened.

When I started doing this stuff,

then I could feel

something happening.

I could feel the difference

we were making.

If that makes me a terrorist,

then whatever.

Some people need to be

terrorized sometimes.

The latest jobs report is in

from the labor department,

and it does not look good.

The figures show

that American companies

are laying off employees

at the fastest rate

in five years,

with over 159,000 jobs lost

since September.

Where you been?

Your father and I made dinner.

We had no idea

you'd be home so late.

I ran into Emily Rhoades.

Oh, well, you could've called.

We had no way

of getting in touch with you.

Uh, you haven't had a way

to get in touch with me

for like three years.

Seriously?

I'm sorry.

I'll call next time.

There's some dessert

in the fridge.

Why is this door locked?

I'm getting dressed!

I don't like locked doors

in my house.

I'm putting my clothes on!

Okay, fine.

Are you okay?

Excuse me?

You seem maybe not okay.

I just didn't want you

to miss breakfast.

Scrapple, kiddo?

No, no!

Oops.

No meat.

Mr. bacon greasy fingers!

It's barely meat!

Just eat around it.

So, I am gonna drop Tricia off

at David's farm.

Do you wanna come say hello?

He'd love to see you.

Terri, too.

I, um, I don't think so.

I, um, was hoping Jacob

and I could...

Okay, yeah, sure,

that'd be fine.

Cool.

Take your pick!

Whatever you want!

Hi, uncle David!

Oh, look at you!

Aw! Scrawny little thing.

Don't they feed you

up in New York?

This place looks great!

- Yeah, you like it?

- Mm-hmm.

Terri always wanted

her own little herb farm,

so she's finally got it.

In the meantime,

I'm the one that has

to take care of this place.

But I did get to name the goats!

Shut up, Blanche!

She's my favorite.

Tricia,

why don't you take Colleen

on a little tour of the farm

because David and I have

some business to discuss.

Five minutes, sweet pea.

Okay. Okay.

I think it's great you and Jacob

are still together.

Uh, thanks.

It's, um...

Yeah.

Don't my parents

drive you crazy?

Oh, they're not that bad.

At least they care.

How long you been working here?

Ever since they got the place,

a couple years ago.

And then after your brother

got hurt,

I needed something

to keep me busy.

What's in there?

So, you just water everything

and feed the animals?

All kinds of stuff.

Um, collect the eggs

from the chickens.

Chickens?

Did you know

they were cannibals?

No.

Yeah. The big ones peck

the little ones to death,

and then they eat them.

Wow.

You know, we're just playing

with some ice cream,

waiting for some

hot boys to come by.

We even tried on

some sexy outfits for them, too.

Meow.

Colleen?

Hey, wanna go for a walk?

Not really.

Okay.

It vass a dark and stormy night.

I vant to suck your blood!

Go back

to your grave, Draculina!

Never!

Oh, yeah?

Then take this!

Hey, put that down!

Cut it out!

Where did you get this?

Where did you get this?

I borrowed it from Tyler.

What's the rule in our house?

No guns allowed.

Hey, there, mister man.

Tricia, you don't have to.

Please, let me at least try.

Mmm. My big strong hero.

Tricia.

You are. You are.

Please.

No, I want to see

how much you want me.

I'm trying really hard

right now.

I know, I know.

I appreciate it.

I love you.

I love you, too.

Mom, where's the hair dryer?

In the middle drawer.

Find it okay?

Yep.

Hello?

Have a seat!

Colleen...

Have a seat, please!

Uh, we'll just come back

another time.

See? There's no one out here.

Ready?

Mm-hmm.

How often do our parents

smoke pot?

All the time.

When did that start?

I don't think

it ever really stopped.

Um, maybe they cut back

when we were born,

but ever since you left,

they just totally don't care,

and with all my stuff

and Tricia...

Well, you don't, do you?

Maybe a few times, in Iraq.

Hmm, what was it like?

It was okay.

I mean, it was kinda stupid,

but sometimes you have to

get stupid over there.

So, we do these, um,

field trips, um, across America

to do, like, community service

stuff, you know?

Mm-hmm.

Like, we did a lot

of home rebuilding

in Louisiana and Mississippi,

that sort of thing,

but this one month we went

to Charleston, south Carolina,

and we worked in a group home

for mentally disabled adults,

and I, um, I was assigned

to a woman named Ro-Ro,

and, um, um, she was really

so sweet and very funny.

She insisted on putting

her own makeup on every morning.

Mm-hmm.

And, um, she was a midge...

She was a little person,

and she loved men.

That's all she ever

wanted to talk about,

and she'd just

go on and on about men,

and if I, if I put on the song

achy breaky heart,

she just lost it.

I've never seen someone so happy

in my whole life

than when Ro-Ro would listen

to achy breaky heart,

but one of the nuns,

sister Isadora,

she was assigned

to this patient,

this guy who ate everything,

literally everything.

He, um, had a disorder

where he'd put everything

in his mouth,

so you had to watch him

at all times,

even when he went

into the bathroom,

and so Isadora went

into the bathroom once,

and he sat on the toilet,

and he, um, he's taking a poop.

When he finishes,

after he finishes,

he reaches into the toilet,

and he pulls it out,

and he eats it.

Oh! Oh, man!

Isadora couldn't do anything.

She just puked

all over the floor.

And he walks over,

and he starts eating her puke!

I can't laugh.

Come on! We laughed

our butts off, and we're nuns.

Oh, my gosh, are you okay?

No, I can't laugh.

It's my lungs and the hiking.

You okay?

Yeah.

Are you monsters?

Yeah, we're monsters.

Joan Marie peacock-Lunsford.

I sure could use some company

in this bathtub.

Mr. green and I are gonna get

real lonely without you.

Okay, just a second

before I forget.

Calgon, take me away!

Um, so, there's, um, this,

a little green box

in, in our bathroom.

Do you know

what I'm talking about?

No.

You sure?

Okay.

Oh.

Nice.

How about this one?

I think this one

is just so pretty.

It looks great on you.

Yeah? The neckline's pretty.

I don't know.

Oh, uh, maybe

a little too short.

Let's put the first one back on.

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