Locker 13 Page #5

then going out in style,

that's the way to go.

Man, I just made a mistake.

I gotta go.

The shoes, they're a nice touch.

Shows some thought.

Doesn't really express anything.

What did you mean by it?

Nothing.

See, there's your problem.

Think you're being all clever,

leaving a special message.

You think it's an answer.

It just raises questions.

What did you mean by this?

Well, look,

why do you want to know?

Just answer the question.

It was for the people in the Center

and for the group, okay?

Go on.

Okay, when you go

to the Crisis Center,

they take away your shoes,

and all day you walk around

in socks or bare feet or whatever.

No shoes.

They take them when you arrive,

so they figure you won't run away

if you don't have them.

And I took them off

because I wanted them to know

that I couldn't make it on my own,

so I took off my shoes.

But what does it mean?

It means

I'm part of something, okay?

The people at the Center

will understand.

I gotta go.

Don't patronize me, William!

You're just gonna jump off

some other the roof,

and that would be

a damn waste if you ask me.

How do you know my name?

I'll get to that.

But first,

let's get one thing straight.

I've done my homework.

I know that you checked

out of that hospital two days ago

after a two-week stay

for attempted overdose.

Yeah, we read your file.

You have a really bad way

of talking me out of this.

That's just it, William.

I'm not trying to talk

you out of anything.

I'm here to help you do it

more, uh, spectacularly.

What are you talking about?

You know, going out with a bang.

I'm with an organization called

The Suicide Club.

We go around the country,

and we help plan

elaborate suicides.

This is a joke, right?

No.

This is very,

very firmly believed in by me

and my fellow members.

You were hand-picked

as someone who...

who really wants to die.

You're perfect.

But I gotta tell you, though,

you gotta lose the fear.

Perfect example. This is what we were

talking about earlier... Japan.

When were we

talking about Japan?

I'm gonna tell you... Japan.

Really big on the big "S."

Not so much now,

but historically, man, oh, man,

you can't go three pages

in any book on ancient Japan

without reading about some king

or noble or lover killing themselves.

They ritualized suicide

like an art form.

Long sword, kneel down,

say a quick prayer, slice, dice.

It was beautiful.

You think hari-kari is beautiful?

No. No, the conviction of it.

The determination,

the style of it.

Those nuts altered the entire world's view

of the Japanese.

I swear to God,

they instilled in their people

a sense of dignity and honor.

Do you know what

the point of no return is?

No.

The point of no return.

You mean,

when you can't turn back?

When it's too late to turn back,

that's right.

One quick slice from the left to the right

across the abdomen.

You know what happens

next, William?

All your intestines

fell out on the floor.

And all you have to do now

is watch yourself bleed to death.

That's the point of no return.

That's conviction.

That's honor and dignity,

all because

of a few ritualistic suicides.

Never thought

about it that way before.

Well, maybe you should.

Let's flip it around on you now.

How is your conviction, hmm?

What is this... this... this message

that you're trying to leave?

- Um, Jack?

- Bill?

I have to say

that I haven't understood

a thing that you said today, okay?

And, personally, I think

you need more help than I do,

but I have my own problems

to deal with.

I can't help you, okay?

So let's just part our merry ways

and just say good night, okay?

No, I can't let you do that.

You don't have any choice

in what I do, Jack!

Exactly what point during

my last 7-minute and 42-second oration

did I say you had a choice,

it being my assignment?

I have a bet, remember?

I have exactly

two minutes and thirteen seconds

for you to be dead.

You have a bet

that I'm gonna kill myself?

What can I say? We get

a little overzealous in our work.

Now I have twelve grand

riding on you,

so there's no walking away.

Hey, what are you

doing with that?

How about one

of those mysterious murders

with a lot of weird, abstract clues

that no one ever solves,

but you read about them

in all those true crime magazines?

Could you just put the gun down?

Hey, I haven't killed you yet.

Now, quiet. Now, listen,

you were chosen

for various reasons.

You have the conviction,

but balls?

Balls, you don't really got those.

What?

I know, I know.

You're scared.

You're startled by the harsh reality

of it, and that's okay.

You have it all but the chutzpah.

That's where I come in.

I don't want this, Jack!

William, you're talking

to a professional here.

Don't lie to me.

No, I don't want this, Jack.

I don't want to die, Jack!

It's not that

I don't have the guts.

It's I'm having a doubt, Jack.

I'm having doubts.

It's just a case of cold feet

masquerading as doubt.

You want to die.

I know it.

Maybe I don't.

Please! You have one foot

out the door, man!

You have been for a long time!

I see it in your eyes!

Jack, you're wrong, you're wrong.

Oh, really? I don't think so.

I mean, you don't see it now,

but this is perfect.

Your reluctance,

your rationalization,

it's just a knee-jerk reaction

to the survival instinct,

and that's okay.

That's where me

and my club come in.

Among other things,

we're your backbone, man.

We're gonna make

sure that you get what you want.

Trust me.

I don't want this.

William, it's gonna be quick.

I'm gonna leave

enough evidence around

to keep them guessing for years.

No, I don't want this, Jack!

I don't want to die!

William, what do you

have to live for, huh?

What do you have to live for?

I'm sorry! We're on a schedule!

We kind of need to wrap this up!

Jack, no, no! Please!

I don't want... I don't want to die!

You wanted to swan dive

off that ledge ten minutes ago!

Point of no return,

William, remember?

I'm sorry.

You're just lying to yourself anyway.

No, I'm not lying!

I want to live, Jack!

I want to live!

Don't you lie to me.

You can lie to yourself,

but not to me.

You know why?

'Cause I know, I know!

You can't fool the reaper, William!

I have seen his face,

and I have lived to tell about it.

So don't you lie to me!

I'm not lying!

I want to live!

I want to live!

Well, you better prove it

in the next forty-five seconds.

What do you have to live for?

Okay, okay!

- Forty-four, forty-three...

- Okay, okay!

- Thirty, twenty-nine...

- Um... um...

Play-Doh! Play-Doh!

Go on.

Every Saturday,

I go to my sister's house,

and I baby-sit her son.

He's six, and he doesn't

have the use of his legs,

and it kills me,

and he doesn't

even complain, okay?

And after dinner, we go out to the patio

to this little card table,

and we play

with Play-Doh, okay?

We play with Play-Doh!

And?

He...

He gets so serious, you know.

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