LOL Page #2

I'm seeing my ex-husband again?

Yes?

No?

Could you stop saying...

And just give me a real answer?

Stop it, Ethan!

Jackson!

Stop it.

Jackson, shut up!

Stop it. Shove it up your ass.

Mom, did you hear that?

Lola, language.

Jackson! I'm going to kill you.

I swear to God!

I am so tired of that.

Give it to me. Give it to me.

- Mom!

'You!

Mommy!

Mom, Emily won't let me practice.

It's time for dinner.

Dinner's on the table. You were supposed

to be here a half an hour ago.

Fine, okay. I'm coming back.

- You know your father!

- Okay. Whatever.

Sorry, guys, I gotta bail.

Bail? Dude, we got to practice. Come on.

- No, I'll make it up next time, I promise.

- Make it up?

Bro, we're gonna suck if we don't practice.

Battle of the Bands is coming up.

We're not going to suck, dude.

We're putting in the time.

It's going to be fine, okay?

Dude, these kids practice every day,

all right?

They don't have to go home

when mommy calls.

I'll see you later.

We're so screwed.

All right, come on.

Everybody gets a flyer, okay?

We wanna see you all at the show.

No Shampoo.

Semifinals!

Ladies get in free, come check us out.

No Shampoo. Guys, $10.

Come check them out.

- What kind of music?

- Indie. A little bit of everything.

Well, if you're there, I'm there.

You're passing out flyers now?

Yeah, but apparently, it works better

if you're pretty.

Like you would know.

Don't be jealous.

- Don't worry.

- I never do.

I swear, guys,

if we don't make it through after that...

Oh, my God, you're going to make it.

All right.

- You did so good.

- You think so?

- I know so.

- Thanks.

- "L know so."

- "I know so."

You really are amazing.

No, you're amazing.

Kyle!

You coming?

Yeah, yeah.

Come on.

We're going to rock it next time.

There he is.

So, where you been?

At Chad's. Working on our history project.

How did it go?

It went really great.

It's about the Industrial Revolution.

Hon, want some soup?

Thank you.

So, hey, Dad, remember that

Battle of the Bands thing I told you about?

The winners, they get a record deal.

It's really more of a showcase,

but we might have a spot.

Pass me the salt.

Did you hear what I said?

Yeah. Did you hear what I said?

We'll talk about music

when your grades are better.

Thank you.

Lola, I said no.

I'm on my way home. I'm at the courthouse.

Because I got a ticket. You know what?

Enough with this inquisition.

I'm going to just see you at home.

Oh, sh*t!

Really?

Need some help?

Not unless you can fix this.

Not exactly my skill set.

- Then too bad.

- Too bad.

- So, where are we going?

- What?

You can't limp home, and I doubt

you'll find a cab this time of day.

Well, they kept me in there forever.

Stupid a**hole cops, giving me a ticket.

Just because

my registration's expired one day.

You're not gonna find a cab.

Trust me, I'm a very safe driver.

Okay.

- Need some help?

- Yeah.

Come on. What are you waiting for?

But, hey, what about your helmet?

The cops will just bust you for anything.

Don't worry about it. We'll be okay.

Have a good one, Detective.

You, too, have a good one.

- Ready?

- Yeah.

Let me help you with that.

It gets stuck sometimes.

Okay.

Thanks. I'm sorry I insulted

your entire profession.

It's okay, I'm kind of used to it.

Appreciate the rescue.

Anytime.

Is he hot?

You're so bad.

It doesn't matter, because I'm not gonna

go out with some random cop.

All right, well then, one night.

Quick and dirty. One night.

No, 'cause that's really not my style.

With a guy?

No, the quick and dirty.

Okay, well, you've been divorced

for more than a year.

It's time to step it up. Get your game on.

Let me tell you something,

if I was a divorced woman...

If you were a divorced woman, what?

Nothing. Nothing.

- Nothing.

- Everything.

I'd sleep with a different guy

every single night. Just like you do.

Oh, really?

Well, I haven't slept with anybody but you.

I'm not talking about you.

I'm talking about men. Men.

You mean us. You mean us men.

The great confederation of bastards.

Hey, look who's here.

- Mom, Jeremy got a scooter.

- Jeremy got a scooter.

Jeremy got a scooter?

- Yeah. Dad said it was cool.

- Surprise!

- Yeah.

- Yeah, I got the kid a scooter.

Wait, excuse me. We discussed this.

I think I should get one, too.

I could avoid being late for school.

- It's not gonna happen.

- Why?

Because I'm not gonna go

and be peeling you up off of the sidewalk

because you've splattered...

That's dramatic.

It's not dramatic. And it's not happening.

Whatever.

Where are you going?

I've got to show Jeremy

something on the computer.

How can you make that decision without...

- I know. But I've set the table.

- We'll come back.

It's just we're not really interested

in the senior conversations.

Yeah. Thanks, Dad.

- What?

- Senior...

We're not interested

in your teenage conversations.

- Senior conversations?

- Are you serious?

- She's so polite.

- I'm dyeing my beard.

What do you think?

Not bad. Who is it?

It's my friend, Kyle.

Okay, Mr. Kyle.

Shut up.

Does Lola smoke?

Are you crazy?

Do you smoke in front of her?

Never. What about Jeremy?

Don't worry about Jeremy. He hates drugs.

I think I'm going to surfing camp.

What about you?

I don't know, but my dad

is totally doing my mom again.

No sh*t. You cool with that?

No. I'm sick of them lying to me

and I know that it's never going to work.

I know the feeling.

So, I need to ask you a favor.

Okay. What do you need?

I need you to sleep with me.

Now, women dont just screw.

Okay? They need an emotional attachment.

- Do we?

- Though I will say this,

that no matter how liberated

you women think you are,

male sexuality and female sexuality,

very different.

Come on, what's the big deal?

It's not like I asked you for euthanasia.

It's just one little favor.

You've known me forever. Come on.

It's not just a little favor.

Okay. What would you say if I asked you?

Yes.

I say no, okay? I respect you too much.

You guys suck with your stupid respect.

Yeah and when we don't respect you,

we're a**holes, and when we do, we suck.

All right, fine, next subject.

Why don't you do it with Mr. Kyle?

Because he thinks I did it already,

and if I ask him,

then he's going to know that I'm lying.

And so will Chad.

You women really are nuts.

We are not nuts.

Since Lucy has broken up with Rick,

she's going out with a ton of guys.

Everybody knows that Lucy is a slut.

She's having the time of her life.

And I doubt anyone's farting in her bed.

I'm so sorry.

You used to love my farts.

I was lying to you.

What about you and Allen?

You guys still see each other?

Just with the kids.

Good, because we saw Allen the other day

with the biggest bimbo.

You should have seen this girl.

Remember her, Roman?

Okay, just because he was with her,

doesn't mean he was "with" her.

Darling...

Doesn't mean anything. Okay?

Oh, sh*t, did I just say something dumb?

Not at all.

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