London Boulevard

You, you're out.

How goes it, Mitchel?

Prison makes me nervous, Billy.

Let's go, then.

Here's something new for you.

You can't smoke in the f***ing pub.

They done it in Ireland.

They done it, f*** me,

they done it in France.

New York, they've made the fags,

so they burn out

if you leave them in the ashtray.

Tastes like sh*t as well.

You been to New York, Billy?

Well, that's another

f***ing story, isn't it?

The guy that

owned this flat, this doctor,

got into heavy sch-took with,

shall we say, a money lender.

Left everything.

- You're the money lender?

- Well...

Part of a firm.

And, we'd like you to be on-board.

I don't think so, Billy.

Still, you stay. Think about it. Whatever.

Where you gonna go otherwise, right?

What? 80 they give you

to make your way in London.

In London?

What is it, 47 a week

job-seekers allowance?

On Kennington Road.

Here.

I won't use it.

You need it.

And you need me, mate.

You need your friend, Billy.

There's a party tonight,

of course there's a party.

Usual, down at the Hanover.

Don't be late. It's your party, isn't it?

Did they hurt you in there, Mitchel?

Nah, not so you'd notice.

They hurt me in there, Mitchel.

I know they did, Joe.

It's all right now. Here.

You don't have to do that.

Yeah, I do.

It's a tax you pay for being all right.

You missed the World Cup.

Let's have it.

F*** off.

Go on.

That's a sh*t place to park.

You're a legend.

A little something

for a rainy day, mate!

Here you go, mate!

Welcome back, brother.

Shame we can't talk about work

in a place like this, Mitch.

There's something I want

to throw you way.

If you don't talk about work here,

Danny, where do you talk about it?

- It's full of f***ing reporters, isn't it?

- What?

Do you know what I mean?

F***ing congregation

of f***ing southeast villains like this.

I mean, see that one over there? There.

Right, she's writing a f***ing book.

And they all want their

f***ing picture taken, don't they?

They all want their photo in it.

F***ing bunch of f***ing tossers.

The pad you're in, yeah?

I don't need to tell ya

there's no free lunches.

There are other things I can do,

and maybe I want to f***ing do them.

No, it ain't like you think.

I ain't going back inside, Billy, ever.

For f***ing no one.

Then don't get caught,

you f***ing c*nt.

There's a bit of a ruckus

in the cellar, lad.

I think it's your sister.

Did you invite my sister?

Me? No.

She's a f***ing cow.

Come on, darling.

What are you going to do?

Are you going to kill me?

- Aye, I may.

- You going to kill me?

Hey, hey. Yo, bro. It's all cool, yeah.

It's alright.

When you're black, I'll f***ing tell you.

I told him. I told him it was only kissing.

Christ, Mitch, that ain't right. That's...

I don't give a f*** who it is!

That's Purple Dave's nephew.

- Which Purple Dave?

- Eh?

Hey, what's up?

Where you going? Mitch?

- You look nice, Briony.

- Yeah? Do you like it? I stole it.

I'll call you tomorrow, all right?

You get some rest

and no more drinking, right?

I've not been drinking.

I've not been f***ing drinking.

- On my meds, some chance.

- Briony, you've been drinking.

- Get some rest.

- I've not been drinking.

I've not... Ugh!

F***! Smells like someone's

been drinking in here.

West 11. End of the road.

And make sure

she gets to the front door, yeah?

If you care about me,

you come and take care of me.

We tried that.

Here.

All right.

I haven't been drinking!

Fancy a drink?

All right. Not here.

Somewhere else.

Never again.

Where's Mitch?

Mad Tommy said...

Mad Tommy with the mad hairpiece,

that this party was for a criminal,

just out of Pentonville.

I was a criminal.

Presently, I am just unemployed.

Are you handy?

What, with hammers and such?

I might have something for you.

A job, I mean.

I'm serious. I am.

Is it too little for you now?

What a tradesman makes?

No. I know how little I need.

To be happy?

To be alive.

I'm Penny.

I'm Mitchel.

Look, I have this, um, friend.

We go back ages.

She lives in Holland Park.

She's... retired.

Friend your age? Retired?

You'd know

who it was if I told you.

She's gone a bit Howard Hughes.

Still blind, you old fraud?

I need a favour.

Jesus Christ, Joe. Put it back.

- I found it in a bin, down the estates.

- Right.

You know what?

Put it away.

Yes?

My name's Mitchel.

I was told that I was expected.

We may well be expecting you.

I've been out of communication.

Go round there and there's a door.

The kitchen door.

Don't.

We keep the curtains closed.

Right.

Are you a thief?

I've never stolen anything.

Why did you go to prison?

I was in an altercation.

It got out of hand.

Do you like violence?

I will hurt someone

before they hurt me.

- Sometimes they come over the walls.

- The paparazzi.

They're outside my house

all the f***ing time.

You know, it's got a bit much.

Right.

If they got over, if they got in...

Did you f*** Penny?

No.

That's odd. She's f***ed everyone

I've ever met. Except Jordan.

Thank you very much.

Could you get someone

off the property if you needed to?

I mean, if I needed you to,

could you help look after me?

Yes.

Uh, you have to sign a piece of paper.

A...

Non-disclosure agreement.

Do you have a camera phone?

Jordan will take care of everything.

- Money.

- Thank you, miss.

What she does these days, mainly,

is paint.

She has a studio upstairs.

The papers would say she daubs.

See, you're not allowed

to do more than one thing,

which is why a polymath,

such as myself,

prefers to do nothing.

It's all about privacy, you see.

This day and age.

Privacy.

I fancy celebrities

rather like the Olympians of old.

They do wonder out there,

the little people,

what their gods are doing,

who they're f***ing,

who they've chained to a rock,

or turned into a f***ing ass.

All this could be yours, later,

if you haven't nicked

any Screaming Popes.

Are you fixed up?

For now, I am.

It's a nice day,

if you like that sort of thing.

Everything you could possibly need

is in here. Tools, ladders, paints.

If there's anything else,

we have an account, down the road.

You've seen her in films?

Getting her kit off.

If it wasn't for Monica Bellucci,

she'd be the most raped woman

in European cinema.

And all before the age of 30.

Of course, she's also

very serious about her acting.

Apart from not wanting to do it,

she's incredibly serious about her craft.

Her husband's a fuckwit.

His cars.

He hasn't a call for them.

He's in Spain. Drunk.

They should be covered.

They need to be taken care of.

Yes.

Well, if we could find the f***ing titles,

they'd have all have been sold.

You will arrive promptly at 7:30,

work commences at 8:00 sharp.

At 11:
00, you'll have a tea break.

At 1:
00, lunch for one hour.

- Monday's you'll do painting...

- Jordan, I'm not sure of this...

Please, bear with me.

I'm making all this up.

I'm a model of efficiency.

Wednesdays, the roof.

Thursdays, windows.

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