Long Nights Short Mornings Page #2

- Yeah.

It was fine

until I mentioned you.

That sour.

Yeah.

Sorry, I didn't...

No, it's fine.

Just every time

I think about her...

Reminds me of

how much of an a**hole I am.

You're not an a**hole.

Oh, okay. Hey.

Let's go mingle.

- I'm okay here.

- No, come on.

No, it's okay.

Just go find your boy.

Come with me.

Please.

I'm not sure how familiar

you are with these artists,

but basically,

their whole concept is that...

Basically, I want to take

the idea of two become one,

and just like see how far they

can take that where two humans

became as similar as possible.

And they were husband and wife,

and so what that meant is that

they got breast implants

that looked alike.

They dress alike.

- They, hey...

- -Hey.

Um, they have very similar,

well, they have

exactly the same haircut,

which is kinda funny to watch,

if they said, like,

"here's what we're going

to do today," and I was, like,

"why?" And they're like,

"no." Like that was when they

kind of would get excited, right?

My entire dynamic with them went

from being just like,

a guy that got to work with his

heroes to a guy who just had to

constantly fight his heroes.

And like,

everything that they would do

I would challenge, right?

And I'm not a

very combative person, like,

sort of, like depending on the situation

where I need to be I can like step up.

I think what you're recognizing

is that

this friendship

was getting a little...

Toxic, and...

You know, it's not really a

two-way street in terms of like,

you know, the way

that she's relying on you, and

you know, what you get in return...

I just...

Excuse me, do you have the time?

Sorry, my phone just died.

Yeah.

Nine thirty.

Thanks.

Anyway, so I think I need

to just, sort of,

put a little distance.

- I don't know.

- I'm gonna get a drink.

- Do you want anything?

- No.

I'm fine. Thank you.

You took my seat.

Oh, um...

- I'm sorry.

- No, don't, I'm kidding.

Well, you did. But don't get up.

- You might tear it.

- Okay.

Thank you.

Sure.

So, who do you know here?

I'm a stranger here myself.

I, uh...

I'm here with him.

- This one?

- Yeah.

He know someone here.

Sure.

That mustache guy.

Yeah.

And so now, I'm like sort of,

thinking like,

what could I possibly do next.

And I haven't

figured it out yet, but I'm

I don't know, pretty confident

that I'll figure out something.

- Hey.

- Hey.

So thanks for inviting me.

Yeah, I'm glad you could come.

Listen, I...

I have something

I want to show you.

Can you take me

into another room?

Definitely.

- I'll think of it.

- Okay.

Just watch your head, okay?

Okay, thanks.

Well, my friend

just went up with him, so...

Um... she likes him.

- She likes who?

- She likes that.

Looks like I'm stuck with you.

Oh, sorry.

- Any word?

- No.

Feel like, maybe we should go

after this drink.

Really?

Yeah, I just had sort of a long

day, and I either need to...

Go home now,

or get totally hammered.

It's so early.

I know, but I'm just...

I can feel... oh, wow.

Look who's phone

magically came back to life.

Why would you, like...

Tell someone

your phone died and...

I just want to stay. Can we stay,

like, a little bit longer, please?

- Just getting to know some people.

- Okay.

All right. Great. Yeah, let's stay at the

weird party we're having a good time, so...

I am, yeah.

Hey, I'm really sorry,

I have to go.

I'd love to hang out sometime,

can I get your number?

Thanks.

Bye.

He thought I had coke

or weed or something.

He didn't want to make out

with me.

I hate boys.

I know.

They're terrible.

Hey...

Cheer up. All right?

Look...

Who cares?

I mean, he's an a**hole, right?

Yeah, he is.

You're not, though.

I know that, deep down.

Even though you think you are.

I hope would do one

or the other.

Shh.

All right. Here we are.

Here's you.

Where's the cat?

I don't know. He's hiding

around here somewhere.

Roger?

All right.

This is a sheet for you.

Thank you.

Perfect.

Oh, f***.

- Gross.

- What?

F***, he pissed on...

- No.

- Oh, sh*t.

Really?

Oh.

Ew.

Roger.

Look, I'll just go home.

No, it's okay.

Just sleep in my bed.

But stay on your side.

Okay.

Oh, come on, Jesus.

What, I thought you liked

that sort of thing.

What is that?

What?

Is that your boner?

Quit it, all right?

Okay.

Okay.

I just had no idea

you had such a big dick.

- I thought we were supposed to tell each

other these things. -It's not that big.

Maybe it's just cause

it's so hard.

Get over here already.

Hold on.

Oh, boy.

Stop looking at me like that.

Sorry. It's just...

- It's weird.

- Shut up.

No, it's not.

Wow.

That felt good.

Yeah.

- But...

- It was probably a mistake.

Yeah.

Okay.

But Jesus...

There we go.

I'm sorry again, I'm always on

time.

I know you are. I was worried.

That I'd blow you off?

I don't know, that you were,

like, hit by a bus or something.

Yeah, you hoped it was that.

So what are you doing

with your days in Hollywood

besides playing with bands

from New York?

- Ha!

- Ah.

I'm working on

some of my own stuff.

Thinking about turning it, like, into

an opera or something. I don't know.

I've also been doing

some acting.

Believe it or not.

But...

Mostly I'm just,

you know, serving hamburgers.

Well, you do look like

a movie star.

It's only a matter of time.

Thanks.

What about you?

How many exciting things

you have going on?

Exciting? I don't know, been...

Getting some work, you know, doing

videos and photos and stuff.

Working with some cool people.

Like who?

What, you want me to name drop?

Sounds like you want to.

Anyway, mostly I've just been living

like a transient, drinking too much.

As usual.

Waking up

in other people's beds.

I like my own bed just fine.

I'm kidding. I don't care.

You are so pretty.

Hey, everybody.

Threesomes suck.

You think

they're gonna be awesome,

and you get excited

'cause there are two chicks.

But it's more like

running a party as a host

and you got your clipboard and you're

like, "how we doing over here?

You had your tits rubbed? Okay, lets

do some p*ssy-eating down here and

why don't you,"

and you can't talk like that.

You can't be like, "why don't

you?" You get to be like...

Get over here.

Sit on her f***ing face.

And, so

while you're doing this...

You're doing it, because you're

gonna beat off to that night

when you're 72.

You're essentially working

for your old dick.

So...

What are you gonna do

when you get back?

Go back to work.

I don't know.

No, I mean your real work.

Oh.

Well, I don't really

have any plans.

Guess I'll just wait to see

what comes to me.

Well, some days it's hard,

like, if I have a day off

I just won't leave the house,

'cause I don't know what to do.

I don't get that.

I mean, I'm constantly obsessing

over all my plans.

I can't stand it when things

don't go accordingly.

No, what if something good

comes from it?

I don't know.

Even then, it just bothers me.

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