Looking Over: The Edge of Love Page #4

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"Of course

you told me because I asked.

"I should have bitten out my tongue.

"You're all I love. You're all my need.

"You're what I see in front of me.

" And if I look over my shoulder, there...

"There, I can see your smile.

" All honour I would give up for you.

"I could accept defeat

if you were by my side."

Vera.

- Do you want me to hold your head?

- Christ, no!

Now you'll get fat

and Dylan won't love you any more.

You're a b*tch.

It's the past Dylan loves.

And you.

Doesn't love me at all.

When's William get back?

I keep writing. No word.

Think he's dead?

I'm still getting his pay.

Army wouldn't pay a dead man.

You'll have to stop singing.

I'll sing if I want.

They won't let you.

Not pregnant, they won't.

Oh, I can't do this. I can't.

A mother, me? Look at me.

Well, get rid of it, then.

- It's William's.

- Ah.

You love him.

I hate him. Oh, God, I hate him so much.

Look what he's done to me.

Don't laugh. Don't damn well laugh!

- I can't do this alone. I can't.

- I'm here, aren't I?

- Let's go home, Caitlin.

- I don't have a home.

- Wales, Caitlin.

- Are you insane, woman?

- I've got money.

- What, William's pay?

I've savings. Of course I have.

Hold him! Bloody hold him!

- The whole town will hear you!

- Shut your damn mouth!

- You see this here?

- Yes.

Give it here.

- Don't let go!

- It's only a baby.

You scream if you want to, Vera. You hear me?

"Please write to me."

"They tell us what to write

to our boys, so we keep your morale up.

"It's our duty. Damn duty, I say.

I'm no heroine, you see.

"I'm fed up to the back teeth of being on my own.

It's not what I married you for.

"Come home.

"I've got something I might want

to say to you. Remember?

"You do remember, don't you?

"Come home. I want to touch you.

"Where the rain fell on your skin.

"Damn you for making me feel this way.

"Damn you to hell and back.

" And back, William.

"And back."

Down. Down!

Man down!

No, sir.

Forgive us

Forgive us your death

that myselves the believers

May hold it in a great flood

Till the blood shall spurt

And the dust shall sing like a bird

As the grains blow,

as your death grows, through our heart

Crying

Your dying

Cry

Child beyond cockcrow by the fire-dwarfed

Street we chant the flying sea

In the body bereft

Come on. Sleep tight.

- I'm hungry.

- Shh.

Baby is sleeping.

It's bloody freezing! Bloody Wales!

When I was little, my da always

used to warm me like this.

- You loved him?

- Adored him.

- I hated mine.

- You didn't hate him. Not hate.

He was loathsome.

Pity you're not a man.

If you were a man, I'd fancy you.

Don't think I didn't know you were there.

- I didn't.

- I could smell him.

Come here, Dylan. Let Vera smell you,

smell the woman on you.

- Stop it.

- She thinks I should twiddle my thumbs while...

- What? What?

- Don't wake the kids, Dylan.

So where are they, Caitlin, hm?

Where are your little friends?

Come on, boys. Out you come.

Feeding time.

Ow! She's killing me! Vera!

I will kill you! I will!

If I catch you at it again, I will!

Why don't you see to the kids, Caitlin? Go on.

- Why do you do it?

- I don't do anything.

I do it, sleep with other women...

- Hello.

- Morning.

...because I'm a poet, and a poet feeds off life.

What?

Pompous sod, aren't you?

I do it because she does it.

She always has. She can't help herself.

It doesn't mean anything to her.

You don't need William. You've got me.

Nothing but you and me with time on our hands

and each other to spend it with.

Hello, Daisy.

Come back with me. Come on.

I'll take you back to a time

when we were safe.

Where no bombs fell from the sky

and no one died, ever.

You can't go back.

We can.

You and me.

It's not real.

It is if we want it to be.

Pity about the poor bloody husband.

Off bleeding for his country

and paying for the fun back home.

Don't mind if I join you, do you?

Room for a small one?

Ooh, wartime luxury.

You can drop me here.

Cat?

That looks nasty.

Catty, Catty. Cat, Cat, Cat.

Cat, Catty.

God, you're drunk in charge of a bike.

And what are you drunk in charge of?

Am I hurting you?

- You can't hurt her.

She's got skin like a rhinoceros hide.

We're only friends, Dylan and me,

you know that, don't you?

- Don't ever lie to me.

- I won't. Not ever.

Friends don't lie to each other.

Still as you can now.

Tell him to come back, Rowatt.

Tell your daddy to come back to me.

Think he sees it, lovely?

Your daddy?

You think he sees the rain?

Hmm?

Mama, Dada.

- Caitlin, shut it up!

You're its father! Play with him!

That's what he wants.

- I'm writing!

- Damn it!

Daddy! Mummy!

That's my only...

- Dada.

- That's my only draft!

You'll find it in the cesspit, then,

along with my only life!

Cat! Cat!

Cat!

When I was a windy boy and a bit

And the black spit of the chapel fold

Sighed the old ram rod dying of women

I tiptoed shy in the gooseberry wood

The rude owl cried like a telltale tit

I skipped in a blush as the big girls rolled

Ninepin down on the donkeys' common

And on seesaw Sunday nights I wooed

Whoever I would with my wicked eyes

The whole of the moon I could love and leave

For God's sake, don't wake Rowatt.

All the green leaved

little weddings' wives

In the coal black bush and let them grieve

Wash my back for me?

There is nothing

like a proper sponge.

Give us a kiss, Vera Phillips.

- Give us a penny, then.

- I haven't got a penny.

Like we used to be.

Little dog says, "Play with me."

That's all you'll get.

And don't you wet my jumper.

- We've had baths together before.

- We were children then.

- I made love to you on a beach.

- Once. And it was cold.

- So lonely.

- Not for you.

- Aching with it, you are.

- No, Dylan.

- No what?

- Don't make mischief.

There's no harm in it.

You're getting me wet.

Walk away, then.

Go on, Vera Phillips.

Hmm? Walk away.

- You want us all to love you.

- Hmm. So I can love you back.

All right, then.

Love me.

Look at me. I'm soaking!

Shh!

Vera!

Hello.

- Where have you been?

- Nowhere.

I'm going to make laver bread. Look.

No, don't.

You been crying?

They're sending William home.

I've never seen a man love anyone

the way I saw that man love you.

I'm not that me any more.

I've got Rowatt.

Just tell him you love him, Vera.

What if it's too late?

It's never too late.

- It's cold! It's cold!

- Of course it's bloody cold!

Catty!

I'm pregnant, you know.

Oh, God, Cat.

Whose is it?

Don't know.

Can't have it, of course. I won't have it.

- I need money, Vera.

- Do you know someone?

- He costs.

- Is he safe?

Just say if you can't help. I'll do it myself.

Maybe Wilfred knows how, he's a vet.

- What did you bother with him for?

- He's no bother.

Come on, we'll go to the bank.

I'd tell you you'd get it back

but you wouldn't believe me.

Treats. Come on.

It's like I only half remember him.

Dark.

Good-looking. Dangerous.

Can't live on memories, can you?

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