Loose Cannons Page #8

- Grand Central Station.

- Yes, sir.

- Let's go!

- A cab's in front of me.

- Push him out of the way!

- Push him out of the way?

- Push him out of the way!

Push him out of the way.

I've always wanted to do this.

Hey! Hey! Hey, what the hell you doing?

Hey, the light's gonna change

in 30 seconds, you a**hole!

- Go through it!

- No way!

You like this stuff, huh? This is fun

for you, huh, Grimmer? Fun!

Hey! What do you guys want...?

Police! Don't move! Drop it! Drop it!

Cuff him, come on! Get the other guy!

Hold it!

Sorry, but time for politeness is over.

Thank you for the information.

You've been a very entertaining fellow.

Come!

I told them the film was

in Workers Area B...

...in some guy named

Greisendorfer's locker.

Yeah.

There's no guy named Greisendorfer.

You did good, kid. You did good.

- Steckler said it was in locker 64.

- Sixty-four.

- Workers Area B.

- Okay.

Locker 64.

You scared that ugly bugger

back into the night.

- He heard me howling, huh?

- He heard you howling.

- Go get them.

- Hold on. Hold on just a couple minutes.

I'll be fine. Go get it!

Mac!

Mac!

Hold it, sauerkraut!

Get your hands on that locker, sweetie.

Come on, come on, come on!

- Come on, come on, come on!

- Drop your weapon!

- I'm a police officer.

- Now!

Nobody move.

All right, hold it, Cookie Monster.

Come down, pussycat.

Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.

Get down. Down the ladder!

Give me my film.

Easy, give me the film.

Suffering succotash!

I thought I saw a pussycat. I did. I did!

Oh, no, Mr. Bill. I'm cuckoo

for Cocoa Puffs.

Lucy, I'm home. Well, isn't that special?

- It's comic relief, huh?

- Well, excuse me!

Guess what? Humpty Dumpty took

the great fall, huh?

That's my name. Don't wear it out.

Give me the f***ing film.

- Shoot him, Ellis.

- Oh, yeah, right.

I can't, Mac. I don't have a gun.

You didn't have to say that, did you?

On the other hand, he's crazy.

He could be fibbing

about not having a gun.

Yeah, could be.

What do you think a.45 automatic

would do to him from here?

Put a pretty good hole in him,

don't you think?

Grimmer, about the gun, I lied.

Guess what?

Humpty Dumpty's back on the wall.

Police spokesmen

have refused comment.

Here now is exclusive footage

taken three days ago...

... by an Australian delegate.

When Israeli agents interrupted

Kurt Von Metz's speech...

... with this astonishing film...

... showing the death of Adolf Hitler

by ritual suicide.

Here one can see Hitler kneeling

before the young soldier...

... chosen to deliver the coup de grce.

That soldier is none other

than Kurt Von Metz...

... leaving no possible doubt

that Von Metz...

... was a member

of the Nazi inner circle.

Here one can see, undeniably,

the striking thunderbolt birthmark...

... under the left eye of both the elder

and the younger Kurt Von Metz.

Irrefutable evidence.

Yes. Put him on.

Mr. Gutterman come out

of recovery yet?

Mr. Gutterman?

- Oh, you mean the whale from hell?

- Nurse!

Right on cue. Room 116. Help yourself.

- Help!

- Aren't you gonna see what's wrong?

I'd rather set my head on fire and

have it put out with a sledgehammer.

Nurse!

- I'd like to see that, actually.

- You son of a b*tch!

Oh, no, watch the ass! Watch the ass!

Watch the ass! Watch the ass!

Oh, my God! Wait a minute.

You schmucks! I have a hole in my ass!

That's why they call you an a**hole.

You call this a wheelchair?

Get out of here!

Hi. Hey, you! You call this protection?

I wouldn't be in this fix

if it wasn't for you, mister.

You really got your ass

in a sling this time.

How you feeling?

What do you mean, how am I feeling?

I'm dancing Swan Lake this afternoon.

Didn't they tell you? How am I feeling?

They took 12 ounces of lead

out of my ass!

You needed some lead taken

out of your ass. You know that.

Funny. Funny. Now I got six months

of ass jokes to look forward to.

- How's Ellis?

- Oh, he's great.

He's one floor down.

Want to go see him?

- Yeah, you drive.

- Okay.

Oh, sh*t.

Who are the children of the night?

We are the children of the night.

- I think he's in there.

- They are the children of the night.

Easy.

What kind of monsters are we?

Dinosaurs!

- What kind of dinosaurs?

- Tyrannosaurus rex!

Let me see the Tyrannosaurus rex.

Hey, Mac. Just entertaining

the troops. Harry!

Everybody, this is Harry the Hippo,

the super spy I told you about.

Let's give him a hand.

- He's too fat to be a spy.

- Yeah!

- Fat guys can't be spies!

- Yeah!

I'm not fat. Wait a minute!

Hold it! Hold it down! I'm not fat.

I'm Harry Gutterman.

- I'm an international agent.

- No, you're not!

- And I am disguised...

- No.

...this week as a fat guy.

This is all Jell-O.

That's why I smell like strawberries.

Feel. Go ahead.

Easy now, he's a national treasure.

Listen, who wants to hear how I broke

the Von Metz case?

- Me!

- All right, all right.

Bring me to those glazed doughnuts,

and I'll tell you about it.

First of all, I had this dog, no nose.

- How did he smell?

- Terrible, take my word for it.

- He's great with kids.

- First there was this guy...

...a real son of a b*tch,

but I didn't give a sh*t about him.

- This is when I was thinner.

- You know, Riva came by this morning.

- How's she doing?

- Great. You were in therapy.

- Yes, would I lie to children?

- Yeah!

- Let's take a walk, okay?

- Okay.

You know, you're all getting on my

nerves. Nurse, take them out of here!

- Look, Ellis...

- It sounds serious.

Yeah. I know you were looking forward

to being partners, and so was I really.

Riva recruited Harry and I to be secret

agents with the Israeli government.

- You know, the Mossad.

- Yeah.

Naturally, I have to convert to Judaism.

I'm gonna be bar mitzvahed tomorrow.

We leave for Tel Aviv the next day to

train at a secret site in the Sinai Desert.

- Really?

- Yeah.

The only thing I'm worried about is,

I have to be circumcised.

Circumcised? You're kidding.

Yeah.

Oh, Mac. Mac, Mac, Mac.

You know why we make

such good partners?

No, why?

Because technically,

you're crazier than I am.

I knew that.

Mohamedsayed1993@yahoo.com

MuhammadAraby

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