Lost Boys: The Thirst Page #2

I guess that cancels out

Michael and Star.

Yeah. I'm pretty much persona non grata

with the entire Emerson family at this point.

- Laddie?

- He's moved on.

He's got a wife, kids.

He's got a real life now.

- Yeah, well, so do I.

- You call this a life?

- This from a guy who lives in a trailer.

- Okay, so I've got nothing.

But at least I know what side I'm on!

Alan, if this is the head vampire,

then maybe we can kill him.

If we kill him,

then we just gotta find the one above him...

...and then on and on like that forever.

- They are telling me that this is the alpha.

The O.G. of all bloodsuckers,

the head vampire.

It's a pyramid scheme, Edgar.

Always has been.

What if this is it though?

What if this really is the head vampire?

Get this...

...and get it good, Edgar.

As far as I'm concerned...

...there's no such thing as vampires.

Hola, Trashynistas.

I'm sitting here with the one, the only...

...DJ X.

I'm sorry for those of you

who have a shitty connection.

I guess you'll just have to take my word

for when I tell you...

...the man's absolutely scrumptious.

They'll just have to

come and see me in person.

Yeah, well,

they'll just have to get in line. Ha, ha.

So, DJ X,

why do you think the detached and the...

...you know, the disconnected youth

of today have latched on so fervently...

...to your parties?

Because I create a place...

...where all the lost souls of the world

can come together.

A place where they can do

what they want...

...whenever they wanna do it.

Yeah,

you heard it straight from the man himself...

...all you lost boys and girls. This is

gonna be the biggest rave of the century.

And we'll let you know where

it's gonna be an hour before this event...

...so stay tuned to this website

for the deets.

That was a great interview, X.

Thank you so much.

No, no, thank you...

...for getting the word out.

I wanna have as many people at this event

as possible.

It's my pleasure.

And I mean that.

So anyhow, what do you guys

have to drink in this jalopy?

You.

Death to all vampires.

Maximum body count.

We're awesome monster bashers.

- The meanest.

- The baddest.

Edgar.

If I'm gonna do this,

I'm gonna need weapons.

Lots of weapons.

Lots of really expensive,

custom-made weapons.

Well, of course. Come in.

Hmm.

Please have a seat.

So aren't you the least bit curious

on how I know so much about vampires?

Not really.

I know who you are.

You're Gwen Lieber. Bestselling author

of the Eternity Kiss series.

First of which is about to be made

into a major motion picture...

...coming soon to a theater near you.

Oh, you've heard of me. I'm flattered.

Don't be. Your books suck.

I'm sorry you feel that way.

Doesn't really matter what I think.

You've got millions of emo-goth sheep

all over the world...

...who eat up every last word of it,

and keep coming back for more.

I'm sure you've made quite a nice living

off your supernatural bodice-rippers.

I'll have you know, I have gotten glowing

reviews from every major periodical.

Bought and paid for, I'm sure.

Just like me.

What is your problem, Frog?

My problem?

My problem is you glorify vampirism.

You make being a vampire look...

...sexy.

Well...

...there has always been an element

of eroticism in vampire mythology.

There is nothing sexy

about being a member of the undead.

Well, perhaps I have made a serious mistake

in coming to you.

If you came to me expecting me to ask

for your autograph, then yes, you did.

But if you came to me

expecting me to kill a shitload of vampires...

...that I can do.

Don't like the stake...

...maybe it needs a little garlic?

Here we go.

Freshly served.

Sh*t.

Eat that.

- Frog.

- Edgar, it's Gwen.

Can you come by my hotel right away?

It's rather important.

All right. I'll be right there.

Hello, Edgar.

So, what's so important you need me

to come down here right away?

Well, I thought you should meet

your new partner.

When you turned me down,

I was desperate, so I hired someone else...

...and I'd really feel bad making him come

all the way from Hollywood for nothing.

Hollywood?

I don't like the sound of it. Who is this?

Lars Von Goetz?

Lars, this is...

Oh, yeah. The Toad.

Frog.

- Edgar Frog.

- That's what I said.

Yeah.

I'm Lars Von Goetz.

But you already knew that.

And this is Claus, my camera operator.

So let's go kick the sh*t

out of some little rave punks, huh?

But first, I gotta eat.

I got the metabolism

of a 12-year-old boy.

Can I speak with you for a minute?

Right.

Never fear, Lars Von Goetz is here.

As long as the check clears.

Lars Von Goetz?

You hired Lars Von Goetz?

- I thought you'd be happy.

- Happy?

First you expect me

to kill a head vampire...

...then you expect me

to babysit some reality show reject?

You're not going to have to babysit him.

Haven't you seen his show?

The man's wrestled a grizzly bear,

a lion and an alligator.

He's amazing.

That was staged.

All reality shows are staged, okay?

Von Goetz, whatever his name is,

he's a fraud.

Vampires are, like,

- Well, I think he can take care of himself.

- We'll see about that.

That creepy guy's looking at me.

- Oh, gross.

- Here's the deal.

If I'm gonna do this,

I'm gonna need weapons.

Right. You said that.

I'll go see my guy tomorrow.

- You don't want me to come with you?

- No.

He's a little twitchy about new faces.

Listen, buddy, if you're looking

for the diet frozen-yogurt bar...

...it went out of business last summer.

Actually,

I'm looking for a Batman number 14.

That's a very serious book, man.

Only five in existence.

Four, actually.

I'm always looking out

for the other three.

Edgar, since I know...

...I'll never be able to talk you

out of what you're about to do...

...I can't let you go up against a potential

head vampire without giving you this.

One of the first books on vampire hunting

ever written.

It'll hopefully keep you safe.

Watch your back. Alan.

P.S. If you're still alive on Tuesday,

be sure to call Mom.

It's her birthday.

- Book O'Neer.

- Hey, Zoe.

I need your help with something.

- It's important.

- Sure.

I'll be waiting.

Wow, so the Gwen Lieber

hired you to find her kidnapped brother?

Yeah, and I think this book

might help me figure out...

...where they've taken him to.

I need you to scour it for any clues,

anything you can find.

I don't see how this old book is gonna

help you find anyone, but I'll give it a try.

Do me a favor.

If you happen to run across

anything in here...

...that talks about human sacrifice

or anything like that, make note of it.

All right.

Cool.

Uh, do you wanna tell me why?

Not really.

Could put your life in danger.

Okay.

Oh, my gosh.

Where's Frog?

Back off, fucko!

Or what? You gonna mace me?

Somebody needed a light?

Frog.

Ugly.

You're dead.

Suck on this.

Watch out!

Nice.

Mace?

Holy water.

I feel like pancakes.

Order up.

I found a whole section

of young male vampire sacrifices.

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