Lost Boys: The Tribe Page #5

Wait till you see the girls

we got waiting for us at the reef, bro.

It's gonna be crazy, bro.

Crazy.

All right, my turn.

Did you ever hear

of getting your own thing?

Did you ever hear of shutting the hell up?

You mind yourself, boy. Mister, ease off.

All right, enough.

What? What, what?

Camera, please.

All right, girls.

I dare you guys to kiss.

- Double dare?

- Double dare.

Oh, f***, are you seeing this?

Seriously, watch.

I think so.

Guys?

- Oh, hey.

- We're out of here.

- Where are you going?

Back to our place...

...for a drink.

- I'll come with you.

No, hang back, Chris,

there's plenty for you to do here.

Besides, this is Nicole's time.

Just have a seat, man.

Attaboy.

So check this out.

Do you know that salt water and blood

are basically the same thing?

It's true.

There's a French biologist

that did this experiment on a stray dog...

...around the turn of the century.

He drained all the blood out of the dog

and replaced it with diluted seawater...

...and everybody thought

that this dog was gonna die.

Except the dog didn't.

What they found is that

all the missing blood had regenerated.

The saltwater became blood.

And after that, the dog was more alive

and vibrant than it ever had been before.

The dog went on to live

a long and very healthy life.

To long life, Chris.

Let me try some of that.

I don't really think

you'd find it too much to your liking.

You might wanna just stick with the beer.

So what exactly was the point

of your very long and boring story, Jon?

Basically, what he's trying to say is...

...we're vampires.

- Ooh. Scary.

- No, but seriously...

...we're vampires.

Help me!

No, no, no.

No, please.

Let me go.

Shut the f*** up.

No, no, no.

I'm thinking I love this girl.

Oh, f***, I love this girl.

Do it.

Do it!

Run. Go.

Come on.

You're f***ed up, bro.

Shane's not around to save your ass

and I've had it with your attitude.

Guess you think I'm kidding you, bud...

...but it ain't so.

Where's Shane now, bi...? F***.

You ain't got no f***ing stick now,

do you?

Come on, let's finish this.

Hey!

Who ordered the stake?

Are you cool?

Yeah, I'm cool.

I said, are you cool?

Show me your teeth.

I said I'm cool.

And I said, show me your teeth.

I am cool.

Yeah, I can see that.

We don't have time for this sh*t, Eddie.

We have to get to the nest

and get my sister before she feeds.

That's what I'm talking about.

I hate f***ing vampires.

What are you doing, man?

Turning this into holy water.

- I'm a minister.

- You're a minister?

Yup. I got ordained online.

I'm officially recognized by the International

Association of Online Ministers...

...as the Honorable Reverend Edgar Frog,

the vampire hunter.

Did you study for that?

No. I went to the website,

filled out a couple forms...

...and clicked "Ordain Me."

Now, before going into battle, there's

a few things that you need to be briefed on.

First of all, when a vampire buys it,

it's never a pretty sight.

No two bloodsuckers

go out the same way.

Some yell and scream, some go quietly,

some explode, some implode...

...but all will try to take you with them.

As far as your arsenal of vamp artillery:

We got stakes.

Got some wooden ones,

got some metal ones...

...and some carbon-fibers.

I like the resins,

they're light and easy to handle.

That said, there's nothing as good

as the old-fashioned, classic wood job.

Safe, sturdy, reliable.

Next, we have my air-propelled-rocket

grenade launcher for holy-water balloons.

This is my baby, don't touch it.

We also have one of these.

- You know how to use this, right?

- Yeah, totally.

- Okay, good.

- No, dude, I have no idea what that is.

It's a garlic bolo.

Never mind, I'll hold on to this one.

Let's go kill some vampires.

They know we're here.

Are you ready?

I guess so.

- You guess so?

I know so.

Help me.

Help me.

You smell that?

Smells like fungus or death.

It's vampire BO.

What?

- What the hell are you talking about?

- Just follow me.

Nicole, help me.

Evan.

I can't.

You said you were ready.

But I know him.

Well, he's the only thing

that still stands between us, Nicole.

The only thing that stands

between you and immortality.

If you wanna be with me...

...if you love me...

...you'll do this.

Quiet, man, you'll wake the dead.

Chris.

Chris.

Chris.

Sh*t.

What part of "stay together"

don't you understand?

I smell ugly.

Chris.

Come on, Chris.

Chris isn't here, Eddie...

...but your brother is.

Where are you?

Yup, it's ugly.

Missed.

Pop goes the weasel.

Chris.

Stay forever.

Live forever.

Stay with family.

Chris.

Chris.

Welcome.

Chris.

I've been waiting to meet someone like you

for quite some time, Chris.

Someone that would push the boundaries,

someone that would challenge me.

- I saw that in you.

- Chris.

I don't wanna lose my brother.

Come on, taking in someone's essence...

...consuming living human blood...

...that's the real rush.

No!

Shane!

No. Shane. Stop.

You're killing him. Shane!

No!

Nicole.

Why?

He's family, a**hole.

Shane.

Shane, stop.

Nicole.

Nicole.

Nicole.

Nicole.

Build a man a fire...

...and he's warm for a day.

Light a man on fire...

...and he's warm for the rest of his life.

You'll be getting a bill for my services.

- Thanks, Eddie.

- Hey, it's what I do.

And it's Edgar.

Hey, is it...?

Is it cool if I call you sometime?

Uh...

Okay.

Yes!

Woo-hoo!

This is completely unacceptable.

I know exactly what you've been up to.

I am telling you, it has to stop right now.

I will not stand by and watch

two young people that I care about...

...fall into this trap, you hear me?

So if I so much as see one seed...

...or catch one whiff of reefer...

And believe me,

I know what it smells like.

- I'm calling the cops.

No warning. We are talking

zero tolerance, you got that?

End of discussion.

Cut the theatrics.

I know you're out there.

Show yourself.

That's a good way

to get yourself staked, Sam.

Easy there, compadre.

After all the sh*t that you pulled?

I think you can at least hear me out.

I mean, I feel like you owe me that.

You really expect me to act like

nothing ever happened?

No, I've already forgiven you.

It's water under the bridge.

Stay there.

- You don't want it to go down like this.

- Oh, it's going down like this.

I'm warning you.

Hey, I'm trembling.

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