Lost in Alaska Page #5

sake that this is going to be a wedding...

and not a double-cross.

Sorry we can't wait until you boys locate another

sled. The sooner we get started, the better.

Right. Fellas, we'll move the gold and

meet you at the Mukaluk Eskimo village.

- But suppose we can't buy a sled?

- Then you better get one someway, somehow.

It's not safe for you to be in this town once

the old-timers find out Rosette and me are gone.

But we don't know how to

get to Mukaluk.

I'll have Gloria take you.

Gloria?

Gloria, my lead dog. Why she

can find Mukaluk blindfolded.

I had a girl once by the name

of Gloria. Come on, Gloria.

Well, so long, boys. See

you in Mukaluk. So long.

Mush!

Well, first we've gotta

get some dogs now.

Let's go up north.

Why?

That's where the Pole is.

So what?

Dogs like cold weather.

Oh, yes. Yes. Come on.

He just started out. Stay

with 'em, but not too close.

Ha!

Aw, he got away. That's the

fourth one that got away.

Hey, wait a minute.

There's another one. Shh.

Here, pooch. Here, pooch. Come on, poochie.

Aw, he recognized us.

Word must've got around.

He went in there.

Hold that.

Ooh! Hey, I got it by the tail.

Bring him out.

Hey, there's another one in here. I got

another one by the tail. Two of'em? Good.

I got two of'em by the tail.

Well, come on. Here's the bag.

Whoo, these little son of a guns are puttin'

up a stiff battle. Come on. Give 'em to me.

Come on.

Get the bag.

Oh!

What do you mean, you?

Don't lose 'im.

Maybe he's got a friend.

Where'd he go?

Huh?

There he goes!

Come on.

Now, he's around here somewhere. You watch

around here, I'll go over and look around here.

Oh, why don't you get with

your father or something?

You see the dog?

I saw a lot of crabs.

Live crabs and they hurt.

They had me by the fingers.

Aw, why don't you

stop that nonsense?

Alaskan crabs?

Those little things, they don't hurt ya.

Afraid of an ordinary, little crab. Where's

your nerve? What's the matter with you?

You wanna see these? Naw, I don't worry

about them. I'm not afraid of crabs. I-I...

Ohhh!

Must of saw another...

Ooh!

Well, that's that. Now let's

sneak out before the town wakes up.

- Are the dogs all hitched?

- Everything's all ready.

I don't know if I'm doing right

getting into this sleigh.

What are you talking about? This is

the fastest dog team in the whole world.

What do you mean? Get a load of

all my dogs. See the first dog?

Yeah. That's Butch. Then there's George.

Then there's Albert. Then

there's Gene. Then there's Joe.

What makes 'em so fast?

You see the lead dog?

Yes.

Her name is Gloria.

Oh, come on.

Let's get going.

How do you work this? Well, you

just, uh, put one foot on the runner,

and take the whip, snap it,

you know, and holler "mush. "

Okay.

Come on.

Oatmeal!

I said "mush. "

It's the same thing.

Oatmeal!

Hey! Wait for me.

Good. You got the idea

right away.

You idiot! Stop the sled.

Don't tell me, tell them.

Alex, shut the door.

There's a draft.

George. George, where are you?

Where are you?

I'm over here.

Over here where?

Over here. Where are you?

Over here where?

I'm over where here? You?

I guess when we hit those flour bags,

we must've blacked out.

I think we whited out.

Wh-Where's the sled?

I don't know.

Hey, wait a minute.

What's this? Here we are.

There's the sled. Where's

the dogs now? The dogs.

The dogs there?

The dogs!

What's the matter?

No dogs.

No dogs...

and look where we are.

You know what this means?

We're lost in Alaska.

Snow and ice. Ice and snow. Snow and ice.

Wait a minute. I'm here too, you

know. I'm here beside the snow and ice.

Us... You're here? Why, stupid, you know

it gets as cold as 50 below zero here?

I got news for you. I don't care if

it was 100 below zero, I came prepared.

What do you mean? I got

something to show you, baby.

I don't care how cold it is.

Better have something, boy.

Hot water bottles. Keep me

warm. Hot water bottles up here?

Hot...

Get a load of that. What's the matter

with you? Where are your brains?

Where-Where I always have 'em. Aw,

stop up there. You have no brains.

Get a load of this.

And if you did have any brains,

they'd probably be frozen

as solid as this ice.

Solid. Solid ice, just like

your brains. Look at that.

And as thick as your brains. All ice.

You oughta be ashamed of yourself.

That explains a lot of things.

For instance? Help me

get this one off, will ya?

- Never mind. Keep it on there and suffer.

- Get it off.

If we could only find some grass. I don't mind

getting the hot seat, but the cold seat, I don't like.

If we could only find some grass...

or maybe a tree! Hey, a tree.

Yeah. If we could only find

a tree we could find the dogs.

Find the dogs and we find a tree.

Come on. Come on!

You're the laziest guy I've ever... All right,

get up in front there and pull. I'll push.

Huh? Go ahead. Get up there and pull.

Why do I always have to pull? Because

you haven't got brains enough to push.

Now go on, pull. Well,

pull it! Come on. Pull it.

Pull it!

- Attaboy. Come on.

Pull it up!

- What are you doing?

Come on now, pull it.

Come on. Get up on your feet.

Now go ahead, pull it.

Come on! Heave!

Pull it. Come on.

Now you're doing it. Attaboy.

Come on, George.

We've only got a little more way to go.

Maybe we better go around. Look,

brainless, there is no way around.

Now, pull.

Come on.

Wh-Whoa!

Pull me up!

- Now what's wrong with you?

- Hey, I think we oughta change places.

I give you the easy job, and

what do you do? You complain.

No-no-no!

I still think

we oughta change places.

Quit dragging your feet,

I need help.

That's what I said.

Now stop hollering

and start pulling.

Hey, Tom,

a dog just come out of this one.

What? Hey, a dog was swimming in there.

You're crazy.

Hey, Tom.

What?

There's another dog in there.

That's ridiculous. Now we've gotta catch some

fish to save our supplies. Now get some fish.

I can't do any fishing.

My hands are cold.

How can your hands be cold with

those thick blue gloves you have on?

These ain't gloves.

Th-That's my skin. I'm cold.

Well, take your skin off.

Whoo.

Hey, Tom.

What?

Now, don't lie to me. You think we'll

ever get back to San Francisco safe?

- Now, don't lie.

- I don't know, George. It looks bad.

They may find our bodies up here in the snow...

after the polar bears get through with us.

Tom.

What?

- Go ahead, you can lie to me if you want.

- Listen, I used to love bears.

I remember when I used to go hunting bear in

San Francisco. Did you ever go hunting bear?

Always had clothes on. Well, you

gotta have clothes on to hunt bear.

Well, if you hunt bare,

how can you have clothes on?

Do you know what bears are?

I'm talking about a bear.

You go bear hunting, you go

bearhunting. You hunt bear.

Same thing. I used to go

hunting for reindeer.

Reindeer?

Reindeer.

- Did you ever hunt deer?

- Yes, sweetheart.

Oh, stop. You're getting silly.

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