Lost in America Page #8

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DAVID:

How do you know?

NANCY:

Trust me.

David approaches the desk again. He takes out fifty

dollars. He puts it in the Clerk's hand, like he's

shaking hands with him.

DAVID:

Hello, again.

(slips him the

fifty)

Do me a favor? I've worked with

computers. I know what can happen.

Sometimes these things get fouled

up. Would you check one more

time?

Maybe the bridal suite was empty

and the room next to it was occupied

and the computer got mixed up.

CLERK:

(takes a look)

I know what you mean. That can

happen sometimes. Let me check.

(he looks at the

reservation com-

puter for a moment)

Nope. It's occupied. These are

state-of-the-art computers. Very

rarely do we have those kind of

mistakes.

DAVID:

You're sure?

CLERK:

Yes. Says right here, "Bridal

Suite full."

Nancy leans over and whispers to David.

NANCY:

Give him more.

DAVID:

Jesus. Really?

Nancy nods yes. David turns back to the Clerk.

DAVID:

(continuing)

Listen, I'm not very good at this.

I don't get good seats in shows

because of this problem. I don't

get good tables in restaurants.

I've really never been good at

this particular kind of exchange

of money so, how much do you

want?

CLERK:

A hundred dollars.

DAVID:

Fine.

(hands him more cash)

Here you go. A hundred.

Now, I assume we don't have to

continue this computer talk

again and say that it's working

now and everything?

The Clerk doesn't even bother to answer. He reaches

behind the desk and hands David his key.

CLERK:

Here you are, eight-twenty.

He rings for the porter.

DAVID:

Now, this is the best bridal

suite?

CLERK:

Heart-shaped bed. Everything.

You'll love it.

DAVID:

Thank you very much. I'm sure

the hundred doesn't apply towards

the room at all.

CLERK:

You're kidding, right?

DAVID:

Of course. I was kidding all

along.

David and Nancy leave the desk and walk towards the

elevator.

DAVID:

(continuing)

Tell me we didn't do the right

thing, getting out of this horrible

society? Jesus Christ, I told the

guy we dropped out. Did that make

any difference? No. I said we're

making a statement. What did he do?

Stare at me. I said we're getting

remarried. What does he finally

say? Give me more money. God!

How does a guy like that even live?

NANCY:

Well, think of all the people

checking in here. Everyone giving

him a hundred dollars, he probably

lives well.

DAVID:

No, I meant with himself. How

does he... Never mind.

CUT TO:

23INT. BEDROOM SUITE - DESERT INN

David and Nancy enter. Apparently, the hundred

dollars was not quite enough. This could not be

Desert Inn's best bridal suite. This looks like the

junior bridal suite, at best. At one end of the room

are two twin heart-shaped beds. Above them, there's a

mirror, heavily-flocked with gold specks. The rest of

the room is decorated in standard red velour. Nancy is

disappointed. David is confused. He can't figure out

how any manufacturer could make a living turning out

twin heart-shaped beds.

PORTER:

I'll go down and get your luggage

for you. Where is it?

DAVID:

That's okay. It's locked in our

house. I'll get it later. Thank

you very much.

David reaches into his pocket and gives the man a dollar.

DAVID:

(continuing)

I haven't been here in years. I

hope this is enough. If it isn't,

take some from the clerk. I gave

him a hundred.

The Porter looks at David and walks out without saying

a word.

NANCY:

So? What do you think?

DAVID:

I think if Liberace had children,

this would be their room. Cute

little hearts, aren't they?

NANCY:

We should ask for a bigger bed.

DAVID:

Let's hold onto the cash we have.

I don't want any more favors.

We can try and push these together.

They try but they find very quickly that hearts don't

fit together. After a few attempts, they give up.

DAVID:

(continuing)

Look, we can crawl over the

ventricles when we want to have

sex. It'll be exciting. Why

don't you order something up,

okay? Order up a great meal and

some great champagne. I'll go

run the bath.

David walks into the bathroom. Nancy sits down on the

bed. She picks up the room service menu and starts to

read through it. She calls to David.

NANCY:

How's the bath?

DAVID:

(walking out of

the bathroom)

There's no bath in there, honey.

NANCY:

Come on.

DAVID:

I have no reason to lie to you.

Go look for yourself. There's a

very teeny, heart-shaped

shower and a medium sized, heart-

shaped sink. At best, we can

wash our socks together.

NANCY:

Are you disappointed?

DAVID:

Not at all.

NANCY:

Maybe we shouldn't order room

service. We should get dressed

and go down and check out some

of these restaurants. Hey, do

you want to see a show?

DAVID:

I don't want to leave the room.

I just want to be with you tonight,

here. It's our honeymoon. We

should order up like we planned

and then we can figure out a way

to make love. Somewhere in this

room, there has to be space.

NANCY:

Okay.

(gets up and walks

toward the bath-

room)

I'm going in to take a nice hot

shower, okay?

DAVID:

Good. You get nice and sexy

because when you come out, we'll

pack and leave.

NANCY:

Come on. We're going to have fun.

DAVID:

I'm joking with you. Now, hurry

up, I'm getting horny. When you

come out, I'll be the naked one

on the right heart. I might even

be looking at myself in the mirror

and masturbating. Although, I

don't think I can see myself

through all this gold flock.

CUT TO:

24 SHOT OF ALARM CLOCK

It's ringing. The time is five-thirty A.M. As we

PULL BACK we see David reaching over and shutting it

off. He rolls over towards the other heart bed.

DAVID:

Rise and shine, my darling wife.

(singing to the

tune of "My Fair

Lady")

We're getting married this morning.

We're...

He stops singing. She doesn't seem to be in the other

bed. The room's still a little dark. Maybe David isn't

seeing clearly yet. He's patting all over the bed.

DAVID:

(continuing)

Nancy? Honey?

He realizes she's not there. He gets up and walks

towards the bathroom.

DAVID:

(continuing)

Honey? Are you in there? Nancy?

There's no answer. Obviously, she's not in the bathroom.

Possibly, she's gone down the hall to get ice. He opens

the door and calls down the hall.

DAVID:

(continuing)

Honey? Nancy? Are you at the

ice machine?

He goes back into the room. He picks up the phone. A

WOMAN'S VOICE answers.

WOMAN'S VOICE

May I help you?

DAVID:

Yes. I'd like to page Nancy

Howard, please.

WOMAN'S VOICE

And where would she be? Do you

have any idea?

DAVID:

Probably in the coffee shop.

David sits and waits. After a short pause:

MAN'S VOICE

Hello?

DAVID:

Hi, honey. Had a sex change, huh?

(laughs at his joke)

I think you picked up the wrong

phone. I'm paging my wife.

MAN:

You're married to Nancy Howard?

DAVID:

Yes.

MAN:

Why don't you come down to the

casino?

DAVID:

Why? Is there something wrong?

MAN:

Your wife has been gambling for

quite some time and possibly, you

should speak with her.

DAVID:

What do I have to say to her? Is

she winning?

MAN:

Why don't you just come downstairs?

DAVID:

(hangs up the

phone)

Oh my God!

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