Lost Valentine

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Who the...

Stay here, don't do anything, OK?

Valentine, Valentine, don't

do this... it's crazy, you hear?

Good evening, Lithuania

Just like every year on February 14th,

this is our special Valentine's Day show!

And as strange and unexpected as it may

seem, today we are talking about... what?

About love!

Excuse me, but why do

you find that strange?

Skaiva, come one, how much can you

keep talking about the same old thing.

What do you mean how much-you can

talk about love every day, all year long

So just try to imagine, if we had to talk about

love every day, that's the same thing as...

You wrote a book?

I wrote one too.

A textbook for math students.

You know how much I paid in taxes?

You know, my neighbor-an old

communist - he rents 3 apartments.

So you know how much he

pays in taxes? Half a percent.

Well, admit it, it doesn't make

sense. 51% versus 0.5 %

I mean, this is a book-you have to be able to

think, create, you have to have an education.

And that-half a percent...

It doesn't make sense.

I mean, these girls come in to take exams.

All plumped up, pretty, perfume, fur...

God, it's all got to cost a

thousand euros, at least.

But look at it from my point of view -

I'm a lecturer, an associate professor,

and I can't afford that, but they can.

I watch movies; You know

what pisses me off the most?

There's some AI Pacino or

De Niro or someone, you know?

But I mean, they're already

old men. Come on!

And then some little thing happens and bang

he's got a young girl throwing herself at him.

At least half his age.

But this-come on, tell me-is this normal,

like some kind of common

denominator, something to aspire to?

Is this considered good?

Professor, do you have a wife?

Haven't for a long time.

Sit down.

Thank you.

Sit down properly.

...OK, OK, let's leave it alone and

answer the simple question -

what Valentine's Day means to each of us.

Well the answer is simple-tratata.

Aistis, that is so low, grow up for once.

How is that low, what's so

low, today is the day when.

So, me and my wife, you know?

I say to her, why do you

need so many rags.

I mean, there's one or two and that's it, but she

has them all over the place, I mean, wherever...

And the way she peels

potatoes. Right in the sink.

I tell her-well it doesn't make sense, peel

them right into the trash, why do two jobs...

No - she says-that's not

how I'm used to doing it.

So it doesn't make sense.

At home she takes 3

dishes and washes them.

There's a perfectly good dishwasher

I tell her-put them in there,

we have enough dishes at

home, we can feed 80 people...

It doesn't make sense...

Go on, go on.

These days broads expect

men to be like broads,

and then those same broads get all

upset that there aren't any men.

Well it doesn't make sense.

So tell me, professor,

what's going to happen

if they're all standing at the stove with

aprons, washing dishes... Paternity leave...

A man, he has to be a man, he has to work, he has to

be in charge, make money, write a book, after all.

Well, I don't know, it doesn't make sense.

Professor, I don't think I

love my wife anymore.

Skaiva, what does Valentine's

night mean to women?

Mindaugas, to most women, Valentine's night is, I

don't know, something like a night of miracles.

Well of course, I mean, there's tratata!

Aistis, don't make such a

big deal of that, come on...

OK, OK, my understanding

of a miracle is very simple.

Like on Christmas Eve, water

turns to wine. It's a miracle.

Animals speak - now that's a miracle!

Valentine's Day should be

spoken by all of our hearts.

Yeah, and if they got up they would say.

What are you getting up again, come on, why do

you always have to go on about the other end;

?f our hearts could speak, they would

tell us if that love is really real,

if we're in love or if we're

just pretending to be.

OK, point-blank, what love really is

answer that and you get the Nobel Prize.

I'll answer that for you, easy: Love can be all kinds,

it can be diverse, it can be very, like, youthful,

it can be wild, it can be extremely passionate

and crazy, and it can be boring, right?

It can be routine.

OK, and there can also be love for money.

Well yeah.

Yeah, of course.

He bought it.

Me?

Hey, listen, there are

people who think, like-

I don't have feelings, but I have a lot

of money and can buy everything.

And it's not like that at all,

because you really can't buy love.

Aistis has a phone number.

I have a phone number.

Guys, there's no such thing as love without

trust, without sincerity, without...

Well obviously, but with tratata.

Do you know the formula for love?

Yes.Tra-ta-ta.

No. 1 +1 equals...?

Three, later.

No, 1 +1 equals 1, because, for

example, when a person loves,

that is, then two people become like one.

One feeling, one love.

I sleep with my wife,

but I think about her.

I eat with my wife, but I think about her.

I watch basketball, but

I still think about her.

And what do you think,

does she think about you?

No, wait, I'm not an idiot, I understand

it's only to get a better grade.

Look at it from my point of view, I'm no

longer at an age where I can be arrogant

when a black swan like

her proposes it herself.

She even gave me her card, see, look.

Contact psychotherapy.

I don't know, maybe that's

what it's called these days.

And I understand that my wife could find it, but I

don't throw it out, I can't throw it out, you know?

All I need to do is close my eyes

and I can see her with me...

Doctor, my marriage is falling apart,

and I'm thinking about her b*obs.

Tell me about that.

About what?

About her b*obs.

So you're serious.

Well yeah.

So why did you even bring me here?

What do you mean, why? The tickets

have been paid for, the hotel is reserved,

go there, spend some time with yourself.

Oscar, we've been planning

this trip for 3 months.

You're the one who's been planning; I

bought the tickets and forgot about it.

I'm telling you-important

stuff has come up.

On Valentine's Day.

Don't start; Valentine's Day, not

Valentine's Day, who cares.

Listen, I have a bunch of serious

people standing behind me,

and if they say that lam now a

public figure, that I'm vulnerable,

then I have to be careful and at least

officially get my life together. Officially.

I don't understand, what

are you talking about here?

Well, kiddo, I have to go see the president

on Monday, get photographed, shake her hand.

And I have to do that with

my significant other.

Well, sorry, but this time it's

not with you. You have to wait.

Well I don't want to wait anymore.

Listen Sandra, dammit, are you trying

to annoy me on purpose, huh?

What part don't you like? I pay for your

apartment, I pay for your studies,

I got you an internship with

Valentine, at the best clinic in Vilnius,

and you still just whine, whine, whine...

Oscar, I don't want to wait anymore!

Sandra, dammit, you

better be more careful.

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