Lottery Ticket Page #9

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You want ice cream?

Get in line like everybody else.

-l don't want no damn ice cream!

It's good. Look, good as new.

-What's wrong with you? Get off me!

Kevin!

Damn.

Hey.

Just the man l wanted to see.

Kevin, take a ride with me.

Few things l wanna talk over.

-lt's all right if l don't?

-No, not really.

Get in the car.

-Okay, Kevin, l'm coming with you.

-Come on.

Stay right there.

First of all, let me apologize for that

incident outside the church the other day.

l mean, that was entirely my fault.

l should've never let you out of my sight.

From now on...

...wherever you go...

...l go.

Speaking of the church...

...is Jimmy the Driver gonna be all right?

Is he gonna pull through?

-He'll live.

-Okay.

He won't be on solid food for a while...

...and he probably will never

father children...

...but, hey, what can you do?

Ahem. Sweet Tee...

...how would you feel

if somebody owed you money

Not me.

- and they couldn't pay you back?

Off the top of my head?

l'd probably, uh...

...saw his legs off at the kneecaps...

...and then grind them

into hamburger meat.

And then l'd feed them to

my two 100-pound bullmastiffs.

Then l would force that guy

to watch them eat it.

That's pretty gnarly sh*t, ain't it?

Yeah, that's dastardly, l know it.

l saw that in the Philippines,

that's what gave me the idea.

Yeah, you ain't never heard a man scream

until you've heard him scream like that.

You've never heard a man throw up

the way l'm gonna throw up right now.

Not in my Bentley.

-Damn it, get out!

-All right.

Close my door.

Try to feel better.

l'll be around keeping my eye on you.

And remember...

...wherever you go, l go.

Let's go.

-He's gonna kill me.

-He said that?

No, not exactly.

He said he was gonna cut my legs off...

...then feed them to the dogs.

Don't pump it up. He said

he'd cut you off at the kneecaps.

Kevin, you have to give back

all his money.

lt ain't that simple.

l spent it.

-What?

-Yeah.

How did you spend $100,000

in one day?

lt's not hard as you might think.

l got some earrings.

You're just gonna have to return

all that stuff you bought.

The same way you got into this mess...

...is the same way you're gonna

have to get yourself out of it.

What?

Nothing. It's just that that's

the same thing Mr. Washington told me.

-Mr. Washington, the serial killer?

-Exactly.

Stop talking to him.

We're already in enough trouble.

Stop, all right?

Because he's not a serial killer.

Wait a minute.

lt was Semaj.

-lt was Semaj!

What about Semaj?

No. That's why l'm in

this mess right now.

Because of him.

He told everybody about my ticket.

l'm not following.

What does Semaj have to do with it?

Get up! We gotta leave, now.

Yo, man, if you're trying to do

what l think you gonna do...

...you must be out your damn mind.

So if the one he stole was fake...

...what was your whole nervous

breakdown about earlier today?

Running all over town,

cursing Lorenzo's name...

...knocking folks over...

...and ruining ice cream cones?

Had to make it look real, right?

Even had you fooled.

You.

What?

Slow down and tell me that

one more time.

He did what now?

Yeah, baby. Yeah, baby.

Man, that is the aroma of the beef.

Y'all just hating.

Hell, no. l'm going vegetarian.

Did you make the potato salad too?

Kevin, you want something to drink?

No, l'm all right. l'm cool.

Hey, this my mama recipe.

Y'all better back off.

You think you slick?

You little b*tch.

Think you gonna get over on me?

Oh, man. Oh, come on, Lorenzo.

You see how big this nigga look

right now?

lt's a family barbecue.

Grab a plate, get something to eat, all right?

We got potato salad, get you a piece

of chicken. Chill out, you know

Oh, it's that type of party? Okay.

It's that type of party.

Come on, Kev, throw one on him.

What's up?

First, l'm about to tell you

what's gonna go down.

First, l'm gonna beat your ass

till l get tired.

And l ain't never gonna get tired.

Then l'm gonna take that ticket,

the real ticket, and walk up out of here.

Look, l'm gonna tell you like this, man.

You want my ticket?

You gonna have to take my ticket, dog.

Straight up.

Be a man. That's right. That's right, Kev.

You gonna have to back up, Lorenzo.

lt ain't going down like that today.

You gonna have to back up, man,

before l bust a cap in your ass, man.

Shoot me, ''man.''

Get over here.

Cognac, nigga?

Not the homeboy.

Kev, l'm gonna let you handle that.

Look out.

Oh, what now?

You know who l am?

-He don't know.

-Yeah, l know who you are.

Then you must know l don't play.

Now, this young man...

...happens to be my business partner

and a close personal friend of mine.

l think he's about tired of you

harassing him.

And frankly, so am l.

Look, l ain't got no beef with you.

This is between me and him.

But you do need to know...

...that he's gonna get

his ass whupped today.

And l'm gonna leave with that ticket.

Now, you see, that's the problem

with young folk today.

Absolutely no courtesy.

No respect!

Ooh!

Damn! Took all day

to make that potato salad!

Now, y'all can keep on partying

or go home.

There ain't gonna be no fight here today.

That's it.

Look at this punk ass.

And y'all said he was supposed to be

some kind of a tough guy.

You know what l'd do

with a b*tch like you in my ''cellie''?

Make you snuggle up with me at night.

And l squeeze your balls.

l squeeze.

And l squeeze!

Oh, man!

Oh, hell, no. This nigga's some kind

of goddamn superthug.

-Tee! Get up, Tee.

Go home, Lorenzo!

Now, where were we?

Oh, snap.

Come on, Kev.

Yeah, man, hit him back!

My grandmama hit harder than you.

Get back.

-That's right, kid. Whup his ass.

-That's right.

Come on, man. Come on.

Jesus, l can't

Stay down!

Just stay down.

l gotta give it to you.

You got a lot of heart.

But heart only gets you so far, son.

Don't give it to him, Kevin.

What say we do this old school?

Yo!

Pick a number between one and 10.

Pick!

Three.

All right. That's how many seconds you got

to hand it over before l start blasting.

-Come on.

-Counting down.

Three. Two.

All right.

Lorenzo, you should be ashamed!

-l was hoping l'd get to use this.

You know what?

l'm gonna hold onto both of these.

Just in case...

...you got a little funny with the tickets.

Nice doing business with you.

Oh, before l forget....

B*tches didn't fit anyway.

Say, young blood.

You like that, huh?

That's good work.

Somebody read him a bedtime story.

Mr. Washington?

You're the man, Mr. Washington.

Yeah, Mr. Washington!

He's a bad mother - Shut your mouth.

Didn't l tell you?

l hear everything. Everything.

Come on, out of here, Bobby Brown.

l know you got it.

Now, lookie here, boy.

Keep ahold of these things.

You put them in a safe place. You hear?

-All right?

-All right.

Safe place.

There's a lot of crazies around here.

All right.

Still got it.

You let them know l still got it, right?

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