Love Affair Page #2

give you information.

Thank you.

Tahiti, Fiji or Hawaii?

Go with what you know. I know Tahiti.

They're all 2 or 3 days away.

Days?

Forget Sydney for me.

- Really?

- Yeah.

I gotta call New York.

Do the ships have phones?

- Sometimes.

- Really?

Well... congratulations.

- For what?

- Lynn Weaver.

Tell her from me

she has a gallant fianc?

I know Hawaii, so have a nice trip.

Thank you. You, too.

Don't get too disoriented.

Terry, I want you to read this

and give me your opinion.

Chernobyl. That's good. Chernobyl.

That cloud went around the earth.

Want hear a poem? Listen to this:

Oh, Chernobyl cloud

Chernobyl cloud

What did you do?

Yesterday I had one head

Today I have two

Excuse me.

This boat does stop at Raiatea?

Raiatea, Tangiroa,

Huahine and Morea.

- Is Raiatea the first stop?

- Can we talk?

I'd like to make a phone call

to Sydney.

No telephone! Send telegram.

How do I send one?

Form in stateroom.

Fill out. Hang on door.

- Do you happen to have a form?

- Form in stateroom. Fill out!

I understand! I'm asking nicely,

do you have a form?

It's 5:
30. If you don't go to bed...

...we'll sleep all day tomorrow.

The toilet in my room doesn't flush!

Good morning, Miss MclKay.

Welcome to our beautiful Belorussia.

You'll be in stateroom 21.

What happened to Hawaii?

It was another 4 hours.

- That's terrible!

- I know.

Where is the telephone?

There is none.

There's radiotelegraph.

You fill out the form

and hang it on the door.

Will you be sure Miss MclKay's bags

go to her room?

- Excuse me.

- Oh, hello.

Smooth.

We can work our way around here.

- Is this uncomfortable for you?

- What?

Given our history and...

I don't think we want

to give people the wrong idea.

- Why ask for trouble?

- Right.

- You do attract attention, you know.

- As do you.

- And very deservedly, I might add.

- Thank you.

But I'm nothing if not discreet.

That's common knowledge.

If it were, you wouldn't be discreet.

I'm fine with our history.

Thank you.

- You know what it is? Your hair.

- Longer.

- It was a lot longer.

- Now it's longer.

That's what I mean.

But there's more red in it.

- Not really.

- No, not really.

It probably looks more red

because it's longer.

But that's not how I get a sense

of someone. This is my room.

There's 21.

Mike, you were nice on the plane.

You serious?

Let me ask you,

when you think about us...

...what do you remember most?

We only saw each other once.

You tripped on a bag

in front of a hotel as I got a cab.

We never met.

Beautiful luggage.

I do have a weakness for nice things.

Me, too. Nice things are nice.

Better get to work

on those telegrams.

He says, it's honor

to have you all aboard.

That we are proud to offer help

in moment of crisis.

- We love Americans.

- Watch.

We were in Hawaii last year...

...at the same hotel as Alex Trebeck.

- Really?

- Don't drink the water.

Hey, the coach is here!

Mr. Gambril, I'm the captain.

On behalf of captain,

welcome to our happy table.

- Herb, Nora.

- And you know...

We met briefly.

- Miss...?

- MclKay.

- Nice to see you again.

- Certainly nice to see you again.

Please, sit there.

Over there is good, too.

Wally Tripp.

Good to meet you.

Radiotelegram.

If you don't make a friend of TV

it exploits your misery.

You're miserable, you watch TV,

you escape, you see more misery.

- Violence, war...

- I tell you, TV has been good to me.

Mike, you're in local TV now, right?

You have to make a friend

of television.

$ 75?

Small school, tiny school,

no money, no bucks.

How do you say, "You can be great?"

- What's the toughest thing?

- Getting them to listen?

- Or getting them to think?

- The great ones don't.

What do you mean?

They react.

They don't have to think.

What're you talking about?

Are you saying a football player

is greater if he doesn't think?

I like watching you move.

Excuse me.

Basically, I'm in TV, too, now.

Hey, you.

Hi, how are you?

See the heavyset guy at the bar

with a camera?

He was traumatized by the landing

last night. He's so sweet.

I couldn't even get him

to come to the table.

- I can do that.

- Would you?

I'll do that for you.

That's so nice of you.

What are you doing?

Watching you move.

I saw what was going on

with you and the captain.

I'm not gonna put up with it

another moment, understand me?

They may be pretty faces,

but they're shallow.

Thank you, dear, I just...

I needed to hear you say that.

Did she fall for it?

The silly story of the plane going

down and moving to a Russian ship.

She doesn't ask a lot of questions.

- Is that good?

- I think so.

You don't play around, do you?

No, but I think I might have to if

I were involved with someone like you.

But you wouldn't.

You're way too fussy.

- Fussy?

- Cautious.

Playing around is like this.

Too much is bad for you,

but a little raises the HDLs.

- HDLs?

- Good for the heart.

Is it?

I think that might be

difficult for you.

Is that so?

It might be.

But you can get a little wet,

even if you're fussy.

Miss MclKay.

Radiotelegram.

I'll be right back.

Alka-Seltzer, for headache.

My wife has a headache.

It's me.

It's me.

Hello, honey.

- She was drunk.

- You're drunk.

- I'm not drunk!

- I see you're drunk.

- You're at the bar, flirting.

- I do not flirt!

You do flirt!

You gonna marry him?

Forget that.

What do you mean, a sailboat?

A coat or a dress I can understand.

But a sailboat?

That's what I'm doing in Sydney.

I'm decorating a sailboat.

- A red one.

- You're a decorator?

I'm a musician.

What do you play?

Piano, I guess.

I don't know. I teach it.

But I also write songs and I sing.

You sure sound like you sing.

Yeah, I sing.

I'm big. I'm very big.

Ray Charles sings, "You got the right

one" and someone goes, "Uh-huh"...

...in certain South American

countries, that's me.

Also, I have dabbled in waitressing...

...but at the apex of my music career

and my food service career...

...I met a man and I helped him

decorate his apartment in New York.

Then I decorated his Hampton house

and his house in Palm Beach.

Then I decorated his apartment

in Sydney.

If his acquisition

of Virgin succeeds...

...I'm sure I'll decorate something

in London.

But at the moment, it's a sailboat.

It's red. It's nice.

- You gonna marry him?

- Yeah, I guess. I hope so.

I'm madly in love with him.

What?

Come here.

All right?

- I really should go.

- No, don't.

I think so. I think so.

- Don't think.

- Right.

The great ones don't, huh?

- How you doing?

- How are you?

I'd like to send the lady a drink.

A glass of tomato juice, two raw eggs

and a shot of vinegar.

About last night...

Listen...

You don't want to mess up your life

any more than I do mine.

Well...

You can get a small plane tonight

to Tahiti, then to Sydney.

This boat will take two days to reach

an airport. You can get there tonight.

I'm gonna run along.

Big shuffleboard game?

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