Love and Death

How I got into this predicament,

I'll neverknow.

Absolutely incredible.

To be executed fora crime

I never committed.

Of course,

isn't all mankind in the same boat?

Isn't all mankind ultimately executed

for a crime it never committed?

The difference is

that all men go eventually,

but I go six o'clock tomorrow morning.

I was supposed to go at fiive o'clock,

but I have a smart lawyer. Got leniency.

I've a tremendous yearning

to be young again.

A boy. Such happy memories

at oursummerhouse.

Uncle Nikolai with his wonderful laugh.

God, he was repulsive.

There was Grandpa and Grandma,

who had been married for 50 years

and still felt as deeply about one another

as the day they met.

And my own father,

a handsome and generous man.

In addition to oursummerand winter

estate, he owned a valuable piece ofland.

True, it was a small piece. But he carried

it with him whereverhe went.

Dimitri Pietrovich!

I would like to buy your land.

This land is not for sale.

Some day, I hope to build on it.

He was an idiot. But I loved him.

Then there was mother, who made

the most delicious blintzes in the world.

Of course, there was Old Gregor,

and his son, Young Gregor.

Young Gregor's son

was older than Old Gregor.

Nobody could fiigure out

how that happened.

My two brothers, lvan and Mikhail,

used to play amusing little games.

But I had a completely different

concept ofmyselfas a child.

My fiirst experience with death

was with one ofourserfs, Old Nehamkin.

Old Nehamkin was on the roof, putting up

a lightning rod, when a storm broke out.

After he failed to show up for dinner,

Mother went to look forhim.

What is it, Old Nehamkin?

You're not looking well.

Are you OK? You feel all right?

We laid Old Nehamkin to rest,

and that night

I had a strange and vivid dream.

I knew that after that dream I would

not grow up to be an ordinary man.

I spoke often with FatherNikolai,

who was always dressed in black

with a black beard.

For years

I thought he was an ltalian widow.

Every action has a cause. The universe

exists, therefore it has a cause.

It follows God created the universe,

therefore He exists.

And yet Spinoza didn't believe

in the Holy Trinity.

- Spinoza was a Jew.

- What's a Jew?

You never saw a Jew?

Here. I have some sketches.

- There are Jews.

- No kidding.

- They all have these horns?

- No, this is the Russian Jew.

The German Jew has these stripes.

I recall my fiirst mystical vision.

I was in the woods, thinking about Christ.

IfHe was a carpenter, I wondered

what He'd charge forbook shelves?

Suddenly...

- Who are you?

- Death.

What happens after we die?

Is there a hell? ls there a God?

Do we live again?

All right. Let me ask one key question.

- Are there girls?

- You're an interesting young man.

We'll meet again.

- Don't bother.

- It's no bother.

I grew to full manhood.

Actually, fiive foot six,

which is technically not full manhood

in Russia, but you can own property.

Over 5'3", you can own land. Under 5'3",

you needpermission from the Tsar.

We were three healthy men.

My brotherlvan.

My brotherMikhail.

And myself.

Finally, there was my cousin Sonja.

In addition to being the most beautiful

woman I had everseen,

she was one ofthe fewpeople

I could have deep conversations with.

Boris, look at this leaf. Isn't it perfect?

And this one? Look.

Oh, yeah. I definitely think that

this is the best of all possible worlds.

- It's certainly the most expensive.

- Isn't nature incredible?

To me, nature is... I dunno,

spiders and bugs and,

big fish eating little fish.

And plants eating plants

and animals eating...

It's like an enormous restaurant.

Yes, but if God created it,

it has to be beautiful,

even if His plan's not apparent

to us at the moment.

Sonja, what if there is no God?

Boris Dimitrovitch, are you joking?

What if we're just

a bunch of absurd people

who are running around

with no rhyme or reason?

But if there is no God,

then life has no meaning.

Why go on living?

Why not just commit suicide?

Well, let's not get hysterical.

I could be wrong.

I'd hate to blow my brains out,

then see they found something.

Boris. Let me show you

how absurd your position is.

Let's say there is no God, and each man

is free to do exactly as he chooses.

What prevents you

from murdering somebody?

- Murder's immoral.

- Immorality is subjective.

Yes, but subjectivity is objective.

Not in a rational scheme of perception.

Perception is irrational.

It implies imminence.

But judgment of any system

of phenomena exists

in any rational, metaphysical or

epistemological contradiction

to an abstracted empirical concept

such as being, or to be, or to occur

in the thing itself, or of the thing itself.

Yeah, I've said that many times.

Boris, we must believe in God.

If I could just see a miracle,

just one miracle.

If I could see a burning bush,

or the seas part, or...

Or my Uncle Sasha pick up a check.

We should go back downstairs.

By now

the last golden streaks of the sunset

are vanishing behind the western hills.

Soon the dark blanket of night

shall settle over us all.

Hey, you've been going

to finishing school.

Hey, are you dating any Russians

I should know about?

Well, Minskov has proposed.

And he's very sweet and wealthy.

But the age difference is too great.

I'm 28 and he's 81 .

- Oh, that is big.

- When I'm 50, he'll be 103.

That's a bad age for a man. They slow up.

And Voskovec

has made his intentions clear.

But he deals in herring,

and he always smells of it.

He even bought me

herring-scented cologne.

That's probably

why the cat follows you around.

Love is everything, Boris.

I wanna meet some man

and scale the heights of passion.

Some man who embodies

the three great aspects of love.

Intellectual, spiritual and sensual.

Well, there's not too many of us

around, but it can be done.

- So many women settle cheaply.

- I know. Poor things.

- They marry for money.

- Money! Well, money.

But I feel as though

my life would be wasted

if I didn't love deeply

with a man whose mind I respected,

whose spirituality equalled mine,

and who had the same lustful appetite

for sensual passion that drives me insane.

You're an incredibly complex woman.

I guess you could say

I'm half saint, half whore.

Here's hoping I get the half that eats.

- Boris.

- Yes?

I have a confession to make.

Ever since you and I were little children,

I've been in love with your brother lvan.

It's only nat...

Ivan? You're kidding! He can barely write

his name in the ground with a stick.

He has true animal magnetism.

All that talk about some perfect love

and you're hot for lvan?

- He kissed me.

- Any place I should know?

- It warmed the cockles of my heart.

- Great. Nothing like hot cockles.

I think he's going to propose to me.

But he's a gambler and a drinker,

with a Neanderthal mentality.

I mean, I love him like a brother.

Just not one of mine.

Do you hear that commotion?

Rate this script:4.2 / 5 votes