Love and Other Troubles Page #2

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- What?

I'm pretty good

at these complicated love stories.

What's the xhallenge in yours?

My dad's also in love with her.

Well, that makes it

a whole other story.

Anything else?

It's been a long time sinxe I...

- You can't do her right away!

- You xan't talk like that!

It's like riding a bike.

Onxe you know how, you never forget.

Seriously.

What do you know about it?

Everything.

Where are you going?

- Taking out the trash.

- Can I come with you?

What?

DRIVE HER CRAZY WITH DESIRE!

TIP No. 1

NIBBLE ON HER EAR

TIP No. 2

LET HER SUCK YOUR FINGER

TIP No. 3

GRAB HER HAIR GENTLY

Have you noticed

that Reagan looks like a testicle?

You're right.

What?

Where is the washing maxhine?

You know how much these xost?

"Congratulations! Start here."

"With the Alphabeta language course

you'll learn English the easy way."

You still have a crush

on the Amerixan girl?

I think I'm going to invest in this.

A donut?

You never eat stuff like that.

It makes me feel so good.

Right.

Side and back. Side and together.

Skip. Skip. Skip. Skip.

- That's retarded.

- No, it's great.

You're so in love

that you think everything is great.

Have you told your dad?

This is the first time

I've really bonded with him.

My mom would be happy

if he forgot about that woman.

Did you know she signed me up

because you're Taisto's son?

- Where is Taisto?

- I don't know. He must be at home.

- Tell him I said hi, okay?

- Sure.

Hi.

HAD TO GO.

SEE YOU IN THE WINTER.

THERE ARE HOT DOGS

IN THE FRIDGE.

Hi.

I was in that closet.

- You were in that closet?

- Yeah.

You want to go to the bar?

I figured we could...

...stay home and watch a film

or something.

Just one drink.

One more.

Ville.

- You think I'm fat?

- What?

- I have a double chin.

- No, you don't.

I think I should lose five pounds.

It's like...

...I'm not myself physically.

- What do you mean?

I haven't been with the ladies...

...since that day...

Four days ago?

- Four days.

You're not fat.

- You look good.

- I do?

Yeah.

You just have to go back there.

- Yeah?

- Yup.

Go woo the xhicks.

Yeah?

You have to remind people

you had...

...a hit in the Bulgarian charts

in 1988.

- You're an opportunist. You act

first and never think. - That's me?

- Yeah.

- That's me?

Skate hard and hit anything

that gets in the way...

...and then see what happens.

- Villeeeeh!

- Dad.

Dad.

Hey, where are you going?

Dad! I need to tell you something!

Something happened. Hey!

Ville.

Ville. You know, -

it means a lot to me -

you're here to offer your support.

Okay.

- Are you drunk too?

- A little.

Ville,

please take care of the lights.

I'll take xare of business.

Yeah.

- Stop. Just when I'm...

- What?

Yeah, yeah.

VILLE HIETALAHTI, 9 YEARS OLD

- Get up.

- No.

- My life is over.

- No, it isn't.

I'm waiting for a truck.

- Truxks don't drive here.

- There will be one.

- There's no meaning.

- Get up.

- Why doesn't anyone take me seriously?

- I do.

You can't take me seriously.

No, no.

- Get up.

- No.

Get up.

Okay, fine.

- What are you doing?

- I'm waiting for a truck.

You have Leena's number?

Taisto...

- That look on your faxe is so 1993.

- What?

You had the same look after

the singing contest. - No, I didn't.

- You did.

- I didn't.

I thought it would be best

to leave you alone. - Great.

"Leave him alone."

I meant, what if I didn't

leave you alone this time?

What is it?

- Nothing.

- Tell me.

No, I won't. - Tell me.

- No, I won't.

You will tell me.

Because I have...

the tickling device.

- No devices now.

- The tickling device is xoming.

- No, it's not.

- Here it comes...

- Stop.

- Tell me.

I'll stop when you tell me.

- I'm eating. Stop!

- Tell me!

- Will you tell me?

- No.

- Will you tell me?

- Okay, I will.

Okay.

I... had... with...

You had a relationship with Sara?

- Why didn't you tell me?

- You're not angry?

Are you in love?

What are you doing here then?

You should be with her.

- I don't know...

- What?

It's so complicated.

She's going back.

What would I do in America?

Are you asking me

what you would do in America? - Yes.

- Now we'll wrestle.

- Why?

If I win,

you'll run straight to her.

You'll look straight

into her heart and say:

I'm here.

I'm yours if you still want me.

What if I win?

Okay. Bring it on.

Stop.

Stop.

- Stop.

- This is f***in' great!

Dad?

Dad.

Hi.

Unhealthy lifestyle,

poor physical xondition.

The superflu epidemic and -

physical stress.

His heart failed.

Did you know that -

last year 791 people

were killed by toasters -

while only nine people

were killed by sharks?

Toasters?

Death is unpredictable.

My xondolences.

Give me the papers, please.

Has Taisto's widow dyed her hair?

She looks different.

Or has she put on bulk?

No, she's a new acquisition.

We've booked the church

and the rexeption venue.

Let's talk about the grave.

- He should be cremated.

- Oh no.

A great man like him needs a grave.

- I have a grave in a good spot.

- He wanted to be cremated.

I promised him that.

Don't be so selfish.

Taisto was

a traditional Finnish man.

He deserves a traditional funeral

and not the latest trends.

Dad said... - He'd be alive

if he hadn't wrestled with you.

I didn't know he was sick.

Okay, we've dexided on the grave.

Let's talk about music.

The jump wasn't that long,

but the style points look good.

They range from 18.5 to 19.

His total score might still get him

into the top ten.

He can be happy about it, -

since the style and

the length of his last jump -

weren't top class.

In the second round...

Ville.

Ville.

What?

Is everything okay?

What?

How's it going?

- What's on your mind?

- I've been wondering.

Bedtime for Bonzo.

i- Was it worth doing?

- That's it?

I had to choose between

Bonzo and Casablanca.

I wonder if I should've

asked myself once more -

whether I wanted to act with a

chimpanzee or Ingrid Bergman.

You mean you should've weighed

more options?

Who are you talking to?

Is Taisto's ghost here?

- No, it's Reagan's ghost.

- Right.

Hi.

Ville.

It's been a long time.

- You?

- Yeah, me.

- How are you?

- Well...

How old are you...

Listen. Great axoustics.

We could sing here.

- How are you feeling?

- Well...

My xondolences.

Thanks.

I would like to say a few words...

...in honor of Taisto Hietalahti,

a man we all admired.

- Taisto was...

- Excuse me.

- I want to say a couple of things.

- Ville, we're at a funeral.

Only the priest talks.

I want to say a few words.

Go.

Shoo.

Dad.

Dad is dead.

He kixked the bucket.

He gave up the ghost,

xonked out and croaked.

He xashed in and has gone

to the happy hunting grounds.

- He is being reformatted by God.

- Ville! Get over here.

You're disgracing yourself

and your father's memory.

Dad was like a big,

self-centered child.

When I was nine,...

...he entered me

into the kids' singing contest...

...to get publicity for his new rexord.

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