Love Before Breakfast Page #8

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fooling me. You're just using me to burn him up.

And after several more rude remarks, she

threw the hamper at me. She didn't miss either.

No, sir. Was it because the

others objected to their leaving?

There were no others, madam.

Just the two.

Weren't the Metcalfs with them?

No, madam.

That'll do.

Scott, did you hear that?

Yes. I heard. What about it? I've got to get over

there. We can't leave them unchaperoned all night.

Why not? That's what she

wants, isn't it? Don't you care?

Not a bit. She can do whatever

she likes as far as I'm concerned.

Well, not as far as I'm concerned.

Get me a boat. I'm going over.

You'll do nothing of the kind. It was your idea to change

my party to the yacht, and you're going to stay here.

But if there's a storm coming up-

Let her sit in it. It'll do her good.

Bill, will you stop drinking that wine and get this boat

started. We can't stay here with the storm coming up.

Oh, but we are. We're staying right here

where you can be near the man you love so much.

I'm giving you both a break.

After all, he is my boss.

I've gotta be nice to him.

Fine romance. I come all the way from Japan,

sacrifice my whole future,just for you.

Oh, you came back only because of me.

Certainly I did.

What'd you think I came back for?

I don't know. I had an idea

your boss sent for you.

Well, whatever it was,

I was crazy.

Float ahoy!

Hey, Bob. Come on in.

Beg pardon, miss. Mr. Miller instructed

me to tell you not to be idiots.

The storm is going to be

very heavy.

You can tell Mr. Miller that the idiots can

take care of themselves, storm or no storm.

Tell the old boy to come on over and have a

drink. His girl's crying her eyes out about him.

You won't come, miss?

No, I won't, and get out of here!

Bill, please get up from there. Let's get out of

this cove. I'm afraid the boat's gonna turn over.

That suits me fine.

Bill, I'm scared!

Scott, you've got to do something. They're

in danger. You can't leave her over there.

I offered to help her. That's

all I can do. You're cruel.

I'll see the captain myself.

Afraid it won't do you any good.

Oh, Bill, come on.

We can't stay in here. We'll drown.

No.

Oh, help me, please.

Come on.

We don't want any help!

Go on. Grab the gentleman.

Don't you get on this boat! I don't want

you to get on this boat! Do you hear?

Take your hands off me!

We don't want any trouble.

I'm not gonna get on that boat!

Come on! Get her aboard.

No! I don't want-

Keep your foot in there.

It's a wonder

you weren't drowned.

It's too hot!

That's the way it should be.

I'm going down to get you

a hot toddy.

If you see Scott Miller, you better

warn him to stay away from me.

I doubt if he'll have any time to

see you. He's in a big bridge game.

Keep your feet in there till I get

back. Why, hello, Scott. Come in.

I'm just going down to get something to

ward off her cold. I'll be right back.

You all right? A lot you care. What do you mean

by sending those thugs over to manhandle me?

You didn't expect me to leave my guests just to rush

over and pick up a couple of water-soaked half-wits?

Certainly not. How could I? Besides, think of

the duchess or countess, or whatever she is.

Shouldn't you be getting back to her?

As a matter of fact, I should.

Well, don't let me detain you. And I'm

getting off this boat as soon as possible.

You're getting into that bed as soon

as you get out of that mustard bath.

Who do you think you're talking to?

You heard what I said. You get into that bed and

stay there. I don't want any more annoyance from you.

Oh?

I'll show him.

Where's the thing?

Well, who do you think

you're looking at?

Oh, I'm dying.

Oh.

Oh, poor darling.

This'll fix you up.

Oh,Janey, my head is killing me.

Yes, I know. Now you drink this rock and rye.

It's the best thing in the world for a cold.

Drink it all.

Oh, that's strong. No, it isn't.

Poor lamb. I know it hurts.

Oh! Be careful, honey.

You'll take my cold.

I'll take anything from you, darling.

My mother used to say, "You'll

never get poor from taking. "

Oh. Oh.

There, there.

Ah, but that was nothing to

what happened to me in Calcutta.

I had the fiercest battle

with two polar bears.

They were quarreling over a seal.

Hello, everybody.

Hi, Kay.

How are you feeling, honey?

Never felt better in my-

Brinkie, darling, is this

gonna be our dance? Uh-huh!

Oh, good. Isn't it marvelous

when everybody's so gay?

How do you like my

new coiffure? Parfait.

I thought I told you

to get into bed.

I'll do whatever I please. You will,

huh? We'll see about that, young lady.

Scott! Put me down!

Put me down, you big walrus!

Walrus! That reminds me.

Once I was chasing a flock of"walri. "

Put me down!

I'll put you down.

Now stay there. When I give an order

on this boat, it's usually carried out.

Get out of here! If you were a

man, I'd poke you right in the nose.

Wouldn't that be repeating yourself?

I should have hit you harder.

You have a disposition like a

- You're a schizophreniac. That's what you are.

A what? A schizophreniac! And if you don't

know what it means, you can look it up.

I know the meaning of any

word you can think up. Oh!

Kay, put your feet right back into that

mustard. You want to catch pneumonia?

I don't care what I catch!

Do I have to tie you in this tub?

Put you feet in there.

Now, where's Junior? Junior.

Junior. I bet he's with

that countess's dogs again.

Junior. Junior.

"Schizo-" "Schizo-"

"Schizophreniac. "

"Delusions of grandeur predominate.

Most insane killers are of this class. "

And on top of everything else,

you're a hyperthyroid!

If you don't stop following me around, I'll put

you in irons. That's a job for a full-grown man.

That's a laugh. You talk about full-grown men with

that case of arrested development you're engaged with.

You'll never be half the man Bill is.

I hope not.

You two should be very happy. You're

equally intelligent. You deserve each other.

And we adore each other.

What do you think of that?

That's great. You can spend

the rest of your lives sinking boats,

falling off cliffs or anything else your

feeble minds can concoct! Stop yelling at me,

you button pusher!

You bet I'm a button pusher,

and I'm gonna keep on being a button pusher until

I die, and what's more, you're going to like it!

I'm getting sick of this. Who do you

think you're gonna push around now?

I'm pushing for the captain.

He's going to marry us.

Marry us? I wouldn't marry you

if you were the last man alive.

That's fine.

Oh, do you think he heard you?

For richer, for poorer.

In sickness and in health.

And do you promise to love,

honor and obey this man until-

Just a minute. There's going to be no

obeying in my life. Oh, yes, there is.

There's going to be a lot of obeying. There's going

to be nothing but obeying. But do you take this woman-

If you think you're gonna-

Yes, I do.

And do you take this man to be your

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