Love in the Afternoon Page #7

Item 18:
An Italian vice consul.

Item 19:
A Dutch alcoholic.

More later.

A couple of old friends got into town,

from Stockholm.

I do a lot of business up there.

I'm not surprised. You seem

to have bottling plants all over the world.

Yes. Well, where were we?

- Under the desk, looking for my shoe.

- Look, forget about the shoe.

I've got something on for tonight,

but I could cancel it.

Could you?

I've only a couple more weeks left in Paris.

Why don't we spend them together?

Shut ourselves off completely.

Rip out the phone, barricade the doors...

...we won't set foot out of the hotel,

have all our meals sent in.

No, no waiters. We'll lay

in a supply of canned goods.

- Cases of champagne.

- Mountains of caviar.

- Ice, lots of ice. - Let's have

the gypsies here all the time.

- They can sleep out on the balcony.

- It sounds delightful.

What do you say?

Goodbye, Mr. Flannagan.

Why are you always in such a hurry?

Where do you always go from here?

See you tomorrow at 4:00.

What do you do with your evenings?

Why can't I ever see you in the evening?

- I'm sorry, Mr. Flannagan,

they're all taken. - By whom?

Let's be fair, Mr. Flannagan.

You're just passing through.

I have to take care

of my year- round friends.

What friends? What is your name?

Who are you, anyway?

You know who I am, Mr. Flannagan.

I'm the girl in the afternoon...

...the aperitif,

as we say on the Left Bank.

Dear Mr. Flannagan:

In reply to your inquiry...

...as to the number of men in my life,

here is an itemized list...

...to the best of my recollection.

Item 1:
A redheaded algebra teacher.

Item 2:
A very sweet boy who is now...

...a missionary in

French Equatorial Africa.

Item 3:
A riding instructor...

...formerly a Cossack.

Items 4 to 9 inclusive...

...cover a bicycle tour I took

with a group of exchange students...

...through the Pyrenees.

Item 10:
The duke.

Item 11:
The Alpine guide.

Item 12:
A banker from Brussels.

Item 13:
The chauffeur

of the banker from Brussels.

Item 14:
Export- import.

Item 15:
The bullfighter.

Correction, please.

Between items 14 and 15...

...insert Canadian ice-hockey player.

Item 17:
A Yugoslav sculptor.

Item 18:
An Italian vice consul.

Item 19:
A Dutch alcoholic.

More later.

Item 1:
A redheaded algebra teacher.

Item 2:
A very sweet boy who is now...

...a missionary in

French Equatorial Africa.

Item 3:
A riding instructor,

formerly a Cossack.

Items 4 to 9 inclusive...

Loulou!

What is the matter?

Bad dog! What did you do?

Item 3:
A riding instructor,

formerly a Cossack.

A riding instructor...

...formerly a Cossack.

Items 4 to 9 inclusive,

cover a bicycle tour I took...

...with a group of exchange students

through the Pyrenees.

...a group of exchange students

through the Pyrenees.

...a group of exchange students

through the Pyrenees.

Item 12:
A banker from Brussels.

Item 13:
The chauffeur

of the banker from Brussels.

The chauffeur of the

banker from Brussels.

The chauffeur of the

banker from Brussels.

Item 15:
The bullfighter.

Correction, please.

Between items 14 and 15

insert Canadian ice- hockey player.

More later.

More later.

Taxi!

Turkish bath!

Monsieur Flannagan.

So nice to see you again.

- Hello.

- How have you been?

- None of your business.

- You don't remember me?

I'm the husband,

the foolish husband with the gun!

You might be interested to know that

my wife has forgiven me completely.

I'm not interested.

It's just wonderful.

Like a second honeymoon.

- Good for you.

- You come here often?

- Never.

- When a man sweats in the morning...

...it's either because he's had

a very good night, or a very bad night.

Personally, I've had a very good night.

What's the trouble, Monsieur?

Stock market go down?

Income taxes up?

Baseball?

- Mickey Mantle's in a slump?

- Shut up!

L'amour.

The tender passion, the sweet poison!

Get lost, will you?

Could it be that charming young

lady I met in your apartment?

No, it couldn't be.

She looked so innocent.

Of course, sometimes they fool you.

A girl may look as pure

as freshly fallen snow...

...then suddenly you discover

the footprints of 100 men.

What do you mean, 100 men?

You see, Monsieur, it's the

uncertainty that drives you mad.

I know very well, I was uncertain...

...I was mad, it was terrible.

Now look at me, I'm completely cured.

You're bothering me.

No bother at all, Monsieur.

You need help.

I know just the man who can help you.

Wait, let me get the address.

He's the very best man in Paris,

Monsieur.

A little expensive perhaps, but

he is very thorough, very discreet.

Look, this is a personal problem.

He will solve it for you,

Monsieur, one way or the other.

Either the young lady is innocent,

in which case everything is fine...

...or she is guilty,

in which case I will sell you my gun...

...at a very reasonable price.

Believe me, Monsieur,

I am putting you in very good hands.

Wait for me.

Do you realize

that in the last three weeks...

...you have washed your hair

exactly 17 times?

I find that very suspicious.

You do, Papa?

Especially if you add to it

the flower in the icebox...

...the fur coat in the cello case,

and most important of all...

...the clue of the upside-down

stomach.

Upside- down stomach?

Lately, when I wake you up

in the morning...

...I've observed you have been

sleeping on your stomach.

My tabulations show

that 86%of the women...

...who sleep on their stomachs

are secretly in love.

That's very interesting.

What interests me is,

who could the man be?

The man? Well, it's easy...

- ...Michel.

- I doubt it.

If you look at the palm of your right

hand, you will notice a tiny blister...

...which proves that you've been

carrying the cello case yourself.

It couldn't possibly be Michel.

Who is the man?

There's somebody at the door, Papa.

I'm not asking you as a detective,

I'm asking as a father.

I wish one of you would

open the door.

All right, all right.

You Chavasse, the detective?

Yes.

Sorry to barge in like this,

but you were highly recommended.

This is a great honor.

Come right in, Mr. Flannagan.

You know me?

Do I know you?

Does an art student know Picasso?

This way, please.

Mr. Chavasse, I've got a problem.

I want somebody investigated.

You've come to the right place.

There's this young lady,

almost a girl, I'd say.

She's driving me crazy.

Driving you crazy? That's very funny.

- What's so funny? - Usually

it is you in the driver's seat.

- Please, I've had a rough night.

- Would you like an aspirin?

No, thanks. I want this girl followed,

discreetly. Are you good at it?

Because I don't want her to know.

Monsieur, did you ever know

that you were being followed?

Me? Followed?

- Then I'm very good at it! About my fee...

- Don't worry about the money.

I'm not worried, Monsieur. I mean,

as one businessman to another...

...with the franc the way it is,

up and down...

...I would prefer to be

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