Love of My Life Page #3

---

bring you back to life!

Well, wouldn't that be cruel

under the circumstances?

Okay.

Let's do it.

Co-Worker:
Tada!

Wow.

There's the pond.

And the playground.

No units smaller than 243 square feet.

This is the biggest project I've

ever been lead architect on,

and so much work has gone into it and

we really gave it our all.

Just look at it.

The little cars and

the little people.

Months of work.

And it's...

it-it...

It's sh*t.

[Soft Piano Melody]

[Knocking]

Lorna:
Hey.

You okay?

Yeah.

Yeah, no, I'm fine.

'Cause you-you seem kind of,

um, you know, different.

No, no, no, same old Grace.

You know, if anything's happening,

you can tell me, right?

'Cause I'm your friend.

Well...

I knew it.

Okay.

Tell me everything.

I am a little bit

distracted, because I, uh...

[Stuttering] I've got...

I've got-I've got-

I've got a house guest.

Oh.

Oh, you know what?

That explains everything.

'Cause I had my in-laws

visiting last month,

and I could not wait for that to end.

Okay, is that on Tom's

side of the family?

Uh, more mine.

Right, but I thought your parents were gone

and then you're an only child.

Yeah, actually, it's my first husband.

Oh, Richard Feekery.

So, Richard Feekery is

in your house right now.

I love his books.

Stolen Dreams is

magnificent, 'cause,

like, he just understands women

and those sex scenes, come on.

You must have bonked your brains out

when you were married to him.

Okay, if I were you,

I would sneak into his bed

in the middle of the night

and have my way with him.

'Cause you only live once, right?

Yeah.

'Cause I'm thinking about it,

I can't help it.

Phew!

Is it hot in here?

It's hot, let's open a window.

Thank you for letting me know.

Yeah, her Tolstoy Prize winning ex

is visiting from London.

Some girls don't know

how lucky they are.

Kaitlyn:
So, last

night I told her that

my life is going great.

Is it?

Yes.

And you should do the same because

she can't die in peace if

she's worried that we're losers.

So you agree?

That we're not losers? I don't know.

I think that it's a

little bit early to tell.

We still have a lot of

life to live, look at-

Do you agree that we should

help her die in peace?

Of course I do.

Then why did you tell your father?

They were married.

When they were very young.

And then they were divorced.

He's like

the first guy you ever kissed

at some stupid birthday party

in somebody's basement.

Like, who even remembers him?

Kenny Slitzer.

He was wonderful.

She's supposed to avoid stress.

He said that he wants to be there

at her bedside when it happens.

That is the definition of inappropriate.

He said that she's the love of his life.

My dad is the love of her life,

or she wouldn't have left

your dad for my dad, right?

I guess.

And if someone is the

love of your life,

then by definition you are

the love of their life too.

I don't know.

Our soulmates can't

have different soulmates.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, you're right because

then life would just

be too sad.

Girls.

- Hi, Tom.

- Yeah, Dad?

I've thought of something that'll make

your mom really happy.

I knew you would.

Pizza!

[Alarm Beeping]

Oh, sh*t.

[Beeping]

"We are not afraid of

telling over and over again

how a man comes to love a woman

and be wedded to her".

You're still here?

Richard:
Of course I'm still here.

And suspiciously alone.

Please don't tell me

you murdered my husband

just to have a subject

for your next potboiler.

Nah, they've gone to get pizza.

But,

[Whispering] I think it's

supposed to be like a big surprise.

I love pizza.

Richard, let me say this gently.

Get the f*** out of my house.

I've missed you so much.

I never should have left you.

You didn't leave me.

I left you.

Or at least I threw your

clothes out of the window

and changed the locks.

We could have worked things out.

I don't think so.

Things weren't quite the same

after a drunk woman rang me to tell me

she was f***ing my husband,

it just somehow took the

sparkle out of our marriage.

I don't know why, it just did.

I was an a**hole.

Finally we agree on something.

But you should have waited

for me to stop being an a**hole

instead of getting

yourself knocked up by Tom.

Tom saved my life.

If you hadn't got pregnant,

you never would have divorced me.

Why do women always get pregnant

at such inopportune times,

it should only happen

when the stars are aligned

and true love is present,

not

when the condom breaks.

Kaitlyn was not an accident.

Okay, well, yes, she was.

She was the best accident

that ever happened to me.

You never regret children,

you only regret the men

that fathered them.

You only slept with him for revenge.

Loneliness, lust, revenge,

rank them.

Anyway.

It was so long ago and,

and now I'm happily married and dying.

Not the best time to start dating your ex.

And then you moved here

because you still loved me

and you didn't want to be tempted.

I did not move to

Toronto because of you.

Oh yes, you did.

I did not.

But now I'm here

and

I love you, too.

You don't know what love is.

It requires to occasionally

think about someone else.

You only think about

the ever fascinating Richard Feekery.

Tom is a real person.

Tom knows what love is.

I know what love is.

Tom:
Pizza time!

[Cheery Piano Melody]

You know, this wine you bought, Richard,

it goes really well with pizza.

It's a Chablis Grand Crus, 1987.

Tom:
Yeah? Is it? Well,

I think I'll just

have a little drop more.

Oh, come on, everyone,

stop looking so depressed.

There's no reason to give up hope.

I believe in miracles.

And-and doctors can be wrong.

Do you know 40% of hospital stays

have at least one incident

of medical malpractice?

That's true.

That's very reassuring.

Thank you.

Yeah, it's not what the doctor said.

It's-I just have a bad feeling about this.

And you know,

I'm a little psychic.

Remember, I had that dream about the dog,

and then the following week,

the next door neighbour's dog

was run over by a police car.

And then last summer, I kept saying,

something bad is gonna happen,

something bad's gonna happen,

and-and then they had that

earthquake in Argentina.

Darling, it's so nice to see you.

I want a blow-by-blow

account of your new job.

Zoe has her new career,

and I found the perfect guy.

You did a great job, Mama.

Zoe:
We're winners!

Yay!

You're in love?

Yes.

Let me give you some advice.

I don't like advice.

This is good advice.

Especially from you.

You're just my sister's father,

which is bad enough.

I just want to be normal.

You got to grow up with

your mom and your dad.

I was always being

schlepped back and forth

to England on a plane.

Kaitlyn:
You think it's been fun

seeing the disappointment on people's faces

when I say, no, I'm not

the famous Richard Feekery's daughter?

Richard:
People pay a lot

of money for my opinions.

I don't believe in a market economy.

Richard:
Neither do I, but

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes