Love on the Run Page #7

Mr. Anthony,

I want that map.

I'm very sorry.

I haven't got it.

If you remember in

the hotel in London

you were rude enough

to surprise me

during my salt rub.

If I don't get

that map,

I shall be forced

to see you

under similar

circumstances...

without the salt.

Shall we send wily

here out for some?

Take off your coat.

All right, all right,

just a minute.

It unbuttons.

It's not there.

Your trousers,

please.

Uh, no,

I give you my word

it's not in my trousers.

Now let's talk this

thing over, man to man.

Take them off.

Didn't you hear me

yelling and pounding?

I've been locked

in here for hours.

I was out of duty,

Madame.

But why did you put your

clothes in the hamper?

It's just

a sorority initiation.

Walk along this arcade,

Ms. Parker.

Your wife left with

Mr. Anthony, of course.

Yes, she's to have

achieved her purpose by now.

She won't harm him,

will she?

It would be necessary

should he become difficult.

What are you

going to do with me?

Soon as I receive word

from my wife here,

I shall consider that.

Would you care

for some tea?

Please don't be

surprised

if I suddenly

go into an accent.

Baron, after what

I've been through,

I wouldn't be surprised

if you suddenly vanished

in a puff of smoke.

Madame.

Monsieur.

I'm not very hungry,

let's see.

Some smoked salmon

with Swedish bread.

And glass of

Turkish coffee.

And you, my dear?

Huh? Oh,

some tea, black.

Now that everything's

nice and cozy,

may I have a cigarette?

Or do they have little

capsules of poison in them?

Nothing as glamorous

as that.

Straight Virginia.

Most Americans refuse.

I'm a rather

unorthodox American,

as you perhaps noticed.

And while we're

on the subject,

may I go on record

as saying

I dislike your

wife very much?

And Im glad she's out

of the way for a while.

You are very frank.

And very lovely.

And very bored...

with everything

and everybody...

up till now, Baron.

What do you suggest?

Anything...

anything

that's different

and exciting

and glamorous.

Your life must be

like that, Baron.

Oh, you are very lovely.

I like to hear you

say that.

And oh,

you are so silly.

What you're attempting,

my dear,

has been tried by women

from Constantinople

to new York.

I don't wish to

appear unappreciative,

but once or twice the temptation

was even greater than it is now.

That's not fair.

I can see you're

just not interested.

Baron:
Now, my dear,

we take a little trip to a-

this is the lady here.

This is

Ms. Sally Parker?

Yes,

watch this man.

Ms. Parker, allow me to introduce-

yes, I know,

we'll go into

that later.

But this man-

I am Baron

Spandermann.

Ah, yes,

I recognize you, Baron.

I'm an air

enthusiast myself-

Baron nothing,

he's a spy I tell you.

My dear

Ms. Parker-

a spy!

Arrest him!

That accent is

just a disguise.

Well, do something,

will you?

My dear, lieutenant,

Ms. Parker is

a little embarrassed.

I was trying to find her

reasons for stealing my plane.

Will you please

understand what Im saying?

Quiet, Ms. Parker.

This can all be

settled in my office.

I must take you

in custody as it is.

Baron, you'll come along

and prefer charges.

Not pleasant,

but I feel I should.

Oh, you poor dimwits,

won't you believe me?

I'm sorry, Ms. Parker,

in my office.

Please, in my office.

Take my car, lieutenant,

it is more comfortable.

Ah, very kind.

If you're a policeman

worthy of the name,

you'll listen to me and-

in my office,

Ms. Parker.

Of course

you realize

your trustees have offered 5,000 reward

for your apprehension and return?

For the last time,

let me warn you,

this man is-

no, no, no,

Baron.

The police station

is to your right.

We're not going to

the police station.

I'm so sorry.

Slipped my mind.

I should have told you

about the baron.

Chalet, please.

Welcome back,

Madame.

Follow that cab,

please.

Yes, sir.

Come on.

We have a guest,

Rudolph.

I hope you enjoy

our hospitality.

Go inside, please.

A very fanciful

disguise, Mr. Anthony.

You weren't hiding from

me by any chance, were you?

Oh, all tied up

good and tight, huh?

How about down here, eh?

Yeah, don't try to

reason with me, Anthony.

I'm a deadbeat.

A mental case.

Ow!

I don't react

normally at all.

Don't look away.

So, little Parker's finally

getting her revenge on you, is she?

You would trifle with

an unprotected maiden's

heart, would you?

Even a hummingbird will turn

and become a vicious monster

if given sufficient

provocation, Mr. Anthony.

Don't wave your elbows

like the black widow

spider you are, my friend,

because

little Parker and I

are just about to fly

away to a cable office,

Mr. New York

chronicles expert.

And then the dispatch

readers will learn

how Barney Pells turns

the tables on a rat

that leaves people

rotting in restaurants.

All right,

start lying to me.

For the love of Mike,

will you shut up?

That's not Sally

in there.

That's the baroness

in Sally's clothes.

You know who I am?

I'm the baron.

All right,

just sit there

and crack wise with

your head in the noose.

If you won't help me,

you'd better get out of here.

I'm the baron.

I just ate the baroness.

You're really

a very low fella.

You gotta believe me

this once, Barney.

This is one time-

this in no time.

Baroness, in other room:

Rudolph, Rudolph.

Rudolph:
Yes, Hilda?

Baroness:
And sounds

from our nosy guest?

None. I may have

strangled him.

I was in quite a hurry.

Baroness:

How careless of you, Rudolph.

Yeah, well don't sit there

gaping like a pelican,

get me out of this.

Why, dive it all

in the water.

How did things

turn out this way?

Don't talk, untie.

Well, honest, Mike,

I had no idea.

Neither did i.

Do you think I came

along for the ride?

What are we gonna do?

We gotta corral this outfit,

that's what.

They've got a map that the

foreign office wants back.

It's gotta have it back.

If it doesn't get it,

it means a lot of trouble

for a lot of people

what a story!

Yeah, and if we leave,

we're gonna write it, too.

Hey, wait a minute,

I got it.

Here, you sit here.

Wait a minute,

what's the idea?

You're going

to be me.

Oh no you don't,

my friend!

You've maneuvered me into

things for the last time.

Wait a minute, Barney,

wait a minute.

This is different.

If we're going to save

our hides and Sally's

and everybody's,

we've got to do this.

I know the layout here.

Well, you can

show it to me.

If it's as much an

emergency as you say it is,

you're gonna need my brain

as well as your muscle.

And anyway, I can run

just as fast as you can.

Nobody's going to run.

We're gonna walk out

of here or not at all.

Well, what do I do

if they come in?

Just keep quiet and I'll be

covering you all the time.

Where will you be?

I'll be around,

and if they get rough,

I'll be in there

for both of us.

Now listen, Mike,

if we get out of this,

it's gonna be the biggest

story since august, 1914.

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