Love Punch

Thank you.

Hello.

Hello.

I'll have the same.

Ah, weddings!

Ah, weddings.

There is no one else

can take your place

Except 25-year-old

personal assistants

Natalie was after we split.

Minutes.

But well done for trying.

I heard the new one legged it.

Michaela and I have

parted company, yes.

These young women, they just can't

make up their minds, can they?

No.

You get me, Kate, though.

Or you used to.

That's because I'm a trained

child psychologist.

So, how's life for the nearly

retired corporate sellout?

Marvellous. I'm playing some

of the best golf of my life.

What?

- You're going to be so bored.

- I will not be bored.

- Totally and utterly bored.

- Rubbish!

- Bored.

- Rubbish.

- You look great, by the way.

- Oh, shut up.

Damn it! Still handsome.

- OK, so he's here.

- Who?

- Ken.

- Oh!

Is that him?

- He's got a nice body.

- Ken?

Pen's tennis coach.

It's time Kate fought

more aggressively.

Get out there.

I do get out there!

Taking your laptop out into the

garden is not getting out there.

Come on, you two!

Get back together.

- Come on, get back together.

- Not now, Jerry.

- Well, we live in hope. Just imagine.

- Oh!

- Oh, hello.

- Hi.

You're Ken, aren't you? Hello.

Oh! Wh... whoosh!

- Ah... flowers!

- Yeah, they're for you.

Oh, thank you.

They're... they're lovely.

- You're allergic.

- Only mildly.

Why is Kate holding flowers

when she's allergic?

Only mildly.

- I'm so sorry. I didn't know...

- No, no, no, it's fine.

It's not all flowers. Really, I like them.

I want them. I actually want them.

Why has Kate got flowers?

She's allergic.

- Only mildly.

- Don't!

Whatever you want

Whatever you like

Whatever you say, you pay your

money, you take your choice

Whatever you need

Whatever you use

Whatever you win

Whatever you lose

You're showing off

You're showing out

You look for trouble,

turn around, give me a shout

I take it all

You squeeze me dry

And now today you

couldn't even say goodbye

I could take you home on

the midnight train again

I could make an offer

you can't refuse

Whatever you want

I could take you home on

the midnight train again...

I could make an offer

you can't refuse

Whatever you want

Whatever you like...

Ah, Michaela!

I've come to take my car.

Move yours, it's blocking

mine. I want out.

- Uh-huh. Who's he?

- My new lover.

Bloody hell.

Can't you do that a bit louder, darling?

I don't think you've woken the whole street.

Come on, Mum. You're

supposed to be helping me.

I'm coming, I'm coming.

"Hello, Kate. My name is

Jean-Baptiste Durain.

"I'm 57 years old, live in Paris and

would love to converse with you."

Durain!

I take it all, you

squeeze me dry...

Well, this is a first.

I could take you home on

the midnight train again

I could make an offer

you can't refuse

Hey-hey!

Prodigal daughter departing for an

establishment of higher learning.

Hurrah for said person!

- Where is it you're going, again?

- Edinburgh.

Edinburgh. Oh, brilliant!

Yeah, cor... Brilliant!

Say yes to everything.

Go on, och aye to it all.

- Well, not everything, Jerry.

- No, of course not.

- Jerry! Here you are.

- What? No, I don't want that darling.

- What?

- It's boiling. No, I'm all right, thanks.

Anyway, Sophie, have a ball.

See you at Christmas, darling.

- See you, Uncle Jerry.

- Ho-ho!

Now, you haven't forgotten

about tomorrow night.

Ken's definitely coming.

Despite what happened with the

flowers, he's still keen.

All right. Well, second time lucky.

Smashing! That's my girl.

Seven o'clock at ours.

- I think that's her serve.

- I hope not.

Oh, shot. Ding dong!

Hey, one more week, old son, and you'll

be doing this all day every day.

This is going to be our new office.

It's what we've worked our

whole lives for, isn't it?

- Eh?

- Yeah.

Yeah, I suppose you're

right, my friend.

Yep. Living the dream,

old son. Living the dream.

No more answering to the man.

We call and we... take the shots.

- Ah, that's not bad.

- Nice one.

- Whoo-hoo!

- Sure we won't be bored now?

Bored? Bored?

What, with all this? Bored!

As if.

- Oh!

- Oh, no. It's not gone again, has it?

- Oh, yeah. Sh*t!

- Anything I can do?

Yeah, just... just put your...

put your thumb right there, mate.

Oh, I'd better not stand

there. People will talk.

Now, don't forget: always

wash your jeans inside out,

if it looks swollen,

it probably is, and...

and never put anything into your

mouth that hasn't been boiled first.

- Oh, it's Dad.

- Oh.

Hi, Dad.

Hello, my darling.

Have you left yet?

I'm just setting off. I'm with Mum.

'Lucky girl, going to Edinburgh.'

Your Mum and I were quite the

dynamic pair on campus in our day.

Maybe I'll buy a flat near you

and relive my student days.

- Er... no, thanks, Dad. It's my turn.

- 'Yes, it is indeed.'

Don't know where Jerry's going.

No, Jerry's getting lost.

'So what are you gonna

do now you're retired?'

'Oh, I don't know.'

Maybe I'll finally buy that boat and

sail around the world, you know.

- You were gonna do that with Mum.

- 'That's true, I was.'

Dad, I have to go. I've got

a big drive ahead of me.

OK. Call me when you get in, now.

I love you, Sophie.

'Love you too, Dad.'

- He's threatening to relive his student days.

- Mmm.

- What were you two like at college?

- Naive, unrealistic, ill-prepared.

So, everything that I am right now.

Not you, not you, never you.

Not at all. Come on, off you go.

Don't forget to call me when you

get there. Always go out in groups.

If you get homesick, come home.

And try and find a good taxi service.

Because some of them

have women-only drivers.

Women-only drivers, got it.

Anything else?

Be yourself, you're lovely.

Oh!

Hi, honey, I'm home.

Hello, Rumps. Come here.

Hello, darling.

What shall we do

this afternoon, eh?

Let's get drunk.

Hi, honey, I'm home.

You can hide all you like.

I've spotted you and we should

get a start on your last week.

Yes, of course.

Good morning, Doreen.

It has always been our good

fortune to share the same train.

No rest for the wicked, Mr Jones.

Doreen, after all these years, after

everything we've been through,

are you still refusing

to call me Richard?

Yes! Now, you have a ten o'clock

meeting with the new owners.

- Yeah.

- Any idea who they are?

Hmm...

Young is all I know, Doreen.

I took your advice on their

pension share offer.

- I took them up on it.

- What? The whole lot?

Yes, lots of us did. Janice in

Accounts, Marcus in Payroll.

Well, it's a solid offer.

Now, you have a prostate

check at 2:
15 today.

I'm gonna miss these

little chats, Doreen.

I thought my leaving

party was on Friday.

I don't think this is

a party, Mr Jones.

- It's all gone, Richard. The lot!

- What?

Morning, everyone.

Richard, what's going on?

I don't know, Janice.

I have no idea.

- Did you know about this?

- No, of course not, Marcus.

- Is this legal? Can they just do this?

- Yes, of course they can.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes