Lover Come Back Page #8

I just left Dr. Linus Tyler, and

he said he never heard of you!

What?

But that's impossible!

He's here right now.

I don't know who you're entertaining,

but it's not Linus Tyler!

Oh.

Oh!

Oh.

Carol?

Yes, darling?

Take my hand.

I'm not afraid anymore.

Oh, that's good.

What are you going to do?

I'm going to give you

confidence.

Be gentle.

Of course, darling.

Remember that lovely, lonely stretch

of beach where we first kissed?

Let's go back there.

Now?

Yes.

We'll recapture the magic

of that moment.

But I feel pretty magic

right here.

There's a full moon.

We'll have a midnight swim.

But it's 30 miles.

And I don't have

my bathing suit.

Oh, Linus.

My sweet, innocent darling.

We don't need bathing suits.

Trust me, my precious.

Oh, I do. I do.

I'm terribly embarrassed.

No need to be, darling.

After you get into the water,

I'll join you.

Okay.

Well, that's it.

Now it's your turn.

Yes.

Now it's my turn.

Good night, Mr. Webster!

Hey, wait! Hey, come back!

Come back!

I'm losing my confidence again!

You know, I've picked up

some hitchhikers in my day,

but, man, you were a weird

sight, running along the road

in them seaweed jockey shorts.

I'll have your coat

back in a minute.

Hey, Fred.

Look.

That's the last guy in the

world I would have figured.

There'll be no slip-up

this time, Mr. Northcross.

You subpoena Jerry Webster

in front of the Ad Council,

and I'll present enough evidence

to put him behind bars.

They've been advertising a

product that doesn't even exist!

Yes!

Well, I've already spoken

to the District Attorney,

and he wants to be there.

No, Mr. Northcross, I'm not

trying to stall for time.

It just happens that 11:00 is

when I go down to donate blood.

But they need it.

It's a very rare type.

11:
00. I'll be there.

Did Hadley find Tyler?

Not yet.

That Templeton. What a

mean, vindictive woman.

Lay off her, Kelly.

Congratulate me, boy.

I've saved the day!

I've been working with my

lawyers, and we've come up

with an iron-clad document that

will hold up in any court.

This solves everything.

Great! What is it?

A full and complete

confession. Sign.

Are you kidding? I could

go to jail for five years.

No, that's covered in here. We make a

deal with the judge. Two years. Sign.

Forget it.

Two years!

It's like being drafted. Think of

me as your commander in chief.

Greetings from the president.

Sign.

I couldn't find Dr. Tyler anywhere.

The guy has disappeared.

That tears it.

Hadley.

Step over to the window.

Mr. Ramsey, I told you,

I am not going to jump!

You don't have to jump. I'll trip you, huh?

Double indemnity.

Your wife will be loaded.

Kids will go to college.

Right? Come on, boy, run!

Pete, knock it off.

You won't sign, you won't jump.

I'm surrounded by traitors.

Dr. Tyler's here.

Doctor, where've you been?

In the subway. They couldn't

change a $1000 bill.

Gentlemen, I give you VIP!

That is VIP?

They look like mints.

Don't they though?

$100,000 for advertising, and what

does he give us to sell? Candy!

I don't care if they're

colored matzoh balls.

At least I've got something

to show the Ad Council.

Come on, Hadley. Let's go down to the art

department and have wrappers made up.

Nobel Prize winner, huh?

For this, I could have

hired Fanny Farmer.

Well, at ten cents a piece,

why, you'll make millions.

Ten cents for one of these?

Try it.

I've tasted candy before.

Not like these. Try it.

Well, have the rest of it.

I think you'd better sit down. There

should be a reaction shortly.

I made it very emphatic to Webster

that he be here at 11:00.

Hadley!

Hold that elevator!

VIP, oh!

I think I'll try a red one.

I think you've had enough.

Don't worry about me.

I can hold my candy.

You know something?

I wanna tell you,

you've come up with a great

little mint, here. You know that?

Mint?

Mint, you say?

This priceless pastille which you

so carelessly refer to as a mint

is in reality a triumph

of advanced biochemistry.

Looks like candy. Tastes like candy.

Goes down like candy.

But it enters the bloodstream

as pure alcohol.

Each one of these is the

equivalent of a triple martini.

Here's to you, Doc.

Bottoms up!

I've given this country

what it has long needed.

A good ten-cent drunk.

Well, I told you

he wouldn't show up.

I think the District Attorney

should take over.

It seems in order to issue a

bench warrant for his arrest.

And if he resists, gun him down!

Good morning.

I'm sorry to be late,

but I stopped to pick up

a carton of VIP.

You mean there is

such a product?

Would I advertise it

if there weren't?

That would be dishonest.

Gentlemen, I give you VIP.

A pleasant confection to be

enjoyed by the entire family.

This is nothing but a mint!

Well, I never said

it was anything more.

It's quite tasty.

Really? WILLIAMS: May

I have another one?

Sure, Mr. Williams.

Help yourself.

Gentlemen, help yourselves.

They're unusually refreshing.

Try a green one.

How many colors are there?

Six.

Let's all have one of each.

Dr. Melnick?

Yes? What happened?

I don't know. He just

suddenly went wild.

He kicked in this picture

of his father.

He tried to tear my clothes off!

Mine, too!

Where is he?

Joe, take it down.

What are you doing up there,

Peter?

I'm king of the elevator!

Married? Me?

Miss Templeton?

Miss Templeton, wake up.

Millie.

I had the most wonderful dream.

Dr. Tyler and I were...

I know what you're thinking,

but just calm down.

We're in Maryland. We're in a

motel, but it's all right.

Yes, it is. We're legally married.

You're Mrs. Jerry Webster.

Now stop that!

You're my wife!

Some girls just aren't

ready for marriage.

Here.

Have a look.

I don't know how it happened, but

apparently I did the decent thing.

Oh, I'm your wife!

This is horrible!

I'm ruined! Ruined!

You're not ruined!

I married you.

You'll go to jail for this.

Now, Carol...

Don't you touch me!

Will you listen to reason?

You give me back my clothes!

Poor lad! It's not likely

to be a long honeymoon.

Look, I know you hate me

and you have plenty of reason,

but you must love me, too.

You married me.

You got me drunk!

Well, maybe I did.

Look, Carol, I know it's a

shock for you to wake up

and find yourself

in a motel room, married,

but this is the first time

it's ever happened to me, too.

And you know something? Cold sober, even

with a hangover, I kind of like it.

"Mrs. Jerry Webster."

Don't you ever call me

a name like that again.

Well, listen, plenty of girls would

like to be Mrs. Jerry Webster.

And I'm sure

they have a right to be!

Okay, so I've sown

a few wild oats.

"A few"? You can qualify

for a farm loan!

Now, honey, you're starting

off our marriage with a fight.

Oh, no, I'm not. I'm starting

it off with an annulment!

Carol. Carol, don't be hasty.

Let's talk this over.

You listen to me.

No alcoholic beverage,

no drug known to science,

no torture yet devised could

induce me to stay married to you!

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