Lovestruck: The Musical Page #5

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no matter what.

Clear?

All right.

Hey, where ya goin'?

To talk to a ghost.

Oh! Where did that boy go?

Harper.

It is you!

It is not!

What the hell's

going on here?

How can-how can you

look like this?

I'm sure I don't know you,

so if you'll just excuse me-

Harper, your ass.

What?

I recognized it

in the bathroom.

I know that ass.

I fell in love with that ass.

God help me, I spent the better part

of the eighties worshipping that ass.

Really?

It is you.

Hello, ryan.

It's been a while.

I need a drink. I'll

get it for you. Come.

I also need a priest.

Gotta be a priest around

here somewhere, this is Italy.

Where are

all the priests?

Oh, my god. Will you stop

being so dramatic?

I have a perfectly

reasonable explanation.

There is nothing reasonable about this

- or you.

Okay, just take

a deep breath-

Don't-

don't tell me what to do.

Where are you going?

To find a cop.

This can't be legal.

( coughing )

W- what happened?

You're going to be

very angry.

Distinct possibility, if

you're involved in any way.

My knee was the size

of a grapefruit, ryan,

And-and there was this tonic,

and it is magical.

And I took a sip

and I turned young.

Amanda found it

in the back of the theater-

Lord knows how long that's been there

- but I had no choice.

So in a way,

it's kind of like fate.

And I hated marco,

I hated him,

But it turns out he really loves

her, and she really loves him back,

And okay, I admit, I originally came

here to stop the wedding-at first.

But theyou know,

as it turns out,

I, um, I kissed him...

Of course.

And now it's all gone

terribly wrong somehow.

Well, then, you haven't lost your touch.

This isn't a joke, ryan.

Seriously, harper, how could you do

something like this to our daughter?

I know, I know,

it's terrible.

Are you mad?

Hold on.

Did you drug me?

Of coursi drugged you.

You were gonna drop the dime on me.

Plus, I really need your help with this.

You...Drugged me!

I was thinking

about our daughter!

Oh, sure you were!

Wha-

Aaaah!

Right.

Ryan?

Ryan!

Hmm...

Ryan. Ryan.

Huhh!

What did you

do to me this time?

Whose voice is that?

Is that-(coughs)-

(shrill) hey, that's me!

(deeper)

hey, that's me.

Why do I sound so weird,

harper?!

Oh, my god.

Harper, this...

Is a miracle.

I know, I know,

you're young,

I've been there, I've

done that. Listen to me.

Yeah! I have ruined our

daughter's one chance at love.

So I need you to

help me fix it.

Yeah, well, you can check that

off your to-do list,

Because I already fixed it.

What do you mean?

Marco spilled

the whole can of beans.

I told him no witness, no

crime. Just deny till he dies.

It's all good.

No. Ryan! No-

Ryan!

Mirabella overhead marco

talking about the kiss.

He hato confess.

Uh-oh.

Yeah. I told her that

if he tells her the truth,

That means he loves her

and she can trust him.

So if he doesn't tell her, she'll

just think he's trying to cover it up

And that means he'll cheat on

her again. We have to fix this.

Wow. To see your mind at work is

at once fascinating and repugnant.

Oh, my god. You are completely

useless. I remember why I divorced you.

It was not a divorce-

It was an exorcism!

You cheated on me! One

time! Mid-life crisis.

And then you lied about it.

And when I told the truth,

you kicked me out!

We do not

have time for this.

Where could marco be?

Think, ryan.

Think? I can't think because I'm 30

years younger than I was 20 minutes ago!

I can't believe

you got me into this!

Wait- yes, I can.

Okay, look, I just read

this guy's diary on the plane,

Oh my god,

I hope I'm not too late.

Look, whatever happens,

do not take a third dose.

( disconnects )

Mirabella.

Wow. You look...

What's wrong?

Nothing.

What's wrong with you?

Nothing.

So we're both good.

We're great.

Look...

I don't want any secrets

between us.

That's not the way

to start a marriage.

I totally agree.

So...You would tell me the truth

about anything stupid

You might have done

in the past?

Distant, recent, whatever?

Well, um, mirabella,

What I'm trying to say

is that, well, I...

Wait! He's gonna tell her.

Um...

Of course I would.

If I had something,

you know, to confess.

( grunts )

Damn.

Mirabella...

Young harper:

I've seriously messed this up.

And how.

Okay,

what's our plan?

Ha! "our" plan?

Would you stop, please, look what I

can do! How long does thohh! Ow! Last?

And help me? We only have until

midnight when the rehearsal dinner ends.

I can't help it.

This stuff really works.

Of course it works.

It's-(gasps )-

Oh, my gosh, the tonic!

I left it at the bar!

Hmm.

No! No, no! Where is it? I don't see it.

( gasps )

what?

Oh. What happened?

Oh, aunt birdie.

She must have chugged

the whole bottle.

What's that

gonna do to her?

I don't want to know.

Aunt birdie?

( gasps )

Oh, my god.

What?

There goes great-aunt birdie.

Proud matriarch

of the hayworth line.

Wow. She's got some

moves. Runs in the family.

You have really

screwed this up.

( music, chatter )

( whispering )

Hey. I am debbie, and you are...? Angus.

Angus?

Angus.

Okay, we only have until

midnight to get this fixed, angus.

Hey. I know it goes

completely against your nature

And ever fiber of your being is

screaming at you to do the opposite,

But you have to

tell the truth.

Let marco off the hook

for this kiss, harper.

Tell him you kissed him.

He's gotta understand

none of this was his fault.

It's the only way

to fix this mess.

You're right.

Ugh!

God, I hate it

when that happens.

Noelle:
No, I'm serious.

You look amazing.

Oh, the bride-to-be is here.

Mirabella.

Hey.

Mirabella:
Hi.

Thanks for ruining my life. I

thought we were best friends.

Excuse me? Back up a

sec. You can drop the act,

Because I know that

you and marco kissed last night.

What are you talking about?

I heard him and scott talking

about it under the bridge.

"soulful brown eyes, full of

life, embracing the moment."

Mirabella, I was really drunk last

night, but I wasn't that drunk.

"mirabella,

you're so lucky!

He's so hot and rich,

and hot and rich!"

Okay, fine!

I was plastered.

After I left you guys, I-

I hit up the bachelor party...

And I can't remember much

after that. Convenient.

We've been best friends since

seventh grade. I would never hurt you.

Besides, I'm not the only one

around here with brown eyes.

The jig is up! No, no, no!

She can't find out it was me!

What do we do?

We have to

convince her

That there's no way debbie

would have kissed marco.

Okay, how do we do that?

Hey! Hey, hey-

hey, wait.

We lay it on thick.

Come on.

No. No.

so we back in the club

with our bodies rockin'

from side to side

side, side to side

thank god the week is done

I feel like a zombie

gone back to life

back, back to life

hands up

yeah, suddenly

we all got our hands up

no control of my body

ain't I seen you before?

I think I'd remember

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