Lycan Page #2

was just doing it for fun.

After a while, a couple

farmers got together,

and they put an ad in

the Atlanta newspaper

looking for a bounty

hunter to kill, you know,

whatever animal was

responsible for it.

- Sorry, we have a chance

to free an innocent

man from prison,

and you're talking

about ghost stories.

- Well, okay, so one, it's

not a ghost story, Irving.

It's a werewolf story.

Please pay attention.

Two, this sh*t

actually happened.

There's the ad right there

if anyone wants to peruse it.

He said he shot

it a couple times,

but never actually killed it.

It didn't take long

for this guy to realize

he wasn't dealing

with just any animal,

so one night he melted a

silver cross into a bullet,

went out into the field to kill

what he believed was a werewolf,

but when he shot it,

all he heard was the

screams of a dying woman.

- So it was a girl werewolf?

- Well, this is where the story

gets a little bit interesting.

He never found any werewolf,

only a severed human hand.

- Sh*t.

- I don't

wanna hear any more.

- No, let him finish.

- So years later, this

doctor was talking

to the bounty hunter,

and he said the same night

this guy shot a werewolf,

a young girl by the name

of Emily Burt came in

to be treated for

a missing hand.

The family denied anything

ever happened to Emily.

- So what happened to the girl?

- Well, she was never

seen in town again.

Years later after she died,

she was buried on land that

the Burts still own today.

I mean, they won't let

anyone near the grave.

- If we can't get in,

how are we supposed to

write a 20 page paper

about if it's real or not?

- That's an excellent

question, Irving.

I'm really glad you asked that

because this is where we

got a little bit lucky.

That crazy b*tch

that she works for,

her farm borders on

the Burt's property.

- Don't call her that.

She's got a name.

- He's right.

It does.

- Look, I say we

rent some horses

and get to the Burt's

property that way.

That's just my idea.

- Let's vote on it.

Raise your hand if you think

that our paper should be

about freeing an innocent man

from death row,

or finding out if teen

wolf is real or not.

- Love the system, but

we got even number here.

There's six of us.

What if there's a tie?

- Then we throw out both ideas

and find something else.

- Alright, raise your

hand for innocent man.

- Chrissy.

- I don't wanna go

into the woods, Blair.

- Let's find Emily Burt.

- I'll go into the

woods with you, Blake.

- Day one, and sh*t

is getting real.

It's hot as balls out,

and we're officially

in werewolf country.

Chrissy is looking very sexy

in a sweaty kind of way.

- Nice, Kenny, will

you stop shooting me?

- It's very

tasteful, Chrissy.

I promise.

Isabelle is looking very sexy

in a very free kind

of way.

If only these woods could talk.

- Kenny, can you put out

that f***ing joint, man?

- No.

- Alright, Kenny, which way?

- Uh, hold on.

- Great, now we're

taking directions

from Cheech Spielberg.

Kenny, give me the f***ing

teen wolf map, man.

You finish smoking your dope.

- You're gonna get us

arrested with that sh*t.

- There's no cops in

the woods, John Wayne.

You can chill out.

- Why did you bring a gun?

We have food.

- Not safe to sleep in the

woods without protection.

I've been living out here

a lot longer than you have.

- I like it.

- Alright, we're

gonna take a right.

We're headed west.

- Alright.

Let's go.

- I brought a tent

big enough for two.

- Oh, thank God.

Looks like we don't have to

share a tent anymore, Kenny.

- All I'm saying

is there's way more

available sex in my tent.

That's it.

- Good Lord.

- I only got a sleeping bag.

- That's okay.

You can have my tent.

Kenny's got room for two.

- Oh, come on, dude.

You're killing me right now.

My world was going under

I needed love

But got a doctor

I'm outta control

I'm outta control

He gave me pills

to forget I missed ya

You take some more

And you'll be better

And I'm outta control

I'm outta control

They say I've

got one, two, three

Some kind of ABC

But that's all part of me

Hey, there's

pills for that too

There's pills for heartache

There's pills to

fall in love too

Go ahead, take a picture

I might as well be a statue

A tourist attraction

- They heard scratching,

so they got in their

car and drove off.

Then when he walking

her back from her door,

he saw a hook in

the roof of his car.

- And let me guess,

the killer was there.

Oh my God.

- You know, I heard

this story before,

but in the version I heard,

the girl he took home

was the serial killer.

Yeah.

Fill me up, Kenny.

- You getting pretty wasted

off that Sprite, Irving?

- Yeah, you guys laugh it up,

but while you cats are

in the Betty Ford clinic,

I'll have already

made my first million.

- Yeah, you hang out with a lot

of sober millionaires, Irving?

Does anybody else need a drink?

- I do.

- I'll make you

something special.

- I'm not old enough

to drink, silly,

so no funny business.

- Stop trying to corrupt

my pledge, Kenny.

- I was always told

to follow my heart.

- You doing okay?

- A bit for me,

and a little bit for you.

Here you go, Chrissy.

- Thank you, Kenny.

- I like the Sprite

on you, Kenny.

- Sorry.

- Gonna get me

another drink, bro?

- Here, have mine.

- No, I'll get you

another one, man.

It's no problem.

- No, don't worry about it.

I wasn't really thirsty.

Blair just wanted

to mess with Kenny.

- That's f***ed up, Blair.

- I have a story.

- Oh, this'll be good.

- Come on, Blair.

I know you can be nice.

- Really, Blake?

- You done?

Okay, well,

there was this couple.

They were madly in love,

so they wanted to have kids.

- Yeah, that's novel.

- That's not the story.

Like most men, he

wanted to have a son,

you know, carry on his name.

- Uh, such a man.

- Unfortunately for

the husband, however,

a daughter was born,

but despite his disappointment,

the wife hoped he'd grow

to love their little girl,

but over the years,

the couple actually grew

further and further apart,

and one summer, for the little

girl's eleventh birthday,

the mother planned

a camping trip

to try and reunite the family.

- That's a dumb

woman right there.

- Their first

night in the woods,

something unimaginable happened.

- They had like a really

solid family camping trip?

- Should I finish?

- Sorry.

- That same night,

their daughter awoke

from her nightmare.

She was sweating and crying.

She tried to open up her tent

when a noise startled her.

It sounded like

a pack of wolves.

The noise was so loud

she thought it could be

right outside her tent,

so she ran back inside,

and she cried and cried

and cried herself to sleep.

Next morning,

she called out for her mother,

didn't get a response.

- They were dead, weren't they?

- She walked into

her parents' tent

and found their intestines

decorated around

like Jack the Ripper

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