Lymelife

Today alone, I got 17 phone

calls from my local residents

claiming that they have

Lyme disease.

Well, frankly,

up until a few years ago,

until 1975,

the medical community had no

idea what Lyme disease even was.

All we knew was that it caused

psychiatric disturbances

and severe

neurological disorders.

Even so, it seems

that over the last four years,

this disease has become

no less debilitating,

especially here

in the tri-state suburban area.

I assure you

that the medical community

is very close to developing

a treatment for Lyme disease

because we now know the source.

The tick, right?

Well, technically,

the infection stems

from the blood of the deer.

The tick is just

the transmitter.

Well, in any case,

what precautions

should people be taking?

Okay, let's have 'em.

Give me liberty

or give me death.

Hey, it's not funny.

The last thing we need

is for him to get sick.

He shouldn't even be next door

in all those weeds

without the tape.

You need a haircut.

Oh, sorry, Mick,

all gone.

Ticks, I can handle.

But you,

that's a different story.

you

you with a tick

in your hair

I'll be outside.

Hey, don't go far.

You're paranoid.

I'm sorry, Mick.

I just... you know,

I have this bad feeling

in the pit of my stomach.

It's a tradition.

Besides, you know

I haven't been able

to spend a lot of time

with him lately.

Yeah, well,

he's not the only one.

We don't actually kill anything.

I even started using blanks

like you asked me to.

Listen, Mick,

it's just dangerous now, okay?

Look at Charlie.

Charlie?

I wouldn't be surprised

if we found out

this whole thing

was psychosomatic.

Okay, let's just forget

about the whole thing.

But I'm not gonna be the one

that lets him down.

What are you doing?

Still with

that stupid quarter trick?

No.

You know, they say no matter

where you are on long island,

you can always hear the train.

Can't get far enough away.

Yeah, I heard that.

No, you didn't.

I just told you.

You.

F***ing guy.

So you... what are you doing

f-friday, satur...

what are you...

I'm busy friday.

You know you want this.

Don't lie.

Don't lie to me.

You're something special.

Yeah, you are.

Scott, breakfast.

Uh, coming.

Hey, hold on.

- Who's there?

- I'm coming.

Don't shoot.

Oh, wow.

Nice shot, Mr. Bragg.

I told you

not to come around here.

That could have been

your head.

I thought you were

the best shot in the union.

Doesn't matter.

Accidents happen.

Don't you understand that?

Here.

Yeah, that's a good shot.

Yeah, I couldn't go this year

on the hunting trip,

but, uh, how'd you do?

I don't know.

My mom wouldn't let us go.

Well, that's a f***ing shame.

It was abundant, I heard.

Deer as far as you could see.

- Mm-hmm.

- Yeah?

Yeah, I still have

quite a bit left over

from two years ago, you know?

And I cured it myself.

- Oh, really?

- Mm-hmm.

You want to...

you want to see it?

Uh, see what?

There it is.

You got your shank,

your hocks,

shoulder.

Those are ribs,

really good ribs.

And that right there,

that's the ass.

The what?

The ass.

Do you really eat that?

Well, yeah.

That's the best part.

You like ass?

Yes, oh, yeah.

Here.

Tell you what.

There you go.

Yeah, I just don't want it

to go bad in the locker.

You're turning down

a piece of ass?

Well, I mean, I...

I share a locker with someone,

and I don't... I don't know

if they'd want

a piece of ass

in the locker, you know?

Hey, Scotty.

Hi.

You taking this to school

with you today?

Oh, oh, yeah, I...

yeah, why don't you

go find Adrianna?

Nice suit.

Yeah, my mom made me wear it.

Your mom still makes you

wear things?

I wouldn't go broadcasting that

if I were you.

The sweater...

looks nice.

This suit, though,

is kind of...

just doesn't fit me

the way...

you know what?

I'm gonna be late.

Let's talk about it

in the car, okay?

Well, no, I called a cab.

It's all right.

Why, especially now,

are we wasting money on cabs

when I have

a flexible enough job

to drive you to the station

and pick you up?

Because I don't want

to put you out, all right?

I have all these interviews

all over the city.

Every day,

you have an interview.

Melissa, listen.

This thing... this thing,

it's kicked my ass.

You know that.

Something good is gonna happen.

I promise.

Really.

- Okay.

- You look nice.

Don't forget

to take your pills.

You have a nice day.

Ever since he got sick,

he spends more time

with the stupid dead deer

than he does with us.

It's humiliating.

Well, maybe because he

doesn't have a job or whatever,

it's... you know, it's his way

of making up for it.

You know, like, he, uh...

he hunts for food or whatever.

That's a very interesting

observation and all, but no.

I don't think so.

I mean,

it's not like you guys

are the munsters or anything.

I, uh... I got to go.

I'll see you later.

it's the American Dream,

Mr. Patel,

right here on long island.

Uh, in all honesty, Mr. Patel,

we've had a lot of interest,

but as they say,

no cigar.

I told your wife,

if you're the first house built,

you have your pick

of exposures.

The sun does rise

in the east, yes.

Where does it rise in India,

Mr. Patel?

What's the matter?

It's... it's just been

a rough couple weeks.

You don't want

to hear my sob story.

Well... well, look,

we're friends first, right?

I'm sorry.

I'm just a little emotional.

I understand.

Charlie's...

Charlie is not the guy

that I married.

Well, we all change

somewhat, no?

Yeah, I know,

but, god, why me?

I mean, a bus, a robbery,

an accident.

But Lyme disease?

Hey, look,

you're not the one

who has Lyme disease, right?

Smile.

Okay.

Next.

Enjoy yourself now,

dick weed.

Fartlett.

Okay, look at the birdie.

Look at me.

I will f***ing destroy you

there, blue eyes.

Today I'm gonna shove

a telephone pole

so far up your bung...

come on.

Give me a smile.

I think Blaze Salado

is into me.

Whatever.

Well, what do you think

I should do?

I mean, he's so mint.

But I don't know.

His real name isn't Blaze.

It's something really dorky

like Barry.

Hey, Fartlett.

We need to talk.

- We do?

- Yeah.

Unless you're too scared.

No, I'm not scared.

Get over here,

you little dick.

Nice suit, Fartlett.

What do you want?

I see your n*gger-rich daddy

driving all over town

in his Porsche,

and I want some money

for my own, okay?

Todd, what the f***?

Let him go.

You're such an animal.

- $20 every friday.

Oh, you're a motherf***er.

Get the f*** over here.

Get the f*** over here.

F*** over here.

Add $20, ass wipe.

A**hole loser.

Slutty whore.

Scott, are...

are you okay?

Do you want me

to call your mom or something?

No, I'm fine.

Well, how are you

gonna get home?

Jesus, just get

the f*** out of here.

Well, I'm just saying I can

call your mom if you want.

She can bring you an ice pack

or some yoo-hoo or something.

Just... what the f***

is wrong with you?

Just go.

Fine.

I missed the fricking bus.

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