Ma Vie en Rose Page #2

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I told you boys never marry boys...

or very rarely.

But I'll be a girl.

Cut it out! You're a boy,

and you'll be a boy all your life!

You're so stubborn!

Just like your mother.

Pass the ketchup.

I didn't know she was dead!

That's not the point.

Can't we cut his hair?

Yes, darling.

We could also crucify him.

I love your humour,

but not right now.

He didn't kill the Pope!

Stay out of this!

What he did was wrong.

Jerome is Albert's son.

Albert is Daddy's boss.

So, don't wear girls' clothes

with Jerome...

or anybody else!

He understands.

Let's turn the page.

Turn the page?

What's on the next one?

What you did was very bad!

- Like putting a cat in the dishwasher?

- Worse, you moron!

Tom!

We're not deaf!

You want the neighbours to hear?

Okay, Hanna.

You're so smart, you deal with it.

We've been married for 12 years,

and he still astounds me.

Let's go back inside.

Hi, Ludo.

Well, if it's not my lucky day.

Oh, nothing.

Remember what you said last night?

I agree.

About...

- Can I ask what changed...

- No.

Okay. I'll see to it.

Hi, guys!

Yabba-dabba boing-boing! Hi.

We've decided...

to take Ludo to a psychologist.

That'll fix it, I swear.

We 'II joke about it.

- Are you mad at me?

- Please, Miss!

- Can I sit somewhere else?

- If you want. May I ask why?

Otherwise, I'll go to hell.

To hell?

- What are you talking about?

- Can I?

Sit next to Alexandre.

Tell me I won't go to hell!

What are you mumbling about?

- Promise!

- I promise.

You know your parents are worried.

How do you feel about it?

Can I play with the toys?

Answer the doctor.

Play with anything you like.

He'll hear what we say.

What child did you want?

What do you mean?

What child?

Girl or boy?

We didn't mind.

Whatever comes is a gift from God.

We may as well tell the truth.

Since we already had one girl

and two boys...

I remember we said that

another girl would be nice.

For equal numbers.

Don't tell me

it made any difference.

- You can't mean it.

- Why not?

When they said it was a boy,

we were delighted.

We really didn't mind.

We love our little boy.

We want him to be happy.

Can you help him out?

Will it take long?

I can't say.

We'll meet once a week,

and see how it goes.

Don't expect miracles.

Okay, Ludo?

You'll see the doctor once a week?

So I'm a boy?

You've got it!

Stop in the name of the law!

You're dead! You're dead!

Now there's a real man!

I don't kiss girls!

You scared me!

Use your alarm, pal.

You know your girl

called my son a "bent boy"?

"Bent"? Christ!

Where do they get it from?

I'm asking you.

Hey, Albert! Cool it.

We can't watch every word we say.

You should!

Look who's talking!

I don't "boing-boing" my wife in public!

Somebody's asking

for a smack in the mouth!

Get this, Thierry.

Nobody in my house is bent!

At least "boing-boing" isn't unnatural!

- Hi, Ludo.

- What's "bent"?

Bye, Ludo!

Pretty good, huh?

What's "bent"?

Who said that?

I can't remember.

- Who?

- Take it easy!

Who said it? Tell me!

Leave him alone!

That's bent!

Got it?

You're getting to be

as cranky as Albert.

Take me dancing

You're a real little housewife!

That's not very subtle, Monique!

Having a pecker is no excuse

for not setting the table.

Of course not.

- How's the psychologist doing?

- Fine.

It's funny,

Albert doesn't like those people.

He says that

if society weren't so sick...

there wouldn't be any loony bins.

Ludo isn't loony!

Don't take it badly.

All she meant was...

why fuzz around with our noodles?

Stick to sports, I say!

And work, Thierry?

Aren't you forgetting work?

Can't you put a lid on it?

I mean, really! I saw a TV program

about transsexuals...

Go set the kids' table, honey.

It made me cry.

If my daughter came to me

and said she was a boy...

I don't know what I'd do.

I think we should let him

live out his fantasy.

Baloney!

Like drinking to stay sober!

The son of a friend

wanted to wear a skirt to school.

She let him.

A skirt?

After a week, it was over.

Where's the meat?

Darling, get Daddy and Albert.

Is this okay?

It's much better...

but now the slogan's too low.

You're right.

You seem edgy lately.

Me? Not a bit.

It it's about the layoffs,

your job is safe with me.

In fact, it's you who's been edgy

since that thing with the kids.

It's changed you somehow.

It's all forgotten.

Ludo can act funny,

but he meant no harm.

The therapist has set him straight.

Want my advice?

- He doesn't need a shrink.

- What, then?

Don't take offence...

but Hanna has too much control

over your boys.

- She doesn't.

- See? You're offended.

We raised all our kids the same way,

but they're not like peas.

Each one is different.

You wouldn't know, having only one.

Sorry. I forgot.

God took one of my kids.

He's not taking two!

- Got it?

- Calm down.

I am calm.

Forgive me.

What is it, Ludo?

It's ready.

You're right,

I've been working too much.

Let's be together more.

Don't worry!

You'll get the hang of it.

You look hot in all that hair.

We'll cut it.

Go! Go!

Are you ill?

No, I'm concentrating.

Am I a boy or a girl?

A boy, so we each keep our clothes.

Look, it's easy at your age.

The hassles come later.

Like, they say I have to be home

from Barbara's party by midnight.

What will Yannick think?

- Who's he?

- Never mind.

Don't tell anyone.

So, boy or girl?

Don't ask me!

We learned in biology

what makes boys and girls.

XY, you're a boy. XX, you're a girl.

It's like playing poker.

Get it?

Doesn't God decide?

Of course He does.

"Ludovic Fabre:
girl"

I know what happened to my X.

Wise guy.

- Are you looking?

- Yeah.

- What do you see?

- Your feet.

- How do they look?

- Normal.

Okay, now listen.

You're peeing.

See my feet? Like a girl's.

That proves it.

I can do that.

That's not the point.

First, you have to understand

I'm a girl-boy.

Girl-boy? Cut it out.

Let go!

Listen. To make a baby,

parents play tic-tac-toe.

Okay so far?

Okay. Now, come on.

When one wins, God sends Xs and Ys.

XX for a girl, XY for a boy.

Okay?

My X for a girl fell in the trash.

I got a Y instead.

A scientific error!

Get a move on.

But God'll fix it. He'll send me my X,

and we can get married, okay?

It depends

on what kind of a girl you are.

- This will ease the pain.

- It hurts.

I'm very proud of you.

- Don't overdo it.

- You're a real little lady now.

Hold it against your tummy.

- Okay?

- Yes.

About Michel's party...

Can I stay until one o'clock?

You don't miss a trick, do you?

We'll ask your father.

So what's new?

Zoe?

Leave me alone.

Why are you a real lady?

Stomach pains.

Diarrhoea?

- No. Period.

- Like a free period?

Period, period.

You're too young to understand.

Will I have it too?

You'll never be a girl.

- I will.

- You won't.

Will.

Won't!

Now, go on, get out!

All set? Jerome, the coat.

You look lovely.

Dwarves? Come on.

The hat, quick!

One last little effort, okay?

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