Made in America Page #5

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Hello there, folks!

Thank you very much

for the ride!

Do you mind

if I come in

And drain the lizard?

If you drain the--

Does that mean you have

to go to the bathroom?

Uh-Huh.

Fine. Come on in!

You crazy...

You locked us in.

We were gonna call 911,

But then we started reading books.

I'll take these. They're fascinating.

We'll take everything,

and...

I am so sorry, dear.

I really had no idea we'd

done so many awful things.

Hello.

Hello.

Ladies.

Hell of an idea--

Lock the customers in

till they buy something.

Wonder if that work

with trucks?

Oh, my god,

look at this place.

Book city.

You read all this?

The bathroom's upstairs

On the right.

Oh... we haven't been up there.

No!

There's nothing up there to buy.

Oh.

Oh.

Well, we have a check

All made out for you,

including tax at 7 1/2 %.

Oh, no, no, no.

It's 8 1/2.

Maybe you're right.

Who cares? You're done.

Oh! Thanks.

Thank you.

That's great.

Happy wedding.

Bye! Thanks.

Let me help you.

Bye-Bye, now.

Bye!

Bye-Bye, ladies!

Bye-Bye, now.

Bye!

Bye!

Whoo! Black authors

up the Wahzoo.

I read black authors, you know.

Wilt Chamberlain book

changed my life.

Heh heh heh heh heh!

Oh, wait a second here.

Maybe I don't have to go anymore.

Nope, there it is!

Little silvery feelin'.

The call of the wild.

Is this the guy?

Is who what guy?

The guy.

The guy that was supposed

to be Zora's father but isn't,

Because... you know.

Yeah. That's

my husband Charles.

Charlie.

Looks nice.

Was he nice?

Yeah, he was nice.

Never remarried?

Tthh. No.

I mean,

What's the point?

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm divorced.

Twice.

Right now, I'm...

Living with someone.

Mmm...

Never had any children.

Huh.

That Zora, looks like a nice kid.

Ohh, she's a great kid.

I don't know what I

would've done without her.

Family really is the way to go.

I live to enjoy myself.

Funny thing--Sperm.

Well, what do we got here?

"Jesus was a black man."

Well, hell, at least you

got yourself a point of view.

Must be a real bummer

having a half-White kid.

F*** you.

Apparently we already did that.

You know what? Get out.

For being such a free spirit,

You are surprisingly uptight.

You, not surprisingly,

are a pain in the ass.

It turns out,

that I have a daughter

That I'd never even heard about.

You don't have a daughter.

I have a daughter.

You have a car dealership.

I thought we straightened

all this out.

Fine by me.

But are you sure

it's fine with her?

She's the one

that hunted me out.

Maybe she wants to see me.

I don't think so.

I was always good

at math and science.

Maybe I had something

to do with that part.

You had nothing to do with it.

Nothing. Do you understand me?

I understand you, your highness.

I can't talk to you anymore.

It's ok. I'm outta here.

Mm-Hmm.

Have a nice life.

I will.

Hi.

Hi.

Ok. What's up?

You think he's my father?

Look...

All he was was some sperm

With one motivated swimmer.

That's all.

I just wish I could've

asked him a few questions.

Why? The man is so dumb,

what was he gonna tell you?

Forget it. It's over.

Leave it alone.

I know, ma, but you don't--

Please. I really don't want

to talk about this anymore.

Ok.

Ma, just one thing.

What?

When you were alone with him,

Did he say anything about me?

Is it really that important to you?

Yes.

Well, yeah, he did.

He said, uh...

That you seemed really smart...

And really confident.

He also said he thought

you were really beautiful.

Really?

Yeah.

Really?

I cross my heart, yeah.

That's cool.

Good night.

Good night, my daughter.

I love you.

I love you, too.

It's not true...

But it's cool.

This is Hal Jackson

of Jackson motors,

Asking you to bear in mind

There's a reason

so many people come to us

For deals on cars and trucks.

Ugh, god.

Now I'm gonna wrestle

with you over--

Daddy?

Sarah?

Daddy!

Oh, daddy!

I found you.

They said you were dead, but...

You should try this.

Hal, you should try this.

Uh-Huh.

Don't you know me, daddy?

I'm Sarah! I'm Sarah!

The final price will be... shocking!

But I'm Sarah!

Yes.

Yes.

Sarah!

My baby.

Her majesty, the queen.

My daddy.

Hello.

Hey, how're you doin'?

All right.

Where's Zora?

Uh, she just left.

Oh. She go get lunch?

Um... you--You know,

She never really tells me.

I just--I don't know.

You don't know.

What do you mean you don't know?

Where is she?

Don't ignore me.

You better tell me where she is...

Ow!

Or I'll rip out your tracheae.

Oh, Zora.

Yeah, Zora.

She went to the car dealership.

What!?

She went. I didn't go.

Ow!

This is Hal Jackson

of Jackson motors

Inviting you to come on down

and see the circus of deals

We've got going

On the latest model cars

and trucks.

Tiny, down.

Don't forget.

10 % back means 10 % more peanuts

In your pocket.

Isn't that right, Tiny?

Or did you forget again?

Great.

Cueing Tiny.

Up again!

Heigh-Ho, Tiny!

Cut, cut, cut.

Reset.

Reset, Tiny.

Resetting, Tiny.

What the hell you mean cut?

We're losing you when Tiny rears up.

Ok. We're ready to go again.

Oh, my God, she's back.

Concentration, Hal.

Give me a cigarette quick.

You're talking to me--

Just shut up and give me

the damn cigarette.

Great.

Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me.

Hey, lady!

Hello.

This is Hal Jackson

of Jackson motors.

This is supposed to be

a closed set.

Whoa! Hey!

Whoa!

Don't forget.

10 % back means 10 % more

peanuts in your pocket.

Isn't that right, Tiny?

Oh, no, no, Tiny.

Uh-Oh.

Whoa. What's happening?

Here we go again.

Alert the media!

The press! Call the press!

Ma, look.

Ooh! Whoo!

Oh, sh*t!

Oh, God!

Stop ringin' the goddamn bell!

We're right behind you, babe!

Stop ringin' the goddamn bell!

Oh, sh*t!

Oh!

Oh, sh*t!

Stop ringin' the goddamn--Ow!

Ooohh!

Whoa!

You better be shooting!

You cut, you die!

You cut, you die!

This is all fabulous!

Ohh!

Move! Move!

Oh, Lord, help!

Hal, it's Kimberly.

You never called.

Oh, hi.

Stop! Whoa! Whoa!

Oh, Jesus.

Coming through. Watch your feet.

Coming through.

Please, stop ringing the goddamn bell!

Oh, Jesus!

Sh*t! Son of a...

Keep rolling.

Ta-Da!

Thank you, Jesus!

Thank you. I'm alive.

Mom!

I'm lucky. I'm lucky.

Thank you, baby.

It wasn't my fault.

Wait! Wait till

you see the footage.

2 News crews showed up.

I'm alive.

Are you ok?

Yes, I'm fine.

Ma, not you.

Are you all right?

Do I look all right to you?

Wait.

Hey, hey, what are you doing?

The elephant was

following the bell,

Your bell.

This...

This goddamn bell.

It was?

Oh, sh*t.

Yeah. He was.

He was following my bell?

I thought you were dead

At that intersection.

That was close, wasn't it?

Yeah. Yeah.

My bell.

You mean you ended up

in the water

Because of my bell?

I'm sorry.

Wait!

You know something?

You can go to hell.

If I could follow you.

I'll ring my bell

so you know it's me.

He's really pissed.

You're gorgeous

when you're wet.

Just take my word for it.

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