Made In Britain Page #4

out of here in... three or four weeks.

There are youth projects.

You could travel.

Apprentice boarding schools,

choose a trade... Loads of things.

It needn't be like that.

While you're here there's pocket money.

Want new clothes? You can have them.

There are trips planned. Christ,

it's not as bad as you make it sound!

But there has to be some kind of

understanding between us.

- Why were you looking at your watch?

- I wasn't.

- Counting the hairs on your arms?

- There's a lot you can enjoy, Trevor.

Horse riding, canoeing... A lot better

than sitting in this bloody room!

What about f***ing?

A man comes round every Thursday

to f*** some sense into...

- You on that one, are you?

- Peter, please.

Let's concentrate on getting out of here.

We can sort out the world tomorrow.

- I'm not signing any contract.

- OK, well, forget about the contract.

All it means is cooperation, and that's

what's important, cos I'll tell you...

...if we don't sort out something -

and soon - all that...

...all that bloody mess up there

will be the only options left.

- There'll be no more help from us.

- Great.

And you'll be a total bloody failure. At 16.

- And it's such a bloody waste.

- I'm a success. I'm a f***in' star!

Then why are you in here, Trevor?

There are those among us

who'd like to know the answer to that...

...and from where I'm standing,

it's not looking too good.

I'm in exactly the right place

at the right time.

The fact that you're too f***in' thick or

stupid to see that, that marks you down.

You'll be put up against a bus,

covered in petrol, and shot!

- Fantastic.

- All of you! It's you that's f***in' failed!

I'm not your bleeding problem

or anyone's!

Bollocks to you and your report!

Write it, lock me up. Who gives a f***?

I don't know. But what are we gonna do?

- About what?

- About you.

No, what the f***

are we gonna do about you?

If you had any balls, you'd stick a knife

in the bastards who write all that bollocks!

They're just like teachers at school -

f***in' wankers!

- You learn anything at school, did you?

- Yeah.

- Be the best, otherwise forget it.

- That it?

Everything they teach you is useless.

- Everything?

- Rubbish. Bugger all to do with my life.

That's what you learned at school?

Work hard, do well, get a job, otherwise

you're no good, you're a vandal.

That's what I learned.

It's a lot of bollocks. Lies!

We're all f***ing great.

You ain't taking bugger all from us.

We hate you.

You can lock me in here, but you can't

take away the hate inside my head.

Don't like that, do you?

You can't take a bit of truth, can you?

Oh, I don't think you're

particularly truthful. Or honest.

No, you lie with the best of them!

You go out thieving,

and that's not particularly honest.

Perhaps school would be a better place

if people like you were more honest.

You believe that not nicking from school...

...or from the local Paki sweet shop bit,

don't you?

- That's being honest, innit?

- Yes, it is.

- You don't really want me to be honest.

- Yes, I do.

Well, honestly speaking,

I don't think I can keep the peace...

...while I'm incarcerated in this shithouse

or any other shithouse - contract...

...or no contract,

so there's no point in saying I will!

- How's that for honesty?

- But where's it getting us?

It's not getting us

out of this bloody room.

See? You can't take it. It's the same when

I was at school. I said when I was bored...

...when I didn't want to do a lesson...

...when I wanted to tell the teacher

to f*** off, or kick him in the teeth.

But they couldn't take it. They didn't

want me to be honest in that way.

That's why they don't teach honesty.

They don't want the kids to say

what they're really thinking.

If they had lessons like that,

they'd lose control!

Wouldn't be able to smack you

round the head when they feel like it.

You just want me to be honest

when you take me down the nick.

"It's a fair cop, guv."

Or when I fill out a form. "Be honest,

don't cheat, don't carry a knife."

"Bend over, let me search you, make

notes about you, keep files on you."

If I'm honest,

I've got nothing to worry about.

You're protecting me from

the dishonest buggers, ain't ya?

But I can't look at the files.

What's read out by the magistrate, what

those f***ers said about me at school...

...what's on the police computer -

it's all bollocks!

We're not talking about honesty,

it's sticking to the rules!

All those honest people

are just sticking to the rules...

...but they lie and f***in' cheat

all the way!

They just think they're being honest...

...cos they swallowed the bollocks they've

been handed. They've been conned!

Well, I've not been conned.

That's why you can stick

your hairy contract up your hairy arse!

It's a dishonest con!

If you want to put me in line... well, do it.

Try it. Don't f***ing lie about it.

Kick me in the bollocks if you like,

cos I'll do the same to you!

So good night and f*** off!

Good night to you too! Peter, I'm going.

Er, just, er...

Just a minute, Barry!

Forget it. He's a sod, he's psychotic.

Have him transferred to a secure unit.

Let someone else deal with it.

Harry Parker dropped this one on us.

Let's chuck it back.

He has no intention of keeping the peace.

Let's have him locked up.

- Give Parker a call.

- Do you really think it's worth it?

This one opens my office. The small one's

to the top drawer in my desk.

You'll find my address book.

Parker, under P.

It's a waste of time.

Yeah.

- Want to go to the toilet?

- No, I'll piss on the wall.

We're gonna have to send you

to Hatchmere House.

- Secure unit. Under lock and key.

- Great. It's where I'm going anyway.

Anything you care about?

If I told you, you'd confiscate it.

Same every night.

Late tomorrow.

No-one cares about

your little protest, Trevor.

No-one gives a damn.

It's totally insignificant -

just you in this horrible room.

Yeah.

Right.

Barry Giller and I may not be much...

...but we're all there is.

No-one else gives a sod.

Going banger-racing tomorrow night.

Why not drag yourself along?

You're into cars.

Take the social services

for all they've got, eh?

Better than sitting around in this hole.

Who wants to watch a bunch of wankers

smashing up cars?

Oh, me for one. I quite enjoy it.

One of the lads entered.

It's part of a project.

Leroy. He's...

- He's a good driver.

- And a n*gger.

I'll go if I can drive.

Yeah. Well, a cut above

cruising in a Ford Granada!

Accessory.

I'll go if I can drive.

Keep the peace?

Lf... I can drive.

Nah, it's not that easy. It takes weeks.

Just a minute, just a minute!

Think, think.

If I can get him to, er...

Yeah, why not?

It's possible.

OK, I'll fix it. But you stay away from

Ford Granadas. It's a deal for everyone.

No touching the dog's arse, and keep your

boot out of the chef's bollocks, all right?

- He's out.

- It doesn't matter, Barry.

We're all going to bed now,

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