Magic in the Moonlight Page #2

Oh, I couldn't agree more.

If only you had a slightly

milder disposition,

you might

actually have friends.

Oh, lam his friend.

Notice I use the singular.

Yes, he means

he can tolerate me.

You may be Burkan the

Great to your public,

but to me, you'll always

be little Howard Burkan,

who took my favorite scarf, cut it

in half with a pair of scissors,

waved his magic wand over it,

and it didn't

come back together.

I was just learning the trick.

No, she never got over that.

And to what do I owe

this unannounced visit?

I'm here to expose yet another

fraudulent spiritualist,

and I thought I'd warn you I'll

be dropping by for black pudding.

Oh, yes, the Catledges are holding

sances up at their place.

They've apparently

met some gifted medium.

It's the talk wife

the Cote d'Azur.

She's a little American

called Sophie Baker,

and apparently

she's very sharp,

but Stanley will get

the measure of her.

I can't wait.

Welcome! Welcome...

How lovely to see you.

Bienvenue.

George, Caroline, Stanley.

How do you do?

Oh, hello. Stanley.

A great pleasure.

George. Charmed.

Of course, George and Caroline

are the reason I'm here.

They're a great deal

less gullible

than Caroline's

mother and brother,

and had hoped

that I would be able

to reveal

the medium as a fraud.

When she fooled Howard Burkan,

we knew we were in trouble.

But then when he said he

was best friends

with Wei Ling Soo...

We're great admirers. VVhoisn%?

I don't know if Howard told

you, her name is Sophie Baker.

Have you heard of her or...

No, I have not, but these sleazy

fraudsters change identity every month.

And I omitted to mention

she's here with her mother.

Ah, now, that says a lot. Yeah.

I hope you kept your eyes on

her mother during the seance,

or did she dim

the lights too low?

Caroline, you were next to her.

She held my brother's hand, and

she actually made the table rise.

Well, I looked for the

usual devices, of course.

I thought maybe, wrist lifts,

but they weren't there.

She's promised to try and

make contact with my father,

who died a year ago.

As I was saying,

your mother and your brother

are the victims

of a dishonest ruse,

as your good sense tells you.

There is, of course, no spirit

world, and even if there were,

you can be sure that some little American

gypsy would not be the one blessed

to unlock its secrets.

Only a low-grade halfwit

would fall for any of this.

But you're not implying that her

mother and brother are halfwits?

Well, I haven't met them yet.

But I'm sure

they're like most people,

desperate for a little hope

in a world that has none,

and willing to

believe anything.

Who shall we say you are?

Introduce me

as Stanley Taplinger.

I'm an old friend

in the import-export business.

Understood. Mr. Taplinger,

up to the house.

Come on, Howard.

What is that

dreadful noise?

My brother. He practices

serenading Sophie.

Both thine eyes are cute, too

What they do to me

Hear me holler

I choose a sweet lollapaloosa

In thee

Thou sweet, thou grand...

Howard.

Brice,

good to see you again.

Can I introduce you to my

friend Stanley Taplinger,

who's going to be staying. Oh.

Pleasure to meet you. How

do you do, Mr. Taplinger...

Taplinger... Taplinger.

Taplinger

And, uh, how long will you be

staying with us, Mister...

Oh, not very.

I have business elsewhere.

Ah, have you told him

about Sophie?

Ah, now, is this the girl

that can read minds and such?

Well, she gets these sensory impressions.

And, what are they?

It's hard to explain. She

gets these mental vibrations.

Her head vibrates?

Drink? Thank you.

Have you got a whiskey, Brice?

I absolutely do.

Now, Sophie looked into my eyes

and told me things about me

she could never have known.

About old girlfriends I'd had,

and places I've traveled to.

Good heavens. You think

she can do it with me?

Oh, of course. Of course.

Whatever questions you have

about life, the hereafter...

Here, cheers.

Perhaps there's

a departed loved one

you wish to make contact with.

Sophie sees all.

She can predict the future.

In short, she's a visionary.

And, I'm told she's very

pleasant to look at.

She's a visionary and a vision.

Mother's agreed

to subsidize a foundation

for the serious scientific

study of her work.

Well, after this buildup, I'm

champing at the bit to meet her.

She's doing some psychic readings

over at the Lounsberrys' house,

but she should be here

any minute.

And the Lounsberrys, I take

it, are wealthy marks...

Uh, wealthy friends of yours

that she was anxious to meet?

Yes. How did you know?

Mental vibrations.

Excuse me? Telephone

call, Mr. Catledge.

Your business office in Paris.

Ah, excuse me.

He doesn't make any business

decision at all now

without consulting

Sophie first.

Well, what can I say, Howard?

He's a moron.

Incidentally, Stanley,

I think, if you could bottle up your

sarcasm a little more skillfully,

it might help us

on our mission.

Howard, we all hope someone will

come along with superpowers,

but the only superpower certain

to show up wears a black robe.

Wife.

Speak of the devil and superpowers,

I think that's her now.

Yeah, there she is.

Mr. Talmudge. Hello.

Taplinger. Hello.

Oh, I'm so sorry. Yes.

You're every bit as lovely

as you've been described.

Thank you.

Wait.

Don't say anything. I'm

getting a mental impression.

Are you from the Orient?

The Far East?

China?

Have you been there,

or do you visit?

Why do you say China?

I just get that impression.

And what impression is that?

No.

Huh.

Never mind.

It's fading, it's fading.

And you are her sister?

Mother.

Mother, are you?

What lovely cheek bones. The apple

does not fall far from the tree.

And what do you do,

Mr. Taplinger?

I'm... Wait.

Sophie, what impression

do you have

of Mr. Taplinger's

line of work?

I should say Sophie

has psychic gifts.

Has she? Hmm.

It's not immediately clear,

although I.

I do get some

vibrations suggesting

that Mr. Taplinger

travels a lot.

Well, those are

excellent vibrations,

but it's not an unreasonable

assumption, is it?

I mean, plenty of people

travel in their work.

I see Germany.

Have you been to Germany?

Matter of fact, I did have some

business recently in Berlin.

I'd say, that's

pretty damn impressive.

Mr. Burkan, as you

may know, is a magician,

who was brought here to observe

my daughter and find flaws,

but has stayed

to marvel at her.

Well, what have

I stumbled upon?

You never told us what

you did, Mr. Taplinger.

Neither did your daughter.

For some reason, my mental

impressions are cloudy.

Cloudy. When you say your

mental impressions are cloudy,

are they cumulus clouds

or cirrus?

Mr. Taplinger is a businessman.

Ah.

What line of business?

The import-export trade.

I see Chinese letters.

Chinese writing.

Perhaps, you're visualizing

my laundry ticket.

You're making fun of me.

I'm afraid you're in the

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