Major Barbara Page #9

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I have good news. Most wonderful news.

- Our prayers have been answered.

- Yes.

Have we got enough money

to keep the shelter open?

I hope we shall have enough money

to keep all the shelters open.

Lord Saxmundham has promised us 50,000.

- Hooray!

- Glory!

- If...

- If what?

If five other gentlemen

will give 10,000 each...

to make it up to the hundred thousand.

But who is Lord Saxmundham?

I never heard of him.

A new creation, my dear. Did you

ever hear of Sir Horace Bodger?

Bodger? Do you mean the

distiller? Bodger's Whiskey?

Yes, that's the man. He's one of the

greatest of our public benefactors.

He restored the cathedral at Hakington.

They made him a baronet for that.

He gave half a million to the funds of his

party. They made him a viscount for that!

- What'll they give him for the 50,000?

- There's nothing left to give him.

So the 50,000, I imagine,

is to save his soul.

Heaven grant it may.

Oh, Mr. Undershaft, you

have some very rich friends.

Can't you help us

towards the other 50,000?

We're going to hold a great meeting

this evening at the Albert Hall.

If I could only announce that one gentleman

had come forward to support Lord Saxmundham...

others would follow.

Don't you know somebody?

Couldn't you? Wouldn't you?

Oh, think of those poor

people, Mr. Undershaft.

Think of how much it means to them

and how little to a great man like you.

Madam, you are irresistible.

I can't disappoint you.

And I can't deny myself the

satisfaction of making Bodger pay up.

You shall have your 50,000.

- Thank God.

- You don't thank me, madam?

Oh, sir, don't try to be cynical.

Don't be ashamed of being a good man.

The Lord will bless you abundantly...

and our prayers will be like a strong

fortification around you all the days of your life.

You'll let me have the check to

show at the meeting, won't you?

- Uh, Mr. Duffin.

- Thank you. I prefer my own.

What price salvation now, eh?

Stop!

General, are you really

going to take this money?

- Why not, my dear?

- Why not?

Do you know what my father is?

Have you forgotten that Lord

Saxmundham is Bodger the whiskey man?

Don't you know that the worst thing I've

had to fight here is not the devil...

but Bodger, Bodger, Bodger...

with his whiskey and his

distilleries and his tied houses!

Rotten drinkin' whiskey it is too.

Are you going to make this place

another tied house and ask me to keep it?

Dear Barbara, Lord Saxmundham has

a soul to be saved like any of us.

I know he has a soul to be saved.

Let him come down here, and I'll do

my best to help him to his salvation.

But he wants to send his check down here

to buy us and go on being as wicked as ever.

My dear Barbara, alcohol

is a very necessary article.

- It heals the sick.

- It does nothing of the sort.

Well, it makes life bearable...

for millions of people who couldn't enjoy

their existence if they were quite sober.

It enables parliament to do

things at 11:
00 at night...

which no sane person would

do at 11:
00 in the morning.

Is it Bodger's fault if this

inestimable gift is deplorably abused...

by less than one percent of the poor?

Barbara, will there be

less drinking or more...

if all those poor souls we are saving...

come tomorrow and find the doors

of the shelter shut in their faces?

Lord Saxmundham gives us

this money to stop drinking...

to take his own business from him.

[Cusins] Rure self-sacrifice

on Bodger's part, clearly.

Bless dear Bodger.

I also, General, may claim

a little disinterestedness.

Think of my business.

Think of the widows and

orphans, the oceans of blood...

not one drop of which is

shed in a really just cause.

All this makes money for me.

I'm never busier, never richer

than when the papers are full of it.

Well, it's your work to pitch peace

on earth and goodwill towards men.

Every convert you make

is a vote against war.

Yet I give you this money...

to help hasten my own commercial ruin.

The millennium will be inaugurated by the

unselfishness of Undershaft and Bodger.

Oh, be joyfull

Oh, what an infinite goodness

one finds in everything.

Who would have thought that any

good could come out of war and drink?

[Jenny] Oh, dearl How blessed,

how glorious it all isl

[Man] A miraclel

Let us seize this unspeakable moment.

Let us march to the great meeting at once!

- Our shelter's saved!

- [Workers] Hooray!

The Army's saved!

[Woman] Bless the general!

Everybody's saved!

Glory, hallelujah! Glory, hallelujah!

On to the meeting! On!

- Come on, let's go!

- [Crowd Murmuring, Chattering]

Mr. Undershaft, have you ever seen 5,000 people

fall on their knees with one impulse and pray?

Come with us to the meeting.

Barbara shall tell them that the

Army is saved, and saved through you!

You shall carry the flag down

the first street, General.

Mr. Undershaft is a gifted trombonist. He

shall march with us, blasting us to high heaven!

- Blow, Machiavelli, blow!

- ## [Toot]

I'll do my best. I could vamp

a bass if I knew the tune.

It's a wedding chorus from Donizetti's

operas, but we've converted it!

We convert everything here...

including Bodger!

You remember the chorus?

"For thee, immense rejoicing!

Immenso giubilol Immenso giubilol"

# Rum-dum,

de-dum-dum #

Dolly, you're breaking my heart.

What's a broken heart more or less here?

St. Undershaft and St. Bodger have descended,

the patron saints of peace and temperance!

I am possessed!

Come, Barbara. I must have my dear

major to carry the flag with me.

Yes, yes, dear Major.

I can't come.

- Not come?

- Barbara.

Do you think I'm wrong

to take this money?

No. God help you, you must.

You're saving the Army.

Go! Go, and may you

have a great meeting.

But aren't you coming?

No.

Barbara, what are you doing?

Major, you can't be going to leave us.

Father, come here.

My dear...

No, don't be frightened.

There.

It's not much for 50,000, is it?

Barbara, if you won't

come and pray with us...

promise me you'll pray for us.

I can't pray now.

Perhaps I shall never pray again.

- Barbara!

- [Jenny] Majorl

- I can't bear any more.

- Barbara!

Quick! March!

Come on, Machiavelli!

I must go now, my dear.

You're overworked. You'll

be all right tomorrow.

We'll never lose you.

Now, Jenny, step out with

the old flag. Blood and fire!

[Jenny] Glory, hallelujahl

[Entire Corps Responds]

Glory, hallelujah!

[Cheering Resumes]

Hey, up there! "Immenso Giubilol"

## [Band:
March]

[General] Blood and fire!

My ducats and my daughter!

Money and gunpowder!

Drunkardness and murder.

## [Continues, Fades]

My God...

why hast thou forsaken me?

What price salvation now?

Don't you hit her when she's down.

She hit me when I was down. Why

shouldn't I get a bit of my own b...

Here, where's my money gone?

Blimey, if Jenny Hill

didn't take it after all.

You lie, you dirty blackguard!

Snobby Price pinched

it! I seen him do it!

What, stole my money?

Why didn't you call thief on

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