Major League: Back to the Minors Page #2

Gus Cantrell, our new skipper.

Welcome to our

unique little troupe.

Thanks.

- You aren't stuck or anything, are you?

- Nah. It's yoga.

Limber mind leads to a limber spine

which leads to a long life.

As we go, so goes the world.

We are the world, the world is us.

I'll have to jot that down.

You'd better unwind and get dressed,

unless you plan on playing naked.

Alright, Pops.

Came to baseball by way of the

New York City Ballet.

Ballet?

Went to an open tryout, he was such

a natural athlete they signed him.

He used to be a ballerina?

- I don't think guys are ballerinas.

- Balladeer?

- Don't balladeers sing?

- Nah, I think that's troubadours.

- That was me, I was out of position.

- Hog Ellis.

This is our new skipper, Gus Cantrell.

What's up?

- Nice to meet ya.

- Hog, show the skipper your fastball.

- Got some velocity there.

- Yeah.

You can bet on the hummer, babe.

It's all good.

Well, don't let me interrupt.

It's cool.

"Cool" is the only thing

he said I understood.

Hog ain't much on communication.

Remind me not to sit

next to him on road trips.

Gus Cantrell?

Remember me?

Rube Baker. I thought

you were with San Diego.

I was. Little control problem

came creeping back to haunt me.

Trouble making the throw to second?

Yeah, second...

And first.

Third a little. Still have trouble

getting it back to the pitcher.

Come on, I don't believe that. Just take

a deep breath, rear back and let her rip.

- Mom, they did it again!

- See what I mean?

You're a little bit off the mark,

but don't worry,

we'll get you straightened out.

You want me to go get that?

Don't worry about it.

Just keep warming him up.

- Good seeing you, Rube.

- Good seeing you, Gus.

Got any more balls?

I remember Gus Cantrell

from the old California AA league.

It was before Diet Coke became my beverage

of choice. Gus was a pretty fair pitcher.

But he'll have to be more than

pretty fair to turn this bunch

into anything that resembles

a baseball team.

Perplexed? Carlton Windgate, pitcher.

Everyone calls me Doc.

Gus Cantrell, manager.

Everybody calls me... Gus.

- Delighted to make your acquaintance.

- Yeah. Likewise.

So you have a question regarding

the scorecard?

As a matter of fact there

seems to be a mistake.

You've got Juan Lopez at second

and Juan Lopez at short.

It's no mistake. Juan!

- Hello Coach.

- Buenos das.

- Brothers?

- Twins.

- With the same name?

- Confounding isn't it?

Confounding seems to be

the word of the day.

Listen, from now on,

you're going to be Juan One.

- And you're gonne be Juan Two.

- Sounds good, Coach.

But... by numbering them, you risk

stifling their identities

and squelching their self esteem.

I don't wanna be rude here, Doc,

but how would you like to be Juan 3?

So a routine throw becomes a

2-base throwing error.

Mr. Buzz almost got nailed

by that missile.

And we all might be better off

had he got nailed.

All right, Lance! Shake it off, buddy!

Shake it off! Get the next one, bud!

Lance the dance had a

slippery one that time.

They don't call him

Ol' Stone Hands for nothing.

I've seen better hands on a clock.

Juan 1 has the ball,

still time to make the throw.

No, Juan 2 has the ball!

Hey, wait a second! It's a brawl!

Here we go again.

Come on, cut it out, you guys!

The brothers Lopez are going at it.

Juan 2 looks hurt.

No! Here he comes fighting back!

He connects with a right! Whoo! What a shot!

- Stop it! You can't play ball,

- I'll kill you!

You! You! You're both out of here!

So all Juan Lopezes concerned

get the heave-ho.

And right about now, Gus Cantrell

has gotta be wondering

why he ever took this job.

You know, fans, it's games like this

that used to get me overmedicated.

Just keep hitting them up the middle,

all right? They'll catch on.

He got a bad jump on that one.

Not only that, he ran too long

in the same spot.

Huh. Couldn't get a reading.

I got that used from

the highway department.

It doesn't pick up

anything under 55.

Under 55?

- How was that, Coach?

- Good, Doc.

You want to see my change-up

before you go?

No, no. I'm good.

Super. All right, we'll

stay with the heater.

Lance Romance.

Let me see your mitt.

Try this for a while.

I can't field with this.

Well, I hate to tell you, but

you ain't so hot with a glove, either.

Look, I want you to get

used to feeling the ball.

Loosen up those hands a little bit.

Okay, coach.

Go ahead, open it up.

It's a first baseman's mitt.

Yeah, that's what the guy at the

sporting goods store said it was.

I'm no first baseman. I'm an outfielder.

Been an outfielder all my life.

I know you're an outfielder, Pops.

I just think it might be

better for the team if we...

Hold on now.

I've been around a long time.

You don't have to give me

"the best thing for the team" speech.

I'll take it straight.

You're too old, you're too fat,

and you're too slow. Straight enough?

- Ah, that'll do it.

- But I like your bat.

And I need a leader on the field,

and I think you're my man. So, uh...

What do you say?

You want to give first base a shot?

Sure. I'm... If you think

that's best for the team.

Thanks, Pops.

Ok, so, "pure hitter"...

now, what's that mean?

See, I got these naturally

quick hands, you know?

Nioise.

I told you. We got Ranch, Italian,

Chunky Blue Cheese, which is 50 cents extra.

Do you have any

balsamic vinegar?

I got Ranch, Italian,

Chunky Blue Cheese.

Ok. You know what?

Forget the salad.

Bring me a gun, and I'll just

shoot myself, ok?

Pops, I was wondering...

You, uh... you ever

make it to The Show?

Came close once.

With the Red Sox organization.

It was in October.

A player got injured.

I got the call.

And I was on the plane flying into Boston

when a freak snowstorm hit.

We couldn't land.

Two days later, weather's fine,

so is the player.

- That was it?

- 20 years, professional baseball,

I circled The Show, couldn't land.

Windgate is what you'd

call a finesse pitcher...

moves the ball up and

down, in and out,

relies on control and savvy.

They time this kid's fastball

with an hourglass.

Anderson.

- Sacrifice him over.

- Sacrifice?

- Yeah. Bunt him over into scoring position.

- You're kidding me.

No, I'm not kidding you.

Lay one down.

Anderson drives one to left and deep.

Hey, get up, get out of here, gone!

And the Buzz lead this game 3-2.

Anderson!

I need to see you.

I'll put this sandwich to go,

bro, all right?

Yeah.

Pull up a chair.

See, uh... this ain't the

Downtown show, so, uh...

...when I ask you to lay one down,

you lay one down.

But I won the game.

Well, that's not the point.

We're a team here.

We do what's best for the team.

And I make that decision.

See, this isn't about one guy

doing what he wants to do.

Even if that one guy

wins a ball game?

Even if that one guy

wins a ball game.

I'm benching you

for the next 3 games.

- You're serious?

- Yeah.

But I'm on a roll. I've had 5 hits

in my last 12 at-bats,

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