Man and a Baby

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1

Concentrate, Pasanen. Concentrate.

Keep calm. Search. Search.

There! Colors and shapes.

Beans. Beanie beanie beans.

Vinegar, cream, sugar.

Where's the milk? Milk?

Bloody slipper!

I need to know the name of the

stuff that comes out of the tits.

For babies. What's

the trade name?

Mother's milk.

What do I buy? What's

the trademark?

Have a milkie. Have a tittie.

Have a babymoo. Have a sucky.

Have a babywhey. Have an oasis.

F*** buckskin buckskin f***.

Goo-goo. Goody-goo.

Sorry but I need to talk to your wife.

We're the neighbors.

Why? - We live there.

For two months now.

We've met once, at

the garbage cans.

It was amiable. Like hi, hi.

Why do you need to talk to Anna?

Cause I have one of these. A baby.

- What?

- A baby.

You have a few yourselves.

I'm this one's daddy.

Anna!

My wife had some complications.

Anesthesia. Surgery. Stitches.

I can't explain the details.

She'll be home soon. But

I left the bag behind.

- What?

- I left it there.

What? -A bag of breastmilk.

In the hospital.

We've only been

home a few hours.

We were going to the

shop but didn't.

What if I'll go to the supermarket?

The baby can stay here.

Were you at the delivery?

Didn't have time.

Too busy at work? - just

didn't have the time.

Pia forgot to tell me.

That she's giving birth?

- Yep.

- Okay.

For the record, a newborn never

goes home without the mother.

- No?

- No.

Not even under exceptional

circumstances?

MAN AND A BABY:

Welcome home-sign, check.

Vacuuming, check.

Dusting, check.

Mobile, check. Breastfeeding

pillow, check. Baby alarm.

Do you copy? Copy.

Cot. Pushchair.

Sausages and chockies, in the

same bowl, yuck, check. Yummy.

Hospital bag, Pia's bag.

Check. Check.

Aw! Check.

Howdy, daddy here, to

take you home. Hi.

- Where's the boy?

- What?

- Where's the boy?

- Not here.

You get the hell out of here.

Stalker.

The stress relief -

and the burden of having

a baby make her afraid.

New mothers can be

irritated, restless.

But soon they sense

the baby's needs -

and grow to motherhood.

Never lose your humor

in the childbed.

Later, you'll laugh at

all this, together.

I'll give you three pieces of

advice and they are crucial. First:

make him burp.

Second:
make him burp.

Third:
make him burp.

- Roger that.

Come here. Let's see the safety

seat daddy has brought here.

Where the f*** is our car?

At the parking lot.

Can't park here.

I'll get it. just

keep an eye on these.

Daddy will get the car.

We drive dada's car.

Like this!

I can't f***ing do this.

Do what?

This whole f***ing deal.

The car's right there.

Pia! What the hell?

Pia!

Thanks.

Are you going to be OK?

We're not buying anything. We're

not believers. Thanks. Bye.

Hold on. This is

an agreed visit.

The deals made by my wife

don't apply with me.

I'm Ulla. From the child health centre.

Didn't Pia mention this?

You must be Antti.

We've never met.

You never came to the

prenatal clinic.

Do you want me to join you?

Where?

- To the prenatal clinic.

- What?

OK, I'm on my way. Close

the door, I'm cold.

Work. A lot of work.

Almost four kilos. Any

problems with breastfeeding?

How come?

Artificial milk everywhere.

I'm out of tit milk. This

is the artificial stuff.

The tits have gone jogging.

The tits go where Pia goes.

When is she coming back?

Oh, she can run for hours.

So soon after labour? She never

told me she's an athlete.

When did she leave?

Right away.

Come back!

Just before you came by.

I have to go now. I have

two more house calls.

Too bad she wasn't around.

Things are under control here.

Oh, I'm not so sure. I've been busy.

Here you are. Resource

questionnaires.

Fill them out. Come see

me next week, all of you.

I'm not sure. I

might be working.

Just tell her when and where.

As soon as she walks in.

Do you have any questions?

Yes! Yes!

- Nothing special.

- Bye then.

Don't go!

I'll let this cool for a while.

Mirkku will tell what's the problem.

Markku flies away! Whoo!

Mirkku flies away! Whoo!

Ignoring your own needs, check.

Be present, check.

Be a man, check.

Grow up, check. Become

a father, check.

Don't give up! You're happy, I'm happy.

We're happy.

Don't give up! What the hell?

Why am I skiing?

This is Antti Pasanen's show

and he reaches the line...

This is a weird dream. This has to stop.

This is a nightmare.

Hey, that's Pia. This

is a happy dream.

Have you ever thought what a

f***ing dreary person you are?

Hi. Came to see how you're doing.

And found one of these.

- Haven't killed her.

- Who?

My wife. She just left me.

And the boy. Us.

Now you know. Come in,

I'll make some coffee.

She's not answering her phone.

It's turned off.

Did you notice anything?

Things not being OK?

How exactly was it?

No, I didn't. No signs at all.

Is there a place she could be at?

With her parents?

Don't think so. They live in Spain.

Don't think so.

With a friend?

She doesn't have any.

She took some distance when she

got pregnant. From everyone.

Even from me.

Then we moved here. We've

been married only a year.

A quick decision.

Too quick, I guess.

- Reponen.

- What?

You could ask around a bit.

No, you just go on.

Reponen. At work.

Right. I could ask

around a bit at work.

Right. OK.

Thanks.

- Nothing.

- What nothing?

We have no knowledge of her whereabouts.

Not us or the hospitals.

What can we do then?

When it's an adult

we can't even

report her missing.

But she is missing.

When a healthy person

leaves her family -

it's not the same as

literally going missing.

You just have to think

where your wife has gone.

What else do you think I'm thinking?

All the time.

Don't know. I'm a policeman.

Not a mind reader.

I'll make dinner for the kids.

Hormones...

The second I think about

those days I feel sick.

Didn't you want to leave your husband?

To split?

Not once. But murder came

to my mind a few times.

How long do you think

she needs you home?

A few weeks. To get

back to her feet.

I feel for her.

I know that breastfeeding

can be hell.

When the babies get their first

teeth, they're like vampires.

Be a mother's little helper for a

while and then we'll re-evaluate.

Was it so easy? Are you

going to be OK without me?

No way. The whole company will go belly up.

As you can see.

Say hi at home. My condolences.

Thanks. I'll pass them on.

- Bye.

- Bye.

That went well. Really well.

Except I ate a cookie

from the floor.

Peippo? Peippo! Up here!

How do you like the new place?

Pretty OK...

How's, what was it again?

A boy.

- How's the boy?

- O K.

- But Helena's not well?

- Pia.

To say it straight -

- she's insane.

- Helena?

Pia.

She's gone mad?

Yep. Quite insane.

I see. My girlfriend

was at the funny farm.

- What?

- Yep. For over 10 years.

What the hell?

I had no idea. How is she?

Who?

Your girlfriend.

Quite well, I guess.

- Must be tough.

- To whom?

To you, damn it. To her.

Don't know.

How does it feel when your

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