Man in the Chair Page #2

Citizen Kane

is gonna be a great film.

Murray.

MURRAY:

Escort this man off the set.

I would never do something

like that on purpose!

I love my job!

Why would I try to lose it?

If you love your job, you'll

never work a day in your life.

Winston Churchill!

Wait, Wait. Bring him back!

Churchill... Well, bravo!

An electrician

who can actually read!

What a pleasant surprise.

Well played.

What's your name?

Glenn Madden.

Glenn Madden? [Laughs]

No, I don't think so.

From now on, your name

will be "Flash" Madden.

You'll go further, trust me.

CHARLTON HESTON:
You gonna do

something about it?

WELLES:
Well, make it a charge.

Isn't that police procedure

in Mexico?

- Procedure?

- You say your wife was attacked.

I did not say she was attacked.

- Did you say she was molested?

- Not physically.

Charlton Heston

playin' a Mexican.

Jesus Christ,

give me a friggin' break.

- I don't think so.

- How do you explain the fact...

You never could act

in pants, Chuckles!

WELLES:
Joe Grandi.

That's right.

Go on.

Pony Express was the first

film he ever wore pants in.

Before that, he was

in all those Roman epics.

You know,

wearin' those fag robes?

[Chuckling]

MAN ON SCREEN:
Mr. Vargas

is not on the witness stand.

[Chuckling]

MAN IN FILM:

Hank's a born lawyer, you know.

He was pretty good

in Ben-Hur. I'll give him that.

[Flash sighs]

Thank God you shot this

in black and white.

CAMERON:
[Chuckles]

Great.

Another monument

to the next generation.

When a murderer's loose,

I'm supposed to...

[Film stops]

Hello?

Earth to Beverly!

[Shouting] Is anyone home?

God damn it!

What minimum-wage moron's

in charge today?

What the hell's

going on in here?

An imbecile convention?

Get off your brains

and do something.

PROJECTIONIST:
Oh sh*t!

Gimme that friggin' thing.

Oh, my God! My Game Boy!

I'm sure that Santa will

bring you a new one.

I'm sorry, everybody!

[Electrical snaps, buzzing]

[Fire extinguisher hisses]

My God,

is everybody all right?!

FLASH:
Keep hiring

the handicapped, Klein.

They're such fun to watch.

I want my goddamn money back.

You never pay anyway, Flash.

[Shouting] Why should I,

with service like this?

Get out of my way,

you little sh*t!

PROJECTIONIST:

He sure yells a lot.

Is he hearing-impaired?

No, he just likes to yell!

[Traffic passing]

[Whooshing]

[Whooshing]

[Whooshing]

MAN:
? As far as I know ?

? They go ?

? 'Cause it's never quite ?

? What it seems ?

? You know ?

? But you don't ?

? 'Cause you dropped yourself

to your knees ?

? It dawned on me ?

? See, if it were me ?

? I'd agree ?

? That it pays to be ?

? More like you ?

? Would you know ?

? And you show ?

? 'Cause you dropped

yourself to your knees ?

? It dawned on me ?

[Whooshing]

? Ahh... ?

? Oh... ?

? Oh... ah... ?

? Ah... ?

? Ooh-ooh ?

[Music ends]

[Whoosh,

car engine revs loudly]

CAMERON:
Double headlights.

Red and white.

Big fins, lots of chrome.

- Is it her?

- It's her. [Sniffs]

Are you sure it's Christine?

Dude, 1958 Plymouth Fury,

just like the one in the movie.

[Engine revs...]

[Whooshing]

John Carpenter.

Cool director.

BOTH:
Money!

MURPHY:
Bad to the bone.

? B-bad to the bone ?

? B-b-b-b-bad ?

- CAMERON:
Shut the light off.

- MURPHY:
Would you chill, man?

[Car door opens]

- MURPHY:
Go go go go go!

- CAMERON:
Shhh.

[Horn honks]

- Come on, come on, come on.

- CAMERON:
Shut up!

I think I see someone,

I think I see someone.

MURPHY:
Go.

[Electric sizzle,

engine roars]

[Tires squeal, car revs]

MAN:
My, my, my!

[Engine hums...]

[Laughing and whooping]

Go Christine!

Do your nasty, girl!

Be a bad girl, yeah!

CAMERON:
Yee-ha!

[Engine humming...]

I feel like Han Solo

in the Millennium Falcon.

Can I be Chewbacca?

You can be Chewy, if you want.

[lmitates Chewy's growl]

Tell me that was not Chewy!

That was Chewy... What?

That was the worst Chewy

I've ever heard in my life.

That was a good Chewy!

[Both imitate Chewy]

Whatever.

[Police siren wails]

Sh*t, 5-0.

CAMERON:

"5-0", O.K., there, Snoop Dogg.

[Siren continues]

It's not so bad, only one.

[Siren whoops, horn blares]

Don't be harshing

my mellow, po-pos!

It's not bad.

Dude, relax, dude. It's fine.

[More police sirens wail]

CAMERON:
Sh*t.

OFFICER:

Pull the vehicle over!

Now it's bad.

OFFICER:
Pull over! Now!

- Pull over, dude.

- OFFICER:
Do it!

[Sirens wail...]

OFFICER:
Let's see your hands!

Get your hands up!

All right, shut off the engine.

Hands up!

[Police radio squawks...]

[Door thuds loudly]

So you're boosting cars now.

What's next? Banks?

That's pretty funny, Floyd.

Listen, you're through

screwing up, buddy boy.

[Whooshing]

Cameron,

they took your license.

They took it

six months ago, Mom.

And the principal said that

you're cutting classes again.

Where are you going

during the day?

Teachers don't give a sh*t.

Well, we're serious

this time, Cameron.

We're not bailing you out again.

Yeah, we'll see how you smile...

after ten days in County

with the big boys.

Oh, you oughta know.

[Whooshing]

FLO YD:
It's not working!

This! This, this...

JUD Y:
What? This?

FLO YD:
This, the kid, okay?

The kid!

JUD Y:
Well, the kid comes

with me.

- I think you understood that...

- FLO YD:
Well, I don't know him.

[argument

continues indistinctly]

FLO YD:
Maybe

I'm just not a father, O. K?

Maybe

I'm just not a father type.

JUD Y:
Why didn't you

tell me that before?

That's not what I

heard before...

FLO YD:
O.K., because maybe

I wanted to make it work.

- Maybe I wanted something.

- So do I.

FLO YD:
O.K., well, it's

just not working, all right?

- JUD Y:
Why isn't it?

- Because... look at the kid.

He's not even going to school,

for Christ's sake!

I gotta... We gotta go down

and bail him...

We gotta bail him out of jail

at this time of day...

I gotta go to work!

And what...

JUD Y:
He's been through a lot,

you know? O. K? You know.

FLO YD:
O.K. I know

he's been through a lot.

I don't wanna talk about

his father, O. K?

JUD Y:
Oh, I see.

We're not supposed

to talk about stuff now!

FLO YD:
O.K., what,

you wanna talk about it?!

Why don't you go find him,

bring him back...

you guys can live a happy

marriage, a happy family life...

JUD Y, CRYING:

Damn it! Don't say that!

FLO YD:
I'm trying to give it to

you... I can't give it to you!

[Argument

continues indistinctly]

[Lawn mower buzzes...]

NURSE:
Oh, no, you don't!

There's no smoking

for you, Flash.

That's the doctor's orders.

Come on,

give an old man a break!

NURSE:
No way.

[Cameron whistles]

Hey...

Hey. Come here.

[Turns mower off]

Que quieres?

[Lawn mower buzzes]

Nice day, huh?

[Flash spits]

So, um...

[Turns mower off]

you like movies?

FLASH:
Huh?

You like movies?

Yeah, some of them.

CAMERON:

Uh, you wanna make one?

Who's directing?

You're lookin' right at him.

Bugger off

and mow the grass, kid.

It's a...

It's completely legit.

It's, um...

It's a high school film.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes