Man in the Chair Page #8

[Radio plays music...]

Hey.

Hey, Cam!

Whoa, it looks like an

extreme makeover or something...

going on out there.

Yeah, they started

to spruce the place up...

when they heard

about our little project.

Wonder how they found out

about that?

- Well, I'm proud of this.

- Yeah? Me too.

? Ta-taah ?

[Typewriter roll zips]

- It's finished?

- For now.

You don't

write in this business.

You re-write.

We have a screenplay.

This is great.

It's great dialogue.

You're the man, Mick.

Thanks.

The man for what?

You know. You're the man!

Anyway, it's not the dialogue...

it's the subtext

I'm concerned about.

The unspoken calendar of

tensions, feelings, inner events.

That's what matters to me.

Sounds cool.

Yeah, thanks.

Let's go make a movie, huh?

Money!

[?...]

[Whooshing]

[Whooshing]

[Whooshing]

[?...]

[?...]

[?...]

[Music fades]

And that's a wrap.

- We're done!

- MURPHY:
Yeah!

CAMERON:
That's a wrap!

I can't believe we did it!

FLASH:
No, you did it, kid!

Get out of here. We all did it.

Want a cigar?

Dumb question.

Time to burn some more

of Castro's crops, huh?

Call it national pride, amigo.

Oh, my God.

You don't keep the cigars

in your underwear drawer!

It's the best humidor around.

I can imagine where

the humidity comes from.

Yeah, my point exactly.

CAMERON:
You sure

you're all right, Flash?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm a little tired, that's all.

My last film was in 1968.

[Chuckling] Money, dude!

What the hell does that mean,

huh? "Money"?

I dunno, uh, money!

I don't know! [Chuckling]

- I'm gonna go to the lab.

- CAMERON:
All right.

That clears it up.

Yeah, I'm out of here,

right behind you.

[Coughing] Me too.

Wait, my mom will give

you guys a ride home.

MICKEY:

You sure she doesn't mind?

We don't wanna be any trouble.

We'll take the ride.

[lmitating Flash]

We'll take the ride.

Thanks, kid.

CAMERON:
I'll go get her.

Next shot's in a glass.

Go ahead, Flash.

You deserve it.

Don't mind if I do.

I don't know,

the edit's looking really good.

[Distant train whistle]

It could work.

We might have a chance.

Are you kidding? It rocks.

But something's missing.

You're wack, dude.

What the hell is Flash doing?

Oh, this can't be good.

- Flash!

- [Flash grunts incoherently]

CAMERON:
Be careful!

He means don't get caught!

[Laughing drunkenly]

We did it, boys!

We made a movie!

You promised not to drink.

Only... till we wrapped.

MURPHY:
What are you doing?

FLASH:

I'm doin' the right thing!

What are you talking about?

FLASH:

I'm not gonna leave without 'em!

BOTH:
Without who?

[Puppies barking]

[Dogs barking]

Definitely not good.

[Whooshing]

Hey, roll on this.

All right, you got it.

- This looks familiar, right?

- I'm feelin' you, dude.

Dogs and humans,

there's no difference.

[Gate rattles]

Flash, what the hell...

[Dogs barking...]

CAMERON:

What the hell you doing?

I'm settin' 'em free.

What the hell

do you think I'm doing?

MURPHY:
Sh*t, Cameron.

We can't get busted again.

CAMERON:

Murph's right, Flash. We can't...

Murph's a coward just like

that son of a b*tch, Nietzsche!

Hey! Go on then!

[Puppies barking]

FLASH:
Oh! Hey!

Let my people go!

Run, doggies!

CAMERON:

Run where, Flash, where?

- Hey, I know a place.

- Where?

- Get the truck!

- CAMERON:
Flash, we can't!

- MURPHY:
No, no way.

- You're pussies!

- I'll get it myself.

- Flash, this is not cool!

This is grand theft auto, O. K?

And I know a little

something about it...

and I won't do it again!

I am not leavin'

without those dogs!

I mean, they're gonna kill 'em!

Don't you care?

Flash, of course I care.

After all I've done for you...

you can't do this one

small thing for me?

This one small felony.

FLASH:
Yeah, I know

a dog park in Boyle Heights.

Yeah, at least dumping dogs

in a dog park...

is only a misdemeanor.

Who goes to dog parks?

Dog owners, dog lovers,

people who give a sh*t.

CAMERON:
Yeah,

but they already have dogs.

That's why they go there.

And it's midnight.

No one's even gonna be

there right now anyway.

FLASH:
Yeah, I know that,

but in the morning...

when the dog lovers

show up, hey, who knows?

The dogs may get lucky and...

Dog people are crazy.

They're nuts!

When they get together...

it's worse than an A.A. meeting.

But the bottom line is

they love dogs...

more than life itself,

and that's perfect for us.

And our seventeen friends.

See, Flash?

Eh, they don't mean it.

Open it up.

[Dogs whimpering and barking]

Ain't that a pretty sight.

I have to admit,

they are a happy bunch.

Right, but animal control'll

come and pick 'em up tomorrow.

At least they have tonight.

CAMERON:

Come on, let's get out of here...

before human control

comes and picks us up.

[Dogs barking faintly]

CHOIR:
? Silent night ?

? Holy night... ?

Leaders are born.

Leaders are made.

To be a leader,

all you need is followers.

Have you ever heard the term

"natural-born leader"?

Why do you have to argue

about everything that I say?

He's not arguing, Floyd.

He's topping. He's a topper.

You know, whatever you say,

he tops. It's a kid thing.

That's horseshit.

Cameron, please.

Sorry, Mom.

Kids are trying

to find their voice.

You know, they want to be heard,

they want to be respected.

It's easy to respect back

when they respect us.

FLASH:
It's one thing to,

uh, demand respect.

It's another

to command respect.

[Chuckles] Am I right, Floyd?

Is he right, Floyd?

Yeah, right.

This was

the best Christmas turkey...

I have eaten

since before I started...

eating strained prunes

on an irregular basis.

Thank you, Flash.

It was my pleasure.

It was great, Mom.

Well, it deserves a toast,

let me tell you.

O.K.

Hey, come on, Floyd.

You don't have to be a dick

every day of your life.

Good God, Flash.

[Laughs] Easy, easy, Flash.

Eh, I'm just messing with him.

Right, Floyd?

You and me, we understand

each other, right?

Yeah, I think we do.

I'll get coffee and dessert.

[Choir singing carols]

Do you have to work

at being an a**hole...

or does it come naturally?

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

Because it comes

real natural for me.

Your point is?

Point is, pal...

that being an a**hole

every day of your life...

is a dead-end for loneliness.

One day,

you're gonna wake up...

and find there's no one else

left to be mean to.

And on that day...

hey, hey, hey, you die.

What crap.

I've been meaner than

a snake to most people I know.

But now that I'm

at the end of my game...

there are precious few left.

My ass bleeds for you.

Yeah, felt good for you

to say that, didn't it?

As a matter of fact, it did.

Yeah, I know.

I used to take great pleasure

in doing sh*t like that.

- I was a master at it.

- Fascinating.

Listen to me,

you dim-witted mud hook.

I'm trying to tell you

something...

something important...

and you choose to crack wise.

Now, trust me, if you want

your ears boxed...

I'll gladly oblige.

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