Man of the Moment Page #2

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You're not allowed to stand, sir.

There is a seat vacant up here.

Be careful. You've done

enough damage for one day.

Would you fasten your belt please, sir?

- I don't wear one.

- I mean your safety belt, sir.

Oh! I thought you were getting me at it!

- Allow me.

- Thank you.

- Sonia!

- I beg your pardon?

Sorry. Picture of Sonia Karol.

Famous film star.

I reckon she's smashing.

When you've finished with that,

can I have it? Please?

Well, yes, in a minute.

Thank you very much.

Do you collect film stars' photographs?

Only hers. I've got 107!

Oh, sorry.

I think she's wonderful.

You must do.

- Enjoying your trip, madam?

- Very much, thank you.

- Everything all right, sir?

- Yes, thank you. Very nice.

Always is on this line.

- Who was that?

- The pilot.

Pilot? Well, who's driving, then?

Hey!

There is another pilot, you know.

(All exclaiming)

- You're the British delegation?

- Quite right.

- There will be no baggage examination.

- Thank you.

Hey, what's your game?

- Garfield?

- Yes?

- There you are.

- Cooper?

- I am here.

- You could have got it yourself.

Lloyd? Lloyd!

Hey, Lloydy, come on. Wake up!

That's private.

You can look after the heavy stuff.

There's one here with no name on.

Whose is this with no name on?

Ain't it marvellous?

Hey, it's mine! I'll take that.

Mitchell. Here y'are.

- Jennings?

- Yes?

Jackson. There y'are.

I'll look after this lot.

You can wash and brush up.

- Will you kindly control yourself?

- What's up?

Keep your voice down!

- (Softly) What's up?

- Oh... This way, gentlemen.

- What room am I in, please?

- Your name?

Norman. With the British delegation.

I'm afraid there is no reservation.

What, they left me out?

Hey, Mr Jackson! Mr Jackson!

- I ain't got nowhere to sleep.

- I forgot all about you.

- Would you look after my filing clerk?

- Yes, sir.

- This is he.

- Yes, sir.

Sign here, Mr Norman.

We are very busy.

Top floor. Room 700.

Sorry!

- Have you got the key?

- Key?

- Room 700, please.

- Oui, monsieur.

Septime.

The top floor is for staff.

The staff is not allowed to use the lift.

- Oh, I can use the stairs, then?

- Oui.

You're very kind.

I'm only here for a week!

Cor blimey.

(Laughing) Smashing!

Ah! Ah!

(Whistle)

- Oh!

- Ooh!

- Sorry.

- It'd have to be you, wouldn't it?

- Yes. Er...no.

- What a nice surprise.

- Is it?

- No.

- Funny we should bump into each other.

- Most amusing.

- Isn't it marvellous? Hey, miss!

- Yes.

Miss, I know I'm awkward

but I really am sorry.

That was nice of you.

Is this your first trip?

- Yes. And yours?

- Mm, I'm on holiday.

- What are you doing?

- I'm with the British delegation.

- I'm attending a conference.

- Really?

- I'm chief filing clerk.

- How interesting.

A very responsible job.

Yes, I'm sure it is.

(Yodelling)

(Mouthing)

(lnaudible)

# All day long in Switzerland

# There's a song in Switzerland

# They yodel and yodel away

# It's the loveliest language they say

# Instead of good morning

the Swiss always say

# Yodelee, yodelee, yodelay

# When gathering corn

or enjoying their play

# Yodelee, yodelee, yodelay

# They yodel when dancing

and when they're romancing

# A yodel, they say,

keeps your worries away

# And when there's a wedding,

the bells even play

# Yodelee, yodelee, yodelay

# Instead of good morning

the Swiss always say

# Yodelay-ee

# Yodelay, yodelay

# When gathering corn

or enjoying their play

- # Yodelee... #

- (Expert yodelling)

# They yodel when dancing

and when they're romancing

# A yodel, they say,

keeps your worries away

# And when there's a wedding,

the bells even play... #

(lntricate yodelling)

(Continues yodelling)

(Mouths intricate yodelling)

Oh!

Penny!

- Good morning.

- Morning.

There are details to discuss on ltem 17.

- I'll ring for breakfast.

- Yes, right.

(Humming)

- Here is the Pacific Ocean.

- Yes, I see that.

And who did that?

Oh! Ooh! Oh!

Oh, my goodness!

My dear chap.

- Better have a look.

- This is an outrage!

Whoever it is,

they'll pay for this. The indignity!

Mitchell! For heaven's sake,

sit up, man. Ohh!

(Conversing quietly)

- Ground floor, please.

- Staff may not use the lift.

I'm not on the staff!

Hey!

Oh!

Coming down! Look out, miss!

(Giggling)

Come here, my little duckling!

Which floor is...

Staff is not allowed to use the lift.

Which floor is Mr Jackson on?

He wants me.

Oh. Sixth floor.

Oh! I've gotta go up

all those stairs again!

You will be very careful

with Mr Mitchell, please.

- Norman.

- You wanted to see me?

I do indeed. So does the rest

of the delegation. Come this way.

Come this way, my boy.

Just sit down there, would you?

That's right.

Norman, a catastrophe has happened.

Mr Mitchell has been incapacitated.

He only got hit on the head with a bowl.

Oh. Er...

Tomorrow's conference is worrying us.

We'll only have five representatives.

Everyone else has six.

- We can't be outnumbered by Ecuador.

- Nor the United States.

- Good Lord, no.

- No.

- No.

- And so...can you put up your hand?

There's a clever boy.

Gentlemen, I ask you.

- Where did you learn to do that?

- At school, if I wanted to go to...

Naturally.

Tomorrow, but only for tomorrow,

you will take Mr Mitchell's place.

- Me?

- Yes. Just vote when I tell you to.

I'm going to be a delegate?

This is the unhappiest day of my life.

The answer is yes.

But only until Mr Mitchell returns.

- I'll have a suit like yours?

- Course.

- And stripes all down me trousers?

- Yes, indeed.

One minute. I want a proper room.

- With a window.

- That's very difficult.

Listen, no window...no delegate.

(All talking at once)

Phone down immediately.

A large room with a window.

- And I want a hat.

- Yes, a hat.

- Then I'll be the same as you!

- Course you will!

(Screaming)

I'll be one of the delegation!

This was Mr Mitchell's room, monsieur.

Monsieur? Key.

The gentleman who was moved into

Room 600 may now use the lift.

Bien.

Hello? It's Room 600 'ere.

(Posh voice)

This is Mr Norman's secretary speaking.

On his behalf, naturally.

Cos he's having a bit of a kip, see.

He's expecting his tailors,

and as soon as they arrive...

would you show them up? Splendid.

- (Knocking)

- Come in.

You rang, sir?

Cor!

Er... Oh, er...I thought

I was switching on the light.

Oh.

No, that is the light switch by your bed.

And, er...

this is the bell.

And that is the telephone.

But please, sir, ring again

if you need anything.

Erm...well, I'll...

- (Knocking)

- (Muffled) Come in!

Ja?

Nothing I want at all!

La chambre six cents,

s'il vous plat, mademoiselle.

I'm in the bath!

- (Knocking)

- I'm in the bath!

Bonjour, monsieur.

Here we bring the new suit.

- Oh, my conference clobber!

- Bonjour, monsieur.

- If monsieur is fit, we can fit.

- Bonjour, monsieur.

So! Bon!

Bon, bon!

Smashing, eh? I shan't need

that any more, that's one thing.

Smashing, isn't it, eh?

Smashing! So...

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