Man on the Flying Trapeze Page #5

Yes, sir.

Yet you deliberately drove into | this zone knowing all those things.

No, sir. | What?

Yes, sir, | but if I can explain.

The officer on point duty | told me to drive in here

and run into the motorcycle... | Policeman's bicycle.

He did, eh? | Yes, sir.

Well, that's fine.

I suppose if he told you to pull out a gun | and shoot me, you'd have done that, too.

Yes, sir. | What?

No, sir.

Now, understand one thing.

No matter what anybody tells | you to do, I'm running this beat.

All right, now, | get out of here.

Thank you, sir.

Get out right now. I don't | mean a week from next Friday.

This very minute, right now.

Yes, sir. | Now, beat it.

I'll be out.

Sorry, Officer.

I'm not an officer. | I'm the chauffeur of that car.

And let me tell you one thing. | Don't back into that car again.

I'm very sorry. | You get me?

Yes, sir.

Well, any time | you're ready, Henry.

Sorry, madam.

Correct me if I'm wrong.

Did I tell you to get out of here, or | didn't I tell you to get out of here?

No, sir. | What?

I mean, yes, sir.

You see, but I'm wedged in | between these trunks in the front

and the other gentleman | in the...

Oh, excuse me. He isn't there.

What for you went back into the | ambulance and throw out my brother, huh?

I... I...

Does Mrs. Ambrose | Wolfinger live here? Yes.

Flowers for Mrs. Neselrode.

Thank you.

These flowers are for you, | dear.

"Abide with Him. "

"Our deepest sympathy | in your great bereavement.

"The steno department. "

What on earth?

What... What...

What's this?

What's this about?

"Rest in peace. "

From Mr. Malloy.

Maybe something's | happened to Claude.

Or Ambrose, or Hope.

Well, something has | certainly happened to someone.

Oh, dear, that bell.

"Mr. Peabody. "

Oh, I wish Claude were here! | He could tell us what to do.

I'll telephone Ambrose.

Do!

Hello?

I want to speak to | Mr. Ambrose Wolfinger, please.

Mr. Wolfinger isn't here | this afternoon.

He's taking the afternoon off to | attend his mother-in-law's funeral.

His mother-in-law's funeral?

Why, that's absurd!

Who is this speaking?

This is | Mrs. Ambrose Wolfinger.

My mother's not dead. | She's in perfect health!

There must be some mistake.

Oh, I see.

Good day, Mrs. Wolfinger.

What in heaven's name | is this all about?

The second bout of the | afternoon will be between...

And here we have...

Easy, easy. Easy.

Just another foot.

I thought you said | another foot!

I thought it was | another foot.

I beg your pardon. It | was my mistake. Pardon me.

When his car | backed into yours...

Yeah, well, it was my fault.

I told him to come back, | you see, another foot.

Probably so, but the backing | of the car released your wheel,

and your wheel is now | running down the street.

My wheel is running...

Godfrey Daniel! Excuse me.

I'll be right back. I'll pay | for any damage. Excuse me.

Listen to this!

"Poison liquor sends another | victim to the grave today. "

Read that.

"When Mrs. Cordelia Neselrode, | the 15th fatality, succumbed

"complaining of a pain in her chest, | she imbibed a small quantity of liquor

"and within a few minutes, | died.

"It was reported | that the tragic details

"were related by | Mr. Ambrose Wolfinger,

"grieving son-in-law | of the deceased. "

He's a fiend! | A wool in sheep's clothing!

A what? | A wolf in sheep's clothing.

Oh, when Claude comes home tonight, | he'll avenge his mother's honor!

And now we come to the | main bout of the afternoon.

In this corner we have...

And over here we have...

Come on!

Mr...

No more standing room.

Any more sitting room?

Any more...

Get the chauffeur's number.

Oh, Mr. Wolfinger. | What's happened?

What's happened? | I don't know. I'm tired.

Oh, my goodness.

Drunk again | and lying in the gutter.

Let go of his head, lady.

Why, he's dying. | Do something.

Oh, here's Claude.

Oh, Claude!

Look out, Ma. Have you | seen the evening paper?

Yes, and have you | seen the flowers?

No, but I saw Ambrose.

Has anything happened to Dad?

Yes.

He's lost his position | with the firm,

and this afternoon he took | a fiendish pleasure

in telling Mr. Malloy | and the newspapermen

that my dear, sweet mother had | died of alcoholic poisoning,

and had gone to | a drunkard's grave.

Yes, but you don't know | that he then got his secretary

and took her to | the wrestling matches

where they drank themselves into | imbecility and fell into the gutter.

I don't believe it. | I don't believe a word of it.

A little nose candy... | A little nosegay, dear.

What does this mean?

What does...

Godfrey Daniel!

Who's dead? | Your perfidious brain is dead.

Dad, did you tell Mr. | Malloy and the newspapers

that Mrs. Neselrode died | of alcoholic poisoning

and went to | a drunkard's grave?

I did not tell | the newspapers

that Mrs. Neselrode died and | went to a drunkard's grave.

Did you take your secretary to the | wrestling matches this afternoon?

Dear, I pledge you my word I did not take | my secretary to the wrestling matches.

I took no one | to the wrestling matches.

But I guess you did see the | wrestling matches this afternoon, Dad.

No, the funny thing about it,

I didn't even see the wrestling | matches this afternoon.

Is that the truth?

Sweetheart, I take an oath | on your poor mother's grave.

I never saw the wrestling | matches this afternoon.

Things happened.

I believe you, Dad.

Oh, don't say anything more. | I know everything.

Now, don't cry, dear.

You're exaggerating things | in your mind. Don't lie to me.

My poor brain can't stand it!

That black eye and your condition prove | you were drunk and lying in the gutter!

I was not drunk!

There, I knew it.

What are you talking about? I | saw you at the wrestling matches.

You were drunk, | lying in the gutter,

and you had your secretary with | you, and she was drunk, too!

Listen, Claude, I've had a lot | of trouble in the last 24 hours,

and I've just about | heard enough from you.

I admit that I was wrong

in asking for the afternoon off | to go to the wrestling matches

and giving, as an excuse, | Mrs. Neselrode dying,

but that is all.

You were drunk, and you | were lying in the gutter,

and you did take | your secretary!

You keep quiet and let my father | tell his story in his own way!

Don't you yell at me | or I'll slap you in the mouth!

Oh, you fiend! You fiend!

Dad! Dad! | Let me go! Let me go!

I'll knock them | for a row of lib-labs.

Leave this house and never | cross the threshold again,

and take your ungrateful minx | of a daughter with you!

Dad, come on.

I'll exterminate | the three of them.

Come on, | we'll go for a little ride.

"Rest in peace. "

Come on.

Wait a minute, dear. | Well...

Okay.

Did you ring, sir? | Yes.

There's a Mr. Mockenbock who's | arriving from Hungary tomorrow morning.

I see by the files that his rating is | A-one and he's an important customer,

but I can't find anything | personal to talk to him about.

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