Manhattan Romance Page #2

do much about it.

They came before her.

That's amazing.

I mean, it doesn't surprise me.

I've seen you with men,

and I've thought like,

"For a lesbian,

she's very flirty with men. "

No, I'm just kidding.

- I'm kidding.

- I have to open the studio.

If I pull down with two hands,

it's a fumble!

You should actually

have a relationship

instead of making movies

about them.

It's so boring!

I mean, what did

Woody Allen say?

He said, "I can only live

in my art, not in my life. "

And I totally relate.

- What?

- It's so f***ed up

that you're taking life advice

from Woody Allen.

I'm not taking

life advice from him.

I'm just saying I relate.

I don't know. I think

I just like being alone.

You gotta stop

saying that, dude.

- Why? It's true.

- I know it's true,

but when you say that to girls

when they first meet you,

they think you're a weirdo.

- I am a weirdo.

- No, you're not.

You're not a weirdo

because you like to be alone

some of the time.

That's totally natural.

Everybody feels like that.

I just like being

in my day, you know?

- That's great.

- Is it great?

How could it be any better

than this right now?

We got music,

it's two degrees outside,

we're having coffee.

I mean, getting laid would be

nice every once in a while.

Totally. How long has it been?

I'd rather not say.

Oh, my God.

- What?

- Oh, my God.

How many weeks?

It's been months!

- Will you stop?

- How many months?

Maybe... I don't know.

I don't have a sex calendar

where I mark off the days.

It was definitely warmer

the last time I had sex.

- Oh, my God.

- It's not that big a deal.

You remember it's like

some distant season.

In spring.

There were buds on the tree.

Will you have sex

with my friend?

Ow.

You are so in love with him.

Shut up.

I'm not in love with him,

I just love him.

There is a distinction.

You know,

he's sweet and charming,

and I just wanna see him

with a nice girl, that's all.

Maybe he doesn't want

a nice girl.

Oh, come on. Of course he does.

Who doesn't want a nice girl?

I don't know.

Maybe he likes being alone.

That's what he says, but...

I don't know. I don't buy it.

Why not?

I love that he doesn't need

to be with someone all the time.

I'm not saying he needs to

be with someone all the time.

Just, you know, some of time.

I mean, I've never seen him

with anyone except these...

creepy new-age girls

who torture him.

I mean, you would not

believe some of things

he's told me

these girls say and do,

in the name of

going with the flow.

It sucks.

I know.

Yeah?

Hmm?

You know? What do you know?

What do you mean?

Oh, my God, I caught you!

Em, I know when you're

not listening to me.

I'm sorry.

- Unbelievable.

- I'm sorry!

I'm distracted.

You know that work

is crazy right now.

So why don't you close your

computer and hang out with me?

I will in a second.

Let me just do

this one thing, okay?

I'm meeting with the election

committee woman tomorrow.

- Okay.

- What?

Nothing.

What are you doing?

- Nothing.

- Mm-hmm.

I thought you were

making us dinner.

It's cookin', good-lookin'.

- So tell me this.

- Mm-hmm.

Can your election

committee woman do this?

Stop that. That's disgusting.

Oh, come on.

- Do not be mad at me.

- I'm not mad.

I'm very, very sorry.

You did stick your tongue

in my ear.

It's kinda wet and gross.

No. You know what?

I'm not into it anymore.

Yes, you are. You're always

into it, you little nymph.

- F*** off.

- Sweetie...

I'm sorry if I'm attracted

to my girlfriend.

I was kidding.

Come on, I was kidding.

Huh?

- Huh?

- You always do this!

- What?

- No, you know what?

If I have to explain it,

just forget it.

Come on.

Don't be such

a little baby, huh?

- Can't take a joke suddenly.

- F*** you.

Why aren't you ticklish?

It's so unfair.

Oh, f*** off. I'm going.

I'll make you your dinner,

madam!

One of these nights,

you're cooking.

In your dreams, sweet cakes.

Oh, my God.

Why do I have to be the mom?

Uh, I think I burnt this.

Well, it doesn't

make a lot of sense

because I have

a really close friendship...

Hey, did you finish

the behind-the-scenes?

Oh, that was the airline thing.

No, before that.

What is that you're working on?

It was nothing.

- No.

- Everybody does it. Show me.

- Really?

- Please. I'm bored.

- What is it?

- It's nothing.

It's this doc that I've been

working on for years.

It's going to be a cure

for boredom,

but if you really wanna

see it, uh, here.

What's it about?

It's about uh,

you know, people's lives

and relationships and... Here.

I started like... I don't...

I... First of all...

I did the camera shake

intentionally.

Yeah, it looks like

a battle scene or something.

To avoid it.

Back-lit.

It's supposed to look bad.

So is she,

is she like mentally ill?

No, she's not mentally ill.

She's just talking about

her relationship history.

Romantic relationships.

Or other kinds. If they don't

have romantic relationships,

then how they, you know,

subvert that emotion

in other ways

and, you know,

just connection, basically.

Highbrow.

Sort of, but I don't know

where it's going right now.

I'm just trying to find

the heart of the doc.

Hey, there he is.

Zack, what's up?

Done by the end

of the day, right?

Yeah, I was just, uh,

I put that in the bin for you.

Is this still H.264?

- Oh, we're great.

- Yeah.

- Yeah, no problem.

- You got it.

Did you start this?

No, not at all.

- All right, uh...

- You got it?

Yeah, I'm on it.

All right. Okay. Thanks, man.

Oh, hey, speaking

of relationships.

You still with that

hot freaky chick?

- Oh, Theresa?

- Yeah.

She is hot.

Not that freaky though.

She's into that

like new-agey stuff.

I mean, with her? I don't know.

Because she's into

open relationships,

so it's a little weird.

- It's perfect.

- Really?

Dude, don't f*** it up

by asking questions.

You're probably right.

Seriously, yeah.

- All right, man.

- I'll see ya.

Relationship rather than

just being myself, so...

I'm uncomfortable,

and I want out.

What?

All right, Mr. Cameraman,

what do you wanna know?

Give me some good stories

about open relationships.

Um, okay.

Um, my primary partner

had his L.A. girlfriend

come in to town once,

and I was going to New Jersey

to stay with my parents,

and I spent the whole day

cleaning and getting ready,

and I bought flowers.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, I just wanted it

to be perfect for them.

- Really?

- Yeah.

That seems so amazing to me

that you can just like...

So you don't have

jealousy at all, ever?

- No.

- Come on.

No, we're all on

our own paths, you know?

Everybody's got...

their own needs.

But do you even have the

feeling, and then you say, like,

"I'm not going to go

with this feeling,"

or do you just not even have

the feeling of jealousy?

Um...

The only feeling I have is like,

"Oh, I really wish... "

If I suddenly wish that he

was there, but he's not there.

Mm-hmm.

But that's, you know,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes