Manhattan Romance Page #5

with weed.

I'm gonna get you wine.

How is cheap red wine for you?

It's fine.

This is really good weed.

Where'd you get it?

I got it from

my tai chi instructor.

Oh, my God.

You have a tai chi instructor?

You don't?

Oh, my God, what are you?

Like an 85-year-old Asian man?

I am, in the body of...

You're very well maintained.

You never know what it's like

inside the relationship.

That's so true.

Well, it was fun.

It used to be fun.

How long has it

not been fun for?

I don't know.

Are you okay?

Hey.

Hey, come here.

You're gonna be okay.

Really?

Really.

How do you know?

I can feel it.

I know these things.

I do.

You know what we're gonna do?

We're gonna go for a walk.

You're gonna be fine. Come on.

I have a good plan for us.

- You do?

- Yeah.

- Can you do it?

- Yeah, I can do it.

- Can you see?

- It's a meadow!

- What is it?

- It's a whole meadow!

- Are we in the right space?

- Yeah. Straight.

What street is this?

Suffolk.

We're not there yet.

We're almost there.

- What is your name?

- I'm Megan.

- Hey, I'm Danny.

- Hi, Danny, nice to meet you.

- This is Carla.

- Hi, how are you?

- Yeah, good. How are you doing?

- Good. It's good.

Tequila?

- Where are you from?

- I'm from Ireland, from Dublin.

- Do you like it?

- I love it here.

- Do you live in the city?

- Well, I don't know now.

I'm sort of homeless

as of tonight.

- You gotta drown your sorrows.

- Yeah!

She's like

an Irish Brigette Bardot.

- You should have one more shot.

- Really? You think?

Have you got to work tomorrow?

How can you say no

to that accent?

No, I can't

say no to that accent.

Here's to New York. Come on.

It's a good tequila.

I wouldn't give you bad tequila.

I already can't feel my teeth.

You got the basic stuff.

You haven't met that guy

or that girl, right?

Yeah, exactly.

I haven't met that person.

You never know. You come into

a bar and meet a guy or girl.

Completely depends.

And that's a good way to be

because you double your odds.

No, I've never dated

a customer.

Thanks for answering that.

I'm not doing a number slide.

I'm just asking!

I'm gonna get a number slide!

I want you to be happy.

This is your night.

I don't even know

what's going on with her.

And she wouldn't tell me

if she was with someone else.

When you ask someone,

"Are you with someone,"

"are you seeing someone else,

have you met someone else?"

and they don't

answer that question...

Right, but I mean, you don't

ask that question unless like...

- What did you... What?

- Let's stop talking about it.

But she's also...

Where are you going?

I dropped my napkin,

you f***ing pervert!

- This is your life, right?

- No, I know.

Do you want something

that's extraordinary.

Or something that's like...

- No, I want that.

- Yeah, exactly.

- Sorry, if I spat on you.

- No, I just wanna hug you.

I just wanna hug you.

- She's doing her thing.

- What are you saying?

- Then you go like this.

- I don't need the criticism.

We should really...

We should go?

But I tried to get that

out of her.

Did you see how I tried

to get that out of her?

- Yeah.

- Did you try?

I feel like there's a level

that we're so close,

and we're like

really good friends,

but I get to a certain level,

and then it's like,

boom, door goes up.

Like, it's like

"That's as far as you get. "

- You wanna get a bit further.

- No, no, no!

You joke about it

and you make jokes,

but like I really

feel that sometimes.

I'm just being honest.

I'm just being honest.

You know, you can trust me.

Like I don't know why you feel

like you can't trust me.

Why are you taking

all the drinks?

It's like you get it,

like you f***ing get it,

and you don't even know

that you get it.

Like you're just like so cool,

and you're

a f***ing great woman,

and you seek these relationships

where if you're not appreciated,

No, I was crazy in college.

And I would f*** these women

that I had no connection to.

Oh, my God, that's so unusual!

Wait, in college, you got

really drunk all the time

- and f***ed women?

- Isn't that crazy?

So you were that one

that did that in college.

- You were the one guy...

- That did that.

No, I'm not saying

I was a one guy.

I'm just trying

to make a point.

I'm saying that I did that

with these girls

that I would be attracted to,

but then I also had these

really good girlfriends

that we would stay up all night

and talk and bond

and everything,

but I would never even think

about sleeping with those girls.

It was like I wanted to keep

those two things separate.

Right, right,

but did those chicks,

the ones that would stay up

braiding your hair every night...

- You are such a b*tch.

- Did they wanna have...

Did they wanna

have sex with you?

No, because I had

braided hair at that point.

Why would they wanna

have sex with me?

No, that was not

part of our thing.

They totally wanted

to have sex with you.

And they were like, "When is he

going to make a move?"

How long do I have to talk about

feelings with this f***ing guy?"

Really? They were waiting

for me to make a move?

I hope they weren't.

I thought we were bonding.

You couldn't

handle the intimacy

like full-on altogether.

You could either have

sexual intimacy,

which wasn't really intimacy;

It was just banging.

- It was banging.

- Or intimacy without the sex.

You weren't ready

for the whole shebang.

I get it. You're really

not there even now.

That's what I'm saying.

I have not made

that much progress.

Did she call?

I have not looked at my phone.

Good. Don't.

Yeah.

I don't want to.

Thank you so much for tonight.

Of course, it was fun.

I had a good time.

Do you have

everything you need?

- Glass of water, anything?

- No. I'm good.

- Where are you going?

- I'm going to sleep.

- Where?

- On the couch.

You should get in here with me.

There's plenty of room. Look.

No, it's all right.

- What's your problem?

- Couch is comfortable

I don't know.

You wanna share the bed?

This is stupid. It'll be fun.

I don't wanna sleep alone.

All right. I'm good with it.

I can't really sleep

in these, but...

- Can you turn around?

- Are you kidding me?

So I just feel a little awkward,

and I don't like these boxers.

But I've seen you

in swimming trunks before.

But I don't like these boxers.

Just...

turn around for two seconds!

This is ridiculous.

Oh, just shut the f*** up

and turn around.

- One.

- Wait a second.

- Two.

- No, no, I meant...

Two and a half.

I saw your boxers!

They're horrible, aren't they?

- No, I didn't see them.

- I have no idea.

You're shy, huh?

I'm a little shy.

We've never been

in bed together.

- It's the first time.

- Oh, my God!

Is this what you do

usually in bed?

Face the person

and talk to them?

Yeah. Can we kill the lamp?

- Do you mind?

- Not at all.

- Sorry. I gotta reach over you.

- So f***in' rude.

I can't believe

I just did that.

Are you tired?

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