Manpower Page #6

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SMILEY, THAT GUINEA COOK

YOU HIRED THIS MORNING'S QUITTING ON YOU.

DID HE COOK THIS STEAK?

YEAH.

WELL, TAKE THIS,

AND GO CUT HIS THROAT.

I'LL GO WATCH THE BAR

MYSELF.

AND HE LISTENED:

OH, ISN'T LOVE JUS TOO, TOO DIVINE?

[APPLAUSE]

COME ON,

SIT DOWN, BEAUTIFUL.

LATER, MISTER,

WHEN THE WHISTLE ROARS.

OH, NO. IT'S ON ME.

HEY! WHERE ARE WE GOING?

SO I SAYS TO:

THIS SPENDTHRIFT,

"I'LL TALK TURKEY

IF YOU TALK MINK." THAT SHUT HIM UP.

YEAH, MOST OF THESE

SKUNKS DON'T KNOW THEIR FURS.

HEY, FAY,

COME OUT OF IT.

WHAT'S

BOTHERING YOU NOW?

HANK WANTS ME:

TO MARRY HIM.

GIMPY WANTS:

TO MARRY YOU?

WELL, WHAT ARE

YOU WAITING FOR?

BEFORE I'D MARRY HIM,

I'D BE AN OLD MAID.

HONEY, THE BOA HAS SAILED.

HUSTLE YOUR MUSCLE,

SCARLETT.

THERE'S A GUY AT THE BAR

WITH A NEW SET OF DOUGH.

AND MY MAMA THOUGH I'D BE A GREAT ARTIST.

WELL, I AIN'T HEARD

ANYTHING DIFFERENT.

NO KIDDING, FAY,

IF THE GUY REALLY WANTS

TO MARRY YOU, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

I DON'T LOVE HIM.

JEEPERS, I AIN'T HEARD

THAT LINE IN YEARS.

WAKE UP, HONEY.

DO YOU WANT EVERYTHING?

I DON'T LIKE TO GIVE

A GOOD GUY A BAD SHAKE.

LISTEN, IF A FELLOW

EVER PROPOSED TO ME,

I'D ONLY ASK MYSELF

TWO THINGS:

"A," DOES HE WEAR PANTS?

"B," HAS HE GOT A JOB?

LOOK AROUND YOU, FAY.

THIS JOINT'S A DEAD-END STREET.

I'M 25, LOOK 35,

AND FEEL LIKE 50.

GRAB HIM, FAY,

BEFORE HE CHANGES HIS MIND.

HEY, FAY, THE GUY

UP AT THE BAR WANTS TO SEE YOU,

AND HE AIN'T BAD.

HE AIN'T GOOD,

OR HE WOULDN'T BE IN HERE.

HERE'S A SWELL GUY

FROM BUTTE, MONTANA.

HE'S A MINER.

OH, JAILBAIT.

MM-HMM.

NO, HE WAS OVER 60.

HIYA.

HI.

HELLO.

HELLO. HAVE A DRINK?

THAT'S WHA I'M HERE FOR.

Bartender:

WHAT'LL IT BE?

CHAMPAGNE COCKTAIL.

BEER.

HOW MANY OF THOSE

CAN YOU HANDLE A NIGHT?

YOU DON'T THINK

I'M DOPE ENOUGH

TO DRINK ANYTHING

STRONG AROUND A DAME LIKE YOU, DO YOU?

ALL RIGHT, DIAMOND JIM.

WHAT ARE YOU SELLING?

I AIN'T SELLING.

I'M BUYING.

HOW MUCH DO YOU WAN TO LEAVE HANK ALONE?

HOW MUCH ARE:

YOU OFFERING?

I GOT 200 BUCKS SAYS

YOU DON'T MARRY HIM.

WHAT A WEAK VOICE

YOU HAVE, GRANDPA.

DON'T CON ME.

YOU NEVER SAW:

SO MUCH LOOSE DOUGH IN ALL YOUR LIFE.

I'M TELLING YOU,

LEAVE HIM ALONE.

OH, YOU KNOW I'M

NOT MAD ABOUT HIM.

LOOK, DON'T BULL ME,

SISTER.

I'VE BEEN IN

A COUPLE OF CITIES,

AND YOU'VE BEEN

IN CIRCULATION A LONG, LONG TIME.

YOU'VE GO A LOT OF GALL CRAWLING IN HERE

AND SETTING:

YOURSELF UP:

AS THE OLD:

FAMILY LAWYER.

I DON'T KNOW

WHETHER TO LAUGH IN YOUR FACE

OR TO BAT IT IN:

WITH A BOTTLE.

I'D STICK TO THE LAUGHING

IF I WERE YOU.

I DUCK FAS AND SWING FASTER.

HANK AIN'T VERY BRIGHT,

BUT HE'S MY FRIEND.

AND IF HE HOOKS UP

WITH A DAME LIKE YOU,

HE'S TYING HIMSELF

INTO A LOT OF HEADACHES HE NEVER FIGURED ON.

I'M ON TO YOUR RACKET.

YOU'VE GO THE BLUEPRINTS ALL DRAWN, HAVEN'T YOU?

YEAH, AND YOU GO A LINE, SISTER,

BUT IT DON'T MAKE

A WIFE FOR A RIGHT GUY.

SO I'M TELLING

YOU STRAIGHT,

FORGET THAT YOU:

EVER SEEN HIM.

AND IF YOU DON'T GE WHAT I MEAN,

THIS MIGHT GIVE:

YOU AN IDEA.

NOW, YOU TAKE THA MONEY AND STICK IT BACK IN YOUR POCKET.

GO AND BUY YOURSELF

SOME MANNERS.

FOR WHAT?

TO WASTE ON YOU?

NOW, LISTEN, MISTER.

BEFORE YOU CAME:

IN HERE, I WAS WORRYING ABOUT HANK.

I FIGURED I WOULDN' MARRY HIM BECAUSE HE IS A REGULAR GUY,

AND HE HAS BEEN:

SWELL TO ME.

BUT NOW I'M GONNA

MARRY HIM WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT.

IS THERE:

ANYTHING ELSE?

NO.

CHECK.

WHAT'S THE

TROUBLE, FOLKS?

OH, THIS MUG

WAS TRYING TO BUY UP MY SPARE TIME.

TWO BUCKS FOR WHAT?

ONE BEER AND SOME

PHONY CHAMPAGNE?

THAT'S RIGHT,

FRIEND.

HERE'S A HALF A BUCK.

SPLIT IT BETWEEN YOU.

AIN'T YOU BEING

A LITTLE HASTY, PAL?

THE TINHORNS:

THAT TALK BIGGES

SCREAM THE LOUDES WHEN THEY GET THE CHECK.

YOU'RE SO CHEAP,

YOU'RE WHOLESALE.

THOSE ARE OUR:

PRICES, CHUM.

CASH ON THE LINE.

IT'S WORTH--DAME AND ALL.

YOU DON'T WANT TO

GET IN NO TROUBLE, DO YOU?

I JUST HAD THIS:

SUIT PRESSED.

TAKE YOUR PAWS OFF IT.

HA HA HA!

DON'T FORGET, MISTER,

I ASKED YOU NICE.

[WOMEN SCREAMING]

BOY, WITH THIS I CAN HI HOME RUNS ALL NIGHT.

HERE, TAKE THIS IN CASE

I WANT TO COME BACK.

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

I'M NOT AT HOME.

I'M NOT AT HOME.

NOBODY HERE.

HEY, JUMBO.

WHAT?

JUMBO,

I'M ALL CONFUSED.

WHAT GOES ON:

AT A WEDDING?

OH, IF YOU'D DO

YOUR CELEBRATING

AFTER INSTEAD:

OF BEFORE THESE SHINDIGS,

YOU'D FIND OUT.

BUT I'M ALL MIXED UP!

WHAT GOES ON:

AT A WEDDING?

YOUR MOTHER:

AND FATHER:

GOT MARRIED,

DIDN'T THEY?

YEAH, BUT I

WASN'T THERE.

OH! COME ON,

GET HIM IN THERE.

[MUMBLING]

[MUMBLING]

JUMBO! I'M LOST.

HELLO, JUMBO.

SHH!

[WEDDING MUSIC]

MY, FRIENDS,

WE ARE ASSEMBLED HERE

TO JOIN THIS MAN

AND WOMAN IN MARRIAGE.

LET US REMEMBER:

THAT GOD HAS ESTABLISHED AND SANCTIFIED MARRIAGE

FOR THE WELFARE:

AND HAPPINESS OF MANKIND.

LET IT BE KNOWN:

FOR THOSE WHO ENTER INTO THIS RELATION

TO CHERISH, ENRICH,

AND ESTEEM AND LOVE,

TO COMFORT EACH OTHER

IN SICKNESS, TROUBLE, AND SORROW.

WHAT FLOOR IS THIS?

IF THERE BE:

ANY HERE PRESEN:

WHO KNOW OF:

ANANY JUST CAUSE

WHY THEY MAY NOT LAWFULLY

BE JOINED IN MARRIAGE,

I REQUIRE HIM NOW

TO MAKE IT KNOWN

OR FOREVER AFTER

HOLD HIS PEACE.

BY THE AUTHORITY

COMMITTED UNTO ME AS JUDGE,

I DECLARE FAY AND HENRY

ARE NOW HUSBAND AND WIFE.

WHOM THEREFORE GOD

HATH JOINED TOGETHER, LET NO MAN PUT ASUNDER.

CONGRATULATIONS.

[APPLAUSE]

COME ON, JOHNNY.

KISS THE BRIDE.

THIS IS YOUR:

LAST CHANCE.

OK, EVERYBODY,

COME ON DOWN. KISS THE BRIDE.

JUMBO...

DREAMY,

DREAMY CHINATOWN

ALMOND EYES ARE LOW

[INDISTINCT]

IN DREAMY,

DREAMY CHINATOWN

[SINGING IN CHINESE]

[SINGING CONTINUES]

HONEY, YOU'RE GONNA GE YOUR HANDS ALL CHOPPED UP.

WELL, THAT'S A CHANCE

I GOTTA TAKE.

NOW, REMEMBER,

WHEN I START WIPING,

YOU GOTTA STAB MY HANDS.

ALL RIGHT,

ALL RIGHT, NOW.

LET'S STOP TALKING

AND GET GOING, NOW.

READY?

[LAUGHTER]

HEY, MAYBE THE OWNER

OF THE JOIN:

WILL LET YOU SI ON HIS DESK BLOTTER.

[CHEERING]

NOTHING'S TOO GOOD

FOR YOU, DARLING.

[SPEAKING

INDISTINCTLY]

HA HA! COME ON.

COME ON, EVERYBODY.

HAVE ANOTHER DRINK,

ALREADY.

WELL, HERE'S

TO THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BRIDE

IN LOS ANGELES...

IN CALIFORNIA... THE WHOLE WORLD!

INCLUDING HONOLULU.

COME ON, TAKE A BOW.

PLEASE, HANK.

COME ON, BABY,

GET UP.

SHOW WHA I'M GETTING.

I'M PROUD OF YOU.

I DON'T CARE

WHO KNOWS IT.

HERE'S TO MY WIFE.

HEY, HANK.

YOU'RE ON A PRETTY

HIGH POLE.

YOU BETTER SIT DOWN

BEFORE YOU FALL OFF.

HEY, A FELLA'S GOTTA

HAVE SOME FUN AT A WEDDING, DON'T HE?

ESPECIALLY HIS OWN.

HA HA HA!

WANNA DANCE?

SURE.

COME ON, EVERYBODY

HAVE A DRINK TO MY PAL JOHNNY.

NOW THA YOU GOT HANK,

WHAT ARE YOU:

GONNA DO WITH HIM?

NOW, LOOK, MISTER,

EVEN IF I WAS ALL YOU THINK I AM,

I'D STILL BE SMAR ENOUGH TO PLAY BALL.

ALL'S I GOTTA SAY

TO YOU IS KEEP YOUR NOSE CLEAN.

YOU GOT THE HOOK

IN HIM.

NOW DON'T LET ME

CATCH YOU TWISTING IT AROUND.

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK

I COULDN'T LEVEL WITH A GUY?

YOU COULDN'T EVEN

LEVEL WITH YOURSELF.

YOU GOT THAT CLIP

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